Home Community Newsletter Vol 4 Issue 148

Arthritis Insight Newsletter * Vol. 4 Issue 148 April 16, 2003

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Welcome to the 148th issue of the Arthritis Insight Newsletter. All back issues will be posted at /community/newsletter
Feel free to pass this newsletter around to others who may be interested.

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The information in this newsletter should not take the place of advice and guidance from your own health-care providers. Material in this newsletter is provided for educational and informational purposes only. Be sure to check with your doctor before making any changes in your treatment plan. Information presented here is the opinion of the authors and has not necessarily been approved or endorsed by the medical advisors.

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Notes From Tina
(Tina@arthritisinsight.com)
Tina Underwood aka KrissyJo

Tina's still out and we're still in hibernation mode. There seems to be alot of people out there with Humira questions. We'll be adding it to our medication index this week, but the information is also being included in this newsletter for those members that don't regularly visit the site.

You may also want to follow Ashley's progress with the newest biologic treatment for RA. Her journal can be found at:

http://www.livejournal.com/~ashleyc_medical/

The fundraiser has slowed quite a bit - please visit /help/fundraiser2003 if you can help. There's just under a month left and some really prizes up for grabs.

That's all from me, let's see what Ron's got to say...

~Kim

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Ron's Ramblin's
(Ron@arthritisinsight.com)
Ron Griffin aka IndyRon

Well, here it is April 15th, the one day that I think everyone dreads. I certainly hope that the deities at the IRS were relatively nice to you. You can join me in mourning my losses. Even though I filed for an extension, I had to send them a nice little check with it. <sigh>

Why is it that when I decide to do inside projects that the weather turns absolutely beautiful and when I have the kids who want to hide Easter Eggs, it is supposed to rain. Guess we will hide them either inside or in the rain. Either one will be fun. This is going to be a full weekend. In addition to it being Easter, I have a birthday boy who wants to go out for dinner (steak) for his birthday. Just how is it that I have children with adult tastes, one with a taste for steak and another who would eat shrimp til he got sick. Oh well, as long as they enjoy it.

I will be heading to South Carolina next week sometime. I really can’t wait. I know that there is a lot of work to be done on Dad’s house down there, but being there in the spring when the Azaleas and dogwoods are in bloom will make it all worth while. I will keep you posted on how things go there. I suspect that, at least at first, I will have to make several short trips so that I can figure out what needs to be done, what materials and tools I need and the best way to go about things.

(((HUGS)))

~Ron

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Your Weekly Giggle
Mama Bear
Sent in by Susan

In this life I'm a woman. In my next life, I'd like to come back as a
bear. When you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but
sleep for six months. I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could
deal with that, too.

When you're a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size of
walnuts) while you're sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute
cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that.

If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat
anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat
them too. I could deal with that.

If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He
EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.

Yup...gonna be a bear.

Check out all the jokes at:
/fun/jokes
Send yours in today!

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Tina's Tips
Tina@arthritisinsight.com

Arthritis can affect your ability to do even the simplest of tasks. I've heard some people say, "Accept your limitations." I'm not sure accepting them is the way to go. I prefer to challenge those limitations, work around them, finding alternate ways of achieving the same goal. Every week I'll share some tips I've found to work around those annoying limitations and I hope all of you will send in your tips too. We may not be the next Martha Stewart, but sometimes the simplest things can help so much.

A big thank you to ChineseBarbie for this week's tip :o)

I just got some "Hot Spots" and they are quite helpful around the
kitchen.

You can find out more about them at http://www.treespirit.com

Basically, Hot Spots are flexible silicon potholders that are about
to tolerate heat as high as 675 F. Since they are flexible, I can
also use them to help me open jars. Also, when I get hot items out
of the oven, I have a much better grip on the hot dish/pan.

I have tossed away those grippy things that I've used to open jars.
It's so nice to have less clutter in my kitchen...

Check out more tips at /living/tips.html and send in yours today to Tina@arthritisinsight.com Keep those tips coming!

