Arthritis Insight-Member Stories-Barb

Barb

I want to give a little back for all that I've gotten from this group and from this web site and wanted to add my story to all the others here. I was diagnosed with RA about 5 years ago. I had aches and pain for a couple of years before the diagnosis but explained them away to strained muscles or overwork or any number of other things. Then one day I got up and my hands were literally twice their normal size. To say it scared me would be an understatement. I went in to see my family doctor and just like the broken tv, by the time I got in there, they looked fine. It took a couple more months before he actually saw the evidence and then referred me to a Rheumatoligist. I still wouldn't believe the diagnosis. After all I was only 40. Isn't this a disease for 'old' people? Not! Well it took 6 months to get in for my first appointment and assessment. Many stressful things were going on in my life at that time. My marriage had ended. I had to find a new home with my two children, went back to school, there was a death in the family...yada yada. As everyone here knows, stress only makes RA worse and within a month of the actual diagnosis from the Rheumatologist, I could barely walk. I looked around my new home, with all those stairs and burst into tears. I was finally accepting that yes, there was something very wrong. After feeling sorry for myself for a while, and even having the disability papers already filled out and signed by my doctor, I decided to take control as best I could. I came to the ASA board. I learned as much as I could about this disease and what I could do to help myself. I went to physiotherapy, 3 times a week for 6 months and regained a lot of my strength and the use of my hands. It hasn't been easy and there was a time when I couldn't even drive. Heck I couldn't even start the car since I couldn't turn the key. But with work and diligence and perseverance and taking enough meds to make me feel like I should rattle when I walk sometimes, I have been lucky enough to come back a long way from that time. Yes I wear wrist splints and have orthotics and can't walk far. I have to make all kinds of concessions for this. My kids no longer have a mom that can run, or ride bike or even walk very far with them, but there are still many things we do together and I think that in ways, even they have grown from this. My youngest helps me do up my shoes and always walks with me when I start to lag behind. My oldest helps with the grocery shopping and lifting heavier things. They have become compassionate, caring kids and I see it in them everyday. Not only in how they help me but in how the inter-relate with others.

The main reason I am telling this story is for all the new people that sign on for answers. Those that are afraid and don't know where to turn. Yes, it is very scary at first but this is not 'the end' as I believed it was. It is the beginning of a new and different part of your life. It will have it's challenges but it can have it's rewards too. I have become a stronger person because of this. Inside, where strength counts the most. I truly believe that a positive attitude is half the battle. If you are willing to accept the circumstances and work with them, there are always good things to be found. I only hope that those that read this, can understand the meaning behind my words. I am grateful for the accomplishments I have been allowed to achieve. I am grateful for the life I have and I am grateful for the support I have received not only in daily life but here as well. There is hope after the diagnosis.