Home Featured Discussion Sex, Intimacy & Arthritis Victoria?s Not So Secrets

Victoria?s Not So Secrets
(a NEW regular feature of Arthritis Insight!)

When our lovely Tina asked me to write a column for Arthritis Insight about Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll, I mean Relationships, Dating and Sex meets the WWA (wonderful world of arthritis), my first impulse was ?Yes?.  Then I began to have doubts. I am not what you?d call your average bear when it comes to sex, relationships and dating.  Also, I am very up front, blunt, and open when discussing the subject matter.  Therefore, this serves as a warning: I am not for everyone!  If you seek and appreciate a frank, conversational and sometimes humorous discussion, this is where you can find it.   Consider my column ?Sex In The City? and ?Friends? meets ?General Hospital?.

First, allow me to introduce myself.  My name is ?Victoria? (all names have and will be changed to protect the innocent, or in my case, the not so innocent).  I was blessed with the biggest challenge of my life when I was a teen: rheumatoid arthritis.  As a 30-something adult, I now live my life relatively pain free thanks to my cocktail o? meds served up to me daily in a chilled martini glass.  However, I do suffer from physical limitations thanks to old joint damage, telltale crooked fingers, as well as mechanical limitations from bilateral hip and knee replacements.  I have become a successful woman despite all of this, work full-time as a professional (no, not THAT kind) and reside in one of the United State?s most populated states, in one of the most populated cities.  Currently, I would crown myself with the title of ?Wild woman on a rampage making up for years of lost activity with the opposite sex?.  I give really good advice, but do I practice what I preach? To be honest, no, not all the time.

Consider this recent turn of events.  My current ?Man of the Month? has quite surprisingly turned into ?The Man of Two Months?.  A few weeks ago we were in bed (yes, we are sleeping together already?do I recommend this behavior at such an early juncture? No!)  Let?s call this one Tom.  Tom asked me to get on top of him ON MY KNEES.  Well, ummmm, yeah sure, I thought.  I replied sexily. ?Not now baby, lets just enjoy this for awhile?.  At the same time I was thinking I should be saying ?Well, Tom, you see my bilateral knee and hip replacements that were surgically implanted about ten years ago because of rheumatoid arthritis won?t allow me to get into such a position so it will be the good ole? missionary position for tonight babe until we talk about this and become creative like we both are?.  Three weeks later, I am still avoiding his yearning plea for the Knee Squat.

I know, you are saying ?Victoria, doesn?t he know about your arthritis??  Well, let?s just say I am the queen of avoiding the subject of self-revelation until a certain time which changes according to the man who I am dating.  Some men I tell immediately, some not.  However, this lends itself to another article or two.

The way I told Tom about my arthritis is quite amusing.  So stay tuned for the next installment of Victoria?s Not So Secrets.

Have a Relationships, Dating or Sex question or comment for Victoria? Click here to email it. Victoria cannot answer your emails personally (well...she might if you are an incredibly handsome 30-something single male!), but will respond to as many as she can here in her column. 

'Victoria'
Page last updated on September 26, 2001