A Pain Play
The curtain rises on act one of your daily "pain play."
Usually it starts in the morning when you are just awakening. Your pills and water are at bedside, not just one but usually several. With practice you can juggle the pills on your tongue and swallow the lot in one gulp.
You lay there in your bed, slowly testing, stretching, discovering which joint or joints will be the trouble makers today. You lay there, waiting for the meds to kick into gear. The pills don't scatter the pain like they used to. Now you must settle for the thin masking they provide. Another "settle for" like so many other things in your life you had to settle for.
If you are lucky and most of us are so blessed. With a mother, lover or other person to help you get going. It's mostly always the same, this routine of pain, day to day.
Sometimes though it is different. The pain is not there, you are free. Motion does not have to be bartered for pain. You are once again that nimble you, that you that you almost forgot you were at one time.
But do not get comfortable, do not send out announcements telling the world you are pain free. No, it's just an illusion the cruelest cut of all, those fleeting painless moments.Arthritris is a cruel mistress who revels in these twists and turns, as long as it brings you back to her reality.
As long as you don't forget that a pain free life is not yours to live. Arthritis is probably the most trivialized disease out there. Most nonbelievers think of arthritis as "the old person's disease".Something more to complain about, and take the latest over the counter drug. Keep granddad happy, let him ramble on if it makes him happy.
People with arthritis become attune to when they are being listened to but not really heard. It's in the eyes, it's that definite drop out stare we get when further conversation has ended and polite interest has begun. They are tuning you out and it hurts.
They don't intend to hurt you but you have stepped that last step towards their tidy little reality. You are getting too close and it is time to end your time on their stage."Say bye bye" your finished.
When pain steps it strides a wide gait. Not much doesn't get flattened. Those of us who have significant arthritis have witnessed many flattened dreams. We don't get used to it we just know how deep we need to bury the pain. We become consent actors, we learn how to suffer in silence.
To my fellow arthritics I say "Bravo, Bravo" you have once again made it across the stage. Down with the curtain and bring the house lights up to 50%. The show is over, everyone has a ride home and tomorrow is that other day.
~~ Harry
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