Cordy | Arthritis Information

Tell me about your writing.......please

Linda

My writing...no, I am not published...I get so sick of that question, the more detached you are from 'being published'...the more likely you are to be published. I tend to focus more on the creative process and think the publishing will take care of itself when it is time. This is exactly what the great JK Rowling did Hey Cordy, I am out the door to a meeting at school, but I will answer your post later, when I have time to think about it.

Cordy,

You sound like you are grieving what you have lost. Keep your chin up. Hopefully, your creative side will re-emerge very soon.

You have a gift, one that I surely hope will surface again soon.

Phats

Cordelia: I'm so sorry for what you've gone through with RA, the brain fog and all. I wanted to say that you are such a positive force on this forum. I've told you this before. You are such a rich source of information, compassion, understanding and know how to state it well. Perhaps writing in a different genre - perhaps a story about your life or RA experience? Something along those lines. You are wonderful!

Hugs,

Jen

Ah you're still a great writer Cordy, all your posts read like a novel I want to keep reading and reading

Who are some of your favorite authors you would like to pattern yourself after? Anyone? Do you read a lot still? You and Hillhoney write so eloquently. A lot of posters here do. Wish I did.

Cordy,

You are a writer. You make people stop and think when you write. So many things went through my mind when I read your reply to Linda. I don't blame you for being upset. I know I am.
Gosh, you are all saying such encouraging things I think I may have to print out this thread and read it often when I feel down.

Phats...thanks for your kind words. Yes, I am grieving badly for this...and realised this is really the first time I have talked about it out loud...which has to be progress in the process.

Jen...what can I say, your words make me feel so much better, they are overwhelming lovely and just the thing I need to hear. My goal is to be a positive force, Jen. I figure if I can use all those suffering I have experienced with RA to help others, that is the best thing I can do with it. And really, Jen, I don't mind...you can say it again.

Hi Cordelia, I just read your answer to Linda and I was overwhelmed with empathy. I always have to reach deep inside and find my creative side since RA developed. It was never a problem before because my creativity was who I was. Not now, I have to search so hard to find it. Once I grab a little corner of it I can usually pull the rest of it out of the fog. When I'm designiing jewelry I draw a small piece of the work on paper and I just have to leave it, think about it, come back to it, draw another little part, and this scene takes place over and over until I have a final drawing.

Like Jen said maybe we should go in another direction. I may think further about that. I've had to adjust so many different things in my life since RA and I've been so reluctant to do it with my creative side. Maybe it's time I start thinking outside the box. You may have to do that also. We may find a whole new way of creating. Lindy

Good post Lindy! I thought the only problem with making my jewelry would be the actual stringing. WRONG! It is the thinking, designing and refining. Usually, the way I design is sit in the middle of the floor with my bins of beads around me and start playing with them on my board. I can't draw at all. I just keep working the beads on the wire until I come up with what I want. Sometimes I will set it aside for a few days, then come back with some new ideas.

I think Lindy is right, we need to find a whole new way of creating. It reminds me of Joni Eareckson. She was paralyzed at 17, a quadrapalegic. She was an artist before and after, she just had to adapt. She still painted but had to use her mouth to hold a paintbrush.

I was worried about not being able to make jewelry when found out I had RA, because of the pain and stiffness in my hands. I thought I could just push the beads around the board with nose to design. But now I will need to find a new way of getting the creative juices flowing.
Cordy.....maybe all is NOT lost. Maybe this is just a new kind of adventure, and maybe it's an even truer kind of adventure than what you could ever make up. Please don't think I'm making light of what you've lost, I'm not. I mean not even a little bit. It's huge to lose the thing that you feel identifies you. But you don't know yet what you'll get from this, and if writing is what you're supposed to do, what you're meant to do, then this "mist" you're in now will make you better. You are right now living what before you could never have imagined. Don't despair. It's not over yet. Your still just in the middle.I'm sorry I missed this post earlier. Cordy, I think you're a beautiful writer and I enjoy all of your posts, no matter if they're silly or serious.

*hugs*

Cordy,

I find you to be one of the many great people on this board. I will not name names because I will forget someone. I will take the time to thank you and all of the wonderful people that take the time and put forth the compasion to say a kind word to a stranger or a friend.

I hope you find you pasion again and believe that whatever path life takes you you will make a difference.

Jay

Some of the most powerful words ever put on paper where written by authors experiencing intense suffering...it's the fire that burns away all the fluff in our lives and allows us to see below the surface. Just write about your experiences as you're living them now. You might find it's a lot more interesting than your fictional characters and it's a great way to peel away some of the barriers that are blocking your writing...at least it works for me! As you probably know by now I'm a great fan of John Keats. He suffered terribly at the end of his life, writing poems from what he called his "posthumous" period. They are his greatest works...inspired by true suffering that stripped away the frivolities of his early life. If you can embrace what you're feeling now and express it you will find that your writing has a deeper, more substantial message that can touch other people's lives.

