Musings: tombs of buried griefs
Warning: may cause feelings of melancholy and depression; but may also be a path to true healing of the spirit.
Reading through the posts on any given day there’s no doubt that people suffering with a chronic illness like RA experience feelings of melancholy; dark, gloomy patches of despair that seem to draw us relentlessly into a place dominated by frustration and fear. I don’t mean to be morose, but it’s true and we can either try to run and hide, or face it and try to learn and grow stronger from the experience. This dark place is described beautifully in an excerpt from “Endymion” by John Keats. It is a place of “remotest glooms” populated by “tombs of buried griefs”. John Keats suffered terribly from a chronic illness and died at a very young age. In his words it is clear he understood how we all feel at times, trapped by circumstances beyond our control.
Excerpt from Endymion
By John Keats
“Beyond the seeming confines of the space
Made for the soul to wander in and trace
Its own existence, of remotest glooms.
Dark regions are around it, where the tombs
Of buried griefs the spirit sees, but scarce
One hour doth linger weeping, for the pierce
Of new-born woe it feels more inly smart:
And in these regions many a venom’d dart
At random flies; they are the proper home
Of every ill: the man is yet to come
Who hath not journeyed in this native hell.”
I have recently been seeking to transform my response to these dark hours from running and hiding, to facing its reality in my life and learning to emerge from the darkness each time with greater strength and endurance…to truly appreciate the warmth of sunlight on my face, erasing the whispering darkness that lurks in my mind. It is comforting for me to know that we are not alone; everyone, sooner or later, must journey “in this native hell”. I truly do believe that we can emerge each time stronger than before; but only if we stand our ground and face our feelings honestly, resisting the temptation to run and hide. Perhaps this is an uncomfortable topic for some, but I wonder if there are those willing to share how they deal with their own despair and depression. Perhaps we can learn from each other.
I hope you find peace and joy in your life,
Alan
Mary,
The fact that you can share your experiences with depression is a strong sign that those experiences have made you stronger...so many people allow it to consume them and they hide in a corner to protect those they love. My son suffered from severe depression to the point of being hospitalized several times. It was an agonizing time for all of us but he is so much better now, to the point he's no longer on any medication and doing very well. I'm encouraged by your response and certainly don't think it's a downer for the people reading it...it's encouraging to hear your story and know that you've found a way to persevere and find joy in the present moment. I hope that gift to us will lift your spirits and transform a "downer" to a source of joy and a strong sense of accomplishment.
Alan