LTD Prospect Freaking Me Out | Arthritis Information

 

Hi,

Looks like I'll be going on Long Term Disability now and I am pretty upset at the prospect. What started off today as me just going to Dr's office for a note allowing me to return to work next week turned into a request for 6-8 months of Long Term Disability. 

Just this past week, I had posted my anxiety about my 26 weeks of short term disability coming to an end. I was worried about how I was going to be able to handle getting back to work when I am still so UN-functional... 

Sooo, you would think I would feel relieved, wouldn't you?  BUT I DON'T.  I feel scared and dejected.  With the short term thing always being evaluated monthly, I felt constantly hopeful that each month would be THE month, y'know?  And this is a big one - with the STD, my job status (my territory, my accounts, customers etc.) was completely protected for me. 

Now of course my company will not be able to keep doing that.  That much I know. But I have no idea what they can and will do for me now.  Does anyone have experience with going on LTD with a company and then resuming their career with them later?

And on the social front, my friends have all kept in touch thinking I would be back at any time. I had been forced into moving (temporarily I thought) a few hours away from where I have been living in the DC area all my adult life to be closer to my famiiy when this all first went down because I was needing so much help. But now I am afraid that will begin fading away too...

This is just really a mess. I never ever imagined that something could happen to me like this that could just put my life so indefinitely on hold. How can you possibly hold on to any kind of faith or hope when there are so few answers to and so few timelines/timeframes to hold on for? Seriously?

Melly

 

Melly,  I am so sorry that you have to apply.  I can understand your feelings of loss.  Keep talking about it.

Melly, I am so sorry you got this news today and it has you so down.  It is a hard pill to swallow, I'm sure, and everyone here is impacted by the looming possibility of this.  Quite a few are already there, other's are worried it may be in their future.  I know it's scary, and it feels like your life has been snatched away from you.

But the important thing is LIFE.  You're still here, and you still have people who love you, and people whom you love, and you still have much happiness ahead of you in your future.  Even if you can't see it now. 

All of this will take some time to process, and there are still many changes ahead for you.  There are many folks on here who had been experiencing crippling pain and disability and are now feeling dramatically better, and are living full happy lives.  You will too.  Just don't give up on your life, keep yourself determined to feel better and to have a life that fulfills you.

When you find yourself going into a negative thought process, thinking about all the things you worry might happen, remind yourself to think of all the positive possibilities there are in your future.  Imagine happiness instead of sadness.  Focus on all that you have that you are grateful for, and teach yourself to turn off negative, unproductive thoughts.  The mind is a powerful thing, closely connected to our spirit, and it can bring about great happiness or great sadness in the same life circumstance.

And come here, join in on the fun upbeat discussions.  Get to know the folks here and use the support that is here for you!  It is powerful (and so are you).  You can do this, look at all you have already accomplished in your life! 

How can you possibly hold on to any kind of faith or hope when there are so few answers to and so few timelines/timeframes to hold on for? Seriously?

You hang on to faith because there is no other option.  Keep planning for the future.  Keep looking for answers.