Go for it,

Alan

I think I'll read again about Matisse's final years. At one time his story was so inspiring to me. I need to revisit some of the artists, who through trials and tribulations made great art. I don't know much about Keats, but I'll do some research. Thanks for the tip, Alan. Also will read Joni Eareckson's book. These reads will be the start of my change.

MaryB, I also thought that stringing, attaching, using tools would be the problem, but it isn't. It's the fog, the changes in my eyes, and sometimes even my perception of how pieces work together. In the end, I get it done. It's just more difficult now. I would just like for the creativity and the execution to flow like it did before RA.

I'm taking a 3 month silversmithing course this winter. The instructor is 79 years old and has very poor eyesight but he does such wonderful work. I'd like to observe how he's compensated for the loss of his sight and how he's adapted. I love to work in silver. It's so satisfying and this class may be the boost I need to get through the fog... with a little help from my RA friends, Matisse, Keats, and some others.

Cordy, I love to read your posts. Maybe you should start a creativity thread. You can write, Mary and I will post pics of our jewelry and any other things we're working on. A lot of people would join a creativity thread. I bet Alan would. It might be an inspiration to others. I have a feeling that there are more creative people on this form that we don't know about. Let's give it some thought. Lindy

Linncn, believing that all is not lost is what keeps me going. And there is so much from my RA experience to draw on that I wouldn't have without it. I will not give up or despair. But wow, I just realised talking about this today how much I have been grieving over this issue. This dialogue has helped so much. Thank you everyone for that.

Thanks, Katie and Jay for your comments. They are much appreciated.

And Alan...well...

Cordy, I am sorry I didn't find this thread until now. I think what you are experiencing is a common human experience. I don't have RA, but everything you said rang so true for me.

I remember looking at the world as a young woman and everything seemed so black and white. My path was clear, I knew who I was and I how I was going to get to my final destination. The final destination wasn't clear, but that didn't matter. I set out with confidence and enthusiasm.

But life isn't meant to be that way, just black and white. As we grow and learn and live through life's unexpected events, we start to see the grey. As the grey envelopes us like a fog, we can't see the path so clearly, and it's easy to become frightened and to want to stop our journey. The things we thought were absolutes don't seem so absolute, and the parts of ourselves we loved and counted on seem hard to find.

But when you reach a point where you can embrace that grey fog, and allow it to help you find the depth of who you really are, you start to realize that the way you used to define yourself was not broad enough. You are much more than you ever dreamed, and capable of things far beyond your early narrow path. That's when you take off, and begin exploring all that is around you, off the beaten path. The Road Less Traveled. . .

Don't let yourself get stranded, use all that you are, all that you now know, and take off feeling the fog, using the fog. Who knows where you'll end up, but maybe the end isn't the reason you are here - it's what you experience along the way.

I feel this message board has gone through a great change just in the last few weeks. People have come out of their self protecting shells and have begun to share their lives with one another. It's wonderful! That's not easy when there is so much suffering, anger, disappoinment, and fear of the unknown concerning our diseases.There are no set standard for treatment, no black and white like Karen is referring too. Mostly greys and a lot of dark, gloomy, areas we are forced to face.

Self preservation is a common reaction of trying to take control of something that is totally uncontrollable, it's very disconcerting when that is not possible. Personal aspects of our lives are tightly held on to in fear of rejection. Our own bodies are rejecting us which causes confusion and insecurities. We're two different people inside a body which is fighting for control, the persons we used to be and the persons we have been forced to become. Our true identies somehow get lost in the scuffle.Trying to find our way back is a tremendous challenge. All of us are at different stages in that journey. Some get there earlier, some later. Regardless, change is enevitabe. Our comfort zones have become so altered it is hard to recall where we once were.

I am not a writer or eloquent with speech like the above posters but I speak from my heart. This message board gives me what I need in every aspect of my life to face the challenges head on. There is so much knowledge, personal support, empathy, laughter, and tears, I can never say thank you enough to all the wonderful people here.

Now this is what you call a ramble! not even close to Alans musings(which I love)!

Excellent Moana!

Moana, There is a new dimension of sharing on the forum. It parallels what we've been writing about. Out of the bad comes good. Our creativity has opened up a part of us that we can safely share with one another. It's the part of ourselves that is probably one of the most important aspects of our personas and we've shared. I hope that we can keep writing about our creative experiences. I've enjoyed this thread more than any other on the forum.

Why don't we just keep this as the creativity thread instead of starting a new one? Thanks MaryB for starting this.

Karen, I'm a true believer that it's the journey and not the destination. That's why Stan and I love to travel. We have so much fun and adventure just getting there.........wherever there might be.

Lindy, oh, by the way - GOOD MORNING EVERYONE.