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What’s New
Check out all the latest updates at /updates.html

Arthritis Warrior
We've got a new nomination and an update.
/warrior

Arthritis & Depression
Another member tells us what gets her down.
/living/depression

Fundraiser 2003
Ron found a buncha donations in the mailbox! We've got a new tally. We'd like to thank Donna Meade, Gary Arthurs, Alice Tuohey, Grace James, Richard Ekstrand, Richard & Judy Castleberry, Howard Van Tuyl, Laura Rayfield, Mimi Molina, Lisa Hansen, Vickie Love, Daniel Naeger, Elizabeth Root, Mary Olivanti, Brenda Flanagan, Sheila Olah, Derald Keiser, Trish DeFalco, Tonya McCoy and Sarah Charbonneau for their generous donations!
/help/fundraiser2003

Newsletter
The very latest edition is up and ready for you.
/community/newsletter

News
KaeKae's been working hard. All the latest arthritis and general health news gathered from all over the internet - just for you.
/news

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Arthritis Insight Chat
/community/chat

The Arthritis Insight Chatroom is a great place to spend a cold, snowy evening. Stop in a warm up with your friends next to the fireplace. We always have hot cocoa and coffee ready!

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Cooking with Char
Char LeFleur
Char@arthritisinsight.com

Hello friends. The weather has been beautiful in Iowa, over the weekend. We set record highs on Sunday and Monday. But it is supposed to cool off drastically by Thursday. Back into the 40s!! So as far as cooking goes, I don't know whether to cook for cool weather or hot!

So let's do a little of both!! And Easter is coming, so let's see what we can do with boiled eggs. If your house is like mine was as I was growing up, you have lots of eggs to use up. They are so much fun to color and decorate, but you have to figure a way to use them all.

One fun thing to do, is hard boil your eggs. Cool them. And peel them. THEN you dunk them in the vegetable dyes you usually use to color the shells. They dye well, and the depth of the color depends on how long you leave them in the dye, just like the ones with the shells still on. Then they can be used to make some pretty Easter Deviled Eggs!! Or sliced to used in a salad.

I hard cook my eggs, rather than hard boil them. When they are boiled, the outside of the yolk turns a muddy green color. Not very pleasant to look at.

To hard cook eggs--Buy your eggs a day or two ahead. The really fresh eggs are hard to peel.

Put eggs in a pan (as many as you want).
Cover with cold water
Add 2-3 tablespoons of salt (this help keeps the eggs from cracking during the cooking process)
Bring eggs to a rolling boil and remove immediately from the heat.
Cover the pan, and let set for 10 minutes.
Drain off hot water, and put in cold water, changing the water as soon as it gets warm. Keep doing this until the eggs are cool. Peel.

Now they are ready for what every you want them for.

New to cooking, and you have never made Deviled Eggs? Really simple to make and everybody loves them.

Deviled Eggs

Taking whole boiled or hard cooked eggs, slice into the length of the egg.
Carefully remove the egg yolks and put into a bowl. Set aside the egg white halves.
Mash egg yolks with a fork
Add enough mayo or mayo type salad dressing to make a mixture with a paste like consistency.
I usually add about a tablespoon of finely chopped mild onion (less if the onion is kind of strong) and a tablespoon of finely chopped sweet pickle
Add a little pickle juice
1 tablespoon of Dijon mustard

Mix together well, and either spoon into egg white halves or pipe in if you want to be fancier.
Sprinkle with a tiny bit of paprika if desired. Keep well chilled until served.

And how about a Fresh Tomato Pasta Salad?

Tomato Pasta Salad

6 medium tomatoes, peeled and
chopped
3 green onions, chopped
3 Tbs. fresh parsley, chopped
2 tsp. red wine vinegar
1 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. sugar
1 1/2 tsp. fresh basil or 1/2
tsp. dried
1/8 tsp. pepper
1/4 c. olive or salad oil
18 oz. pkg. pasta noodles

About 3 hours before serving: Mix all ingredients
except pasta. Cover bowl and let stand to blend flavors.
About 30 minutes before: Cook pasta according to package
directions. Drain and stir into other ingredients. Serve
immediately or refrigerate until served. (May be served with
Parmesan cheese.) Contains 260 calories per serving. Makes 6
servings.

If you have questions, comments, suggestions or recipes you would to share send them to Char@arthritisinsight.com.

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Medication Index - Humira
/medical/meds/index.html

HUMIRA (Adalimumab)

What is it?

Humira is a Disease Modifying Anti Rheumatic Drug (DMARD), one of the new class called biologic response modifiers.

FDA approved:

December 2002

Average annual cost:

$16,000

Brand Names and International Availability:

Humira (US)

How does it work?

Designed specifically to block the effects of cytokines, which act as messengers within the immune system and can cause inflammation to the joints, this reduces the symptoms of RA by helping the body's own immune system to slow down the inflammation process and inhibit joint deterioration.

Dosage:

Humira comes in prefilled 1ml syringes, to be given every other week. It can be used alone or in combination with methotrexate or other DMARDs.

How should I take it?

Humira is injected subcutaneously every other week. You may self inject after you are given proper instruction.

Contraindications:

Humira should not be taken if you have an allergy to any of the ingredients (adalimumab, sodium phosphate, sodium citrate, citric acid, mannitol, and polysorbate 80), or if you have any allergies to rubber or latex.

Before you start taking HUMIRA you should tell your doctor if you have or have had any of the following:

Any kind of infection including an infection that is in only one place in your body (such as an open cut or sore), or an infection that is in your whole body (such as the flu). Having an infection could put you at risk for serious side effects from HUMIRA. If you are unsure, please ask your doctor.
A history of infections that keep coming back or other conditions that might increase your risk of infections.
If you've ever had tuberculosis (TB), or if you have been in close contact with someone who's had TB. If you develop any of the symptoms of TB (a dry cough that doesn't go away, weight loss, fever, night sweats) call your doctor right away. Your doctor will need to examine you for TB and perform a skin test.
If you experience any numbness or tingling or have ever had a disease that affects your nervous system like multiple sclerosis.
If you're scheduled to have major surgery.
If you're scheduled to be vaccinated for anything.
Humira has not been tested on pregnant mothers or nursing mothers and should only be used if clearly needed.

Drug Interactions:

While you should be able to take all of your other medications while taking Humira, you must be sure to tell your doctor about every medication you're taking. This includes prescription medication, over the counter medications, and herbal supplements.

Possible side effects:

The most frequently reported side effect is injection site reaction. Other less serious side effects include headache, nausea and diarrhea.

More serious side effects that you should report right away include infection (sinusitis, fever, upper respiratory symptoms, unusual redness and swelling).

In very rare cases, as with all TNF-blocking agents there is a possibility of developing tuberculosis (TB), or disorders that affect the nervous system, very rare cases of certain kinds of cancer, or lupus-like symptoms. If you experience chest pains that do not go away, shortness of breath, joint pain or a rash on your cheeks or arms that is sensitive to the sun, call your doctor right away. Your doctor may decide to stop your treatment.

Signs of a possible allergic reaction are rash, swelling and difficulty breathing. These symptoms should be reported immediately.

Precautions & Special Notes:

This drug must be kept refrigerated until ready to use.

Please find out the proper method for needle disposal in your area.

For more information:

http://humira.com

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Member Stories
Roxanne's Humira Journal

My name is Roxanne and I am 39 years old. I have suffered from RA since the age of 32. Right after the birth of my 2nd daughter. After my first daughter, I came down with my first autoimmune disorder, hypothyroidism. At first the doc put me on some prednisone and plaquenil. The prednisone helped me a lot. Later, the doctor added methotrexate and then I did the Enbrel and after 2 years of Enbrel, we tried the Remicade. I can’t say that these drugs helped a whole lot. In July, after my 7th infusion of Remicade, I suffered from a severe allergic reaction to the Remicade 15 minutes into my infusion. I broke out in hives, a rash, and my entire body started to swell and deform. They pushed fluids and stopped the Remicade right away. The doctor told me that I am no longer aloud to have Remicade. Well, that is what brought me to Humira. My doctor told me about Humira, known then as D2E7. I waited and enrolled in the study. It is a phase III for safety and efficacy. Upon initiation of the study my sedrate and CRP were quite elevated to be between 70 and 90. Since enrolling in the study, Humira, has since been approved by the FDA.

I took my first shot of Humira on Monday, January 6, 2003. I took in the office, just like you would Enbrel. I had to call the study coordinator on Friday to let her know how I was feeling. Well, I can’t say I feel anything yet. I am not sure. I know that sounds dumb. The only thing that I can say is this. I lived on Tylenol 3 times a day and Advil twice. I have only taken Tylenol a total of 2 times in one week. From my RA, I suffer low grade fevers and I have not had one since the starting the Humira. Upon starting Enbrel and Remicade, I did suffer from a lot of Herpes Simplex. When I stopped the Remicade in July, after the allergic reaction I only got one in 5 months. Three days after the beginning of Humira I got them again. I have to keep a record of how often I get them.

To see the rest of stories go on over to:
/community/stories

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Notes and Insights:

Birthday Board!
Happy Birthday Laura, Dawn0, Mary MacTavish, Beth, Tracy aka Tra, Colleen Donald, Kelly Bertram, Melanie Allen, Bren Lane aka Chatterbox aka Katet35, and Mary Peterson!!!
Check out all the birthdays at
/community/birthday
and make sure to send them an arthritis-friendly e-card:
/cgi-bin/postcards/postcard.pl

Fundraiser 2003
We don't like to beg, but we're having a hard time staying online. The cost of keeping Arthritis Insight running is large (to us anyway), and while there are still no salaries being paid, there are monthly bills that need to be covered if we want to stay online.
Our solution? We're having a Fundraiser.
It's been two years since we've had one - and we know we're not the only ones out there asking you to part with your money, but if you can help, please check out the Fundraiser information at:
/help/fundraiser2003

Get Involved
Laura Rayfield's getting her tushie kicked donation wise for the Arthritis Foundation walk she'll be participating in next month in Nashville. Maybe we can help her out.
/community/involved

Gimpfest 2003 -- Iowa, Here We Come!
Come be part of the fun when dozens of gimps head to Stuart, Iowa on July 24-27.
Get all the details here:
http://www.fadedjeans.com/iowa/

AJAO Regional Conference
"Taming Juvenile Arthritis"
June 2003 - Phoenix, Arizona
The Arthritis Foundation is proud to host the 2003 American Juvenile Arthritis Organization (AJAO) Regional Conference, "Taming Juvenile Arthritis." The American Juvenile Arthritis Organization leads the effort to improve the quality of life for those affected by childhood arthritis and related diseases. This 3-day conference is geared towards children, teens, young adults and family members who are affected by juvenile rheumatoid arthritis and other childhood rheumatic diseases
http://jraworld.arthritisinsight.com/community/involved.html

JRA JAMFEST: General Information:
Dates: Saturday May 17, 2003 - Sunday May 18, 2003
Target Audience: Kid Friendly,General Audience
Time: 11:00 a.m.- 5:00 p.m.
Phone: 502-589-6620, ext 106
Location:
Derby Flea Market & Traders Circle:
2900 South 7th Street Road,
Louisville, KY 40216
Ticket Information: free admission, fee for games, raffles, etc..
Event Details/Other Comments:
JRA JamFEST is a two day event to benefit FACES. FACES is Facing Arthritis with Compassion, Encouragement and Support, a group for children, teens and young adults living with juvenile rheumatoid arthritis (JRA). All proceeds will go directly to FACES and will help us sponsor children and their families to JRA conferences, JRA camps, and other juvenile arthritis related events! Join us for a day of live music on May 17th featuring Doubleback and headlining, Wayne Young and the Youngsters!!! May 18th enter our Karaoke Contest! Come out for the fun, entertainment, games, prizes, food, drink, information and lots more!!!!

Join the Arthritis Dieters!
This is a group of people with arthritis who want to lose weight with others who know of the challenges of living with is arthritis. All those medications that make living with arthritis tolerable, but pile on the pounds. This group has been set up to give us a protected group where we can talk to others who know what it is like.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/arthritis-dieters/

Wanna help?
Having surgery? Starting a new drug or treatment? Filing for disability? Keep an Arthritis Insight journal so all of our members can share and learn from your experience. If you want to keep a journal just let us know.

Write an article!
We always need articles on all subjects relating to arthritis. C'mon folks, we can't do this without you.

Ken Akers Cheer Fund
Donations to the Ken Akers Cheer Fund will be used to send flowers and gifts to those community members who are hospitalized, flaring or just in need of some good cheer.
/community/kenscheerfund

Thank You!
A great big thank you to NeedaBasket.com (http://needabasket.com). NeedaBasket is now Arthritis Insight's official gift basket company. They are giving us a great discount and are donating baskets for our Arthritis Warriors.

Special Offers for Arthritis Insight Members
Whenever possible we will try get to our sponsors to agree to discounts and the like for our members. Here are our current special offers:

Sore No More (http://sorenomore.com) gel will send a free sample of the pain relieving gel to any Arthritis Insight Community Member who emails them at dma@glogerm.com.

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AI Help Desk
Linda Peck

Q: What does it mean when software is a "beta" version?

A: A beta version is basically a test version of a software program. The
program has been written, and the author(s) think that it is probably bug
free, but they aren't 100% sure. So they release a test version. Sometimes
the test version is open to the public, sometimes just to a select group.

In any event, if you download a pre-release or beta version of a program,
keep in mind that, since it is a test version, you may encounter problems.
These problems are generally isolated to the program, but it may
accidentally cause damage to other software on your machine (especially
shared files). So, beta test at your own risk!

Q: What's the Windows Registry?

A: Basically, the registry is used to store system and program settings.
For example, let's say a program gives you the option of setting its font.
You select a font on its font selection screen and hit OK. When you hit the
OK button, *most* software will make an entry into the registry. Next time
you run the program, it retrieves the information you set, in this case the
font style.

That's a bit of an over-simplification, but you get the gist of it.

Tip of the Week - Drag & Drop Opens

Did you know that most programs allow you to open files by dragging and
dropping them into their window?

For example, let's say you have a picture file sitting on your desktop and
your imaging software is already running. Just drag and drop the file into
the program and it should open (again, this doesn't work with every program
out there, but you don't know until you try). This is really handy if you
tend to have a lot of programs open at once.

Guess what? Just when you thought this couldn't get any better, it does!
You can use this trick to open multiple files at once. Select the files you
want, then just drag and drop the group to your program.

What if the program you want to drag to is minimized on your toolbar? Not a
problem - Just drag your file to its little button and hold (don't let go of
that left mouse button). After a couple seconds the program window will
open and you'll be able to drop the file into it.

Source: Computer Tips & Techniques, http://www.worldstart.com
Copyright 2001, Worldstart - Reprinted with permission.

This Week's Clicks

Oodles of checklists that you can print
Design your own patriotic t-shirt and mousepad
Easter Bunny game (requires Flash)
Knowledge base of how to and tips
Candy from the 50's

Until Next Week -

"You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other
people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in
you." - Dale Carnegie

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Weekly News Summary
Karen Sears
kaekae@arthritisinsight.com

More health news can be found on our site:
/news/

STRONG THIGH MUSCLE MAY HASTEN KNEE ARTHRITIS
Strengthening the thigh muscle is generally thought to help arthritic knees, but a new study suggests that strong thigh muscles may hasten arthritis in those with certain joint or leg characteristics.
Yahoo News, Apr 14

INFLIXIMAB MAY BE EFFECTIVE IN TREATMENT OF POLYMYALGIA RHEUMATICA
Infliximab may be a useful adjunct, and perhaps an alternative, for patients with steroid-resistant polymyalgia rheumatica (PMR), according to a report in the April issue of The Journal of Rheumatology.
Medscape, Apr 15 (free registration required)

HUMAN GENOME COMPLETELY MAPPED
A scant three years after announcing they had a rough map of the human genome (news - web sites), government and private researchers from around the world announced Monday that they have deciphered 99 percent of the genetic code that makes up a human being.
Yahoo News, Apr 14

BRITAIN'S NICE TO REJECT AMGEN'S KINERET
Britain's medical cost-effectiveness watchdog, NICE, looks set to reject Amgen's rheumatoid arthritis drug Kineret (anakinra).
Medscape, Apr 14 (free registration required)

ANTIBODIES NOT LINKED TO ORGAN DAMAGE IN SYSTEMIC LUPUS ERYTHEMATOSUS
Autoantibodies do not appear to be useful in predicting organ damage resulting from systemic lupus erythematosus (SLE) although they do help to diagnose and predict disease activity.
Doctor’s Guide, Apr 13 (free registration required)

ARTHRITIS DRUGS CAN INCREAST CVD RISK IN HYPERTENSIVE PATIENTS
Even the relatively small changes in systolic blood pressure associated with common arthritis medications can significantly increase the risk of cardiovascular disease (CVD), study findings suggest.
Medscape, Apr 11 (free registration required)

LYME DISEASE LESIONS MAY RESEMBLE MORPHEA
Borrelia burgdorferi lesions may present with "peculiar" cutaneous manifestations resembling the inflammatory stage of morphea, Spanish physicians report.
Medscape, Apr 11 (free registration required)

CLINICAL DIAGNOSTIC, THERAPEUTIC MANAGEMENT OF CHILDREN UNDERGOING SURGERY
FOR ARTHRITIS AIDED BY LABORATORY MONITORING
Laboratory monitoring of erythrocyte sedimentation rate and C-reactive protein can be helpful in diagnostic and therapeutic management of children undergoing surgery for acute osteomyelitis and septic arthritis.
Doctor’s Guide, Apr 11 (free registration required)

SOME RHEUMATOID ARTHRITICS AT HIGHER RISK OF SPONTANEOUS TENDON RUPTURE
Rheumatoid arthritis patients with distal ulnar instability and chronic dorsal tenosynovitis are at significant risk for spontaneous tendon rupture in the hand.
Doctor’s Guide, Apr 11 (free registration required)

INTERLEUKIN ONE RECEPTOR ANTAGONIST AIDS FUNCTION IN RHEUMATOID ARTHRITICS
Patients with persistent rheumatoid arthritis despite methotrexate (MTX) therapy rapidly improve functionally after treatment with anakinra, a human recombinant form of interleukin one receptor antagonist.
Doctor’s Guide, Apr 11 (free registration required)

ISCHAEMIA LEADS TO BONE MINERAL LOSS AND CONTENT IN LOWER LIMBS
Bone mineral loss in the lower limbs is the direct result of ischaemia from arterial disease, say French clinicians.
Doctor’s Guide, Apr 11 (free registration required)

HOSPITALS PARTLY BLAME INSURERS FOR HIGH PREMIUMS
Health spending alone does not account for all of the recent steep increases in health insurance premiums, according to a study released Thursday by the hospital industry.
Yahoo News, Apr 10


CORTICOSTEROID INJECTION PLUS PHYSIOTHERAPY MOST EFFECTIVE FOR ADHESIVE
CAPSULITIS
In patients with adhesive capsulitis of the shoulder, a single intra-articular corticosteroid injection coupled with supervised physiotherapy improves shoulder pain and disability, Canadian researchers report. Physiotherapy alone is of "limited efficacy" in these patients.
Medscape, Apr 10 (free registration required)

MEDIAL TIBIA TORSION IMPORTANT IN TOTAL KNEE ARTHROPLASTY
Medial torsion of the tibia should be taken into account in total knee arthroplasty, especially in patients from East Asian countries, Japanese researchers report.
Doctor’s Guide, Apr 10 (free registration required)

ARTHROPLASTY UNDERUTILISED IN SHOULDER OSTEOARTHRITIS
Arthroplasty is underutilised as treatment for shoulder osteoarthritis, French researchers say.
Doctor’s Guide, Apr 10 (free registration required)

LARGER TAMOXIFEN STUDIES INTO SCLERODERMA TREATMENT NOT WARRANTED
large studies on tamoxifen use for scleroderma are not recommended, according to recent American research.
Doctor’s Guide, Apr 10 (free registration required)

ETIDRONATE MAY EXERT ANTIINFLAMMATORY EFFECT IN RHEUMATOID ARTHRITIS
Intermittent cyclical treatment with etidronate seems to have an antiinflammatory effect in patients with rheumatoid arthritis and to slow progression of the disease, Japanese researchers report in the Journal of Rheumatology for March.
Medscape, Apr 9 (free registration required)


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Contribute

Have you written something you think our subscribers would like to read? Send it to Tina@arthritisinsight.com and maybe we'll use it in our newsletter.

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A Closing Thought
Pass The Torch

Is there a magic cutoff period when offspring become accountable for their own actions? Is there a wonderful moment when parents can become detached spectators in the lives of their children and shrug, "It's their life," and feel nothing?

When I was in my twenties, I stood in a hospital corridor waiting for doctors to put a few stitches in my son's head. I asked, "When do you stop worrying?" A nurse said, "When they get out of the accident stage." My mother just smiled faintly and said nothing.

When I was in my thirties, I sat on a little chair in a classroom and heard how one of my children talked incessantly, disrupted the class, and was headed for a career making license plates. As if to read my mind, a teacher said, "Don't worry. They all go through this stage, and then you can sit back, relax, and enjoy them." My mother listened and said nothing.

When I was in my forties, I spent a lifetime waiting for the phone to ring and the cars to come home, the front door to open. A friend said, "They're trying to find themselves. In a few years, you can stop worrying. They'll be adults."

By the time I was 50, I was sick and tired of being vulnerable. I was still worrying over my children, but there was nothing I could do about it.

I continued to anguish over their failures, be tormented by their frustrations and absorbed in their disappointments. My friends said that when my kids got married I could stop worrying and lead my own life. I wanted to believe that, but I was haunted by my mother's wan smile and her occasional, "You look pale. Are you all right? Call me the minute you get home. Are you depressed about something?"

Can it be that parents are sentenced to a lifetime of worry? Is concern for one another handed down like a torch to blaze the trail of human frailties and the fears of the unknown? Is concern a curse? Or is it a virtue that elevates us to the highest form of life?

One of my children became quite irritable recently, saying to me, "Where were you? I've been calling for three days, and no one answered. I was worried!!!"

I smiled a wan smile.

The Torch Had Been Passed!!

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Arthritis Insight Newsletter Copyright 2003

AI Staff
Page last updated on April 16, 2003