Advice for Better Living Archives

How do you tell your friends/family that you just can't handle their problems right now? That when they 'dump'; all of their issues on you it causes you more stress which equals to more pain.

How do you dump a large Catholic family who only wants to help?

You've come to the right chick.

I'm the oldest, and my younger siblings and my parents totally freaked when I started getting really sick.

The smothering was too much - my fatigue was so bad that *any* "help" was too much.

So, I set down some fairly harsh guidelines.

I bought a phone without an answering machine - I have caller ID, so I can call someone back if I'm up to it. I keep the ringer turned off. I return calls on my own time. :)

I changed my locks. My best friend and my housekeeper have keys, but that's it.

I did all this with love, but it did take them about 2 years to really adjust, and they still have their moments.

I do allow them to come with me to the Remicade infusions, and to the Rheumatologist. That makes them feel better. If my housekeeper doesn't have time, I let one of my sibs get my groceries.

And - most important - I call at least one of them every day, even if it's just a 1 minute "I'm alive" call, so they know I'm OK.

I think it would be easier for them if I weren't the oldest, but I've always been the one in charge, for family reunions, birthday parties, you name it.

Stepping down from my job as social director was the most difficult thing I've ever had to do. :(

But this *is* doable!!!

Just stick to your guns, and expect to have to explain the same things over and over and over......

Smooches,
Laura

How do you handle the dumping?

I have been taking Enbrel to treat my rheumatoid arthritis for two years with great success. I have been able to work fulltime again, and as a solo practitioner of Marriage and Family Therapy, I now have a large client load and many people depending on me as their therapist. Last week I was notified both by my pharmacy and by Immunex that Enbrel would be unavailable for an unspecified time, somewhere between a few days and 12 weeks. I was stunned and appalled. I have severe RA, and would never have taken on as many clients as I have unless I could successfully manage the disease. No one could give a satisfactory explanation for the unavailability of Enbrel, except that the demand exceeds the supply. In December 2000, I was notified that Enbrel was in limited supply, but if I went through the "enrollment process" I would be assured that sufficient supplies would be available to those in the enrollment problem. I'm wondering if you have heard this from others, and what ideas people have about dealing with this very serious issue. Thanks for your attention

I have my own personal theory about the availability of Enbrel.

More and more people are using mail in pharmacies for their medications, including myself. Before, I was getting my Enbrel, one month at a time. Now I get it 3 months at a time. And I think that translates into a roller coaster effect for the Enbrel supply. And because of limited supplies of Enbrel, when I get 3 months supply in one month, that means that 2 other peoples Enbrel is sitting in my refrigerator, having been allocated to me. And wrecks havoc on the available supply of Enbrel.

Just my theory.

Char

I'm in the same Boat!!! Only difference is I get my Enbrel monthly from the pharmacy where I trade. I am now behind two injections. I received the letter in the mail also that advised me that there is a shortage and it may be weeks before my prescription can be filled. I called the Enbrel company today checking on this situation. I explained that some time back I went through the process (like an act of Congress) of getting an Enbrel enrollment card in hopes that I would not be without my medication. Wrong!! I guess I'm not a "preferred" customer after all. Their only reply in my phone conversation with them was an apology for the delay and I should have the medication in a few weeks. I have also been on Enbrel well over two years with excellent success and I just can't believe this is happening!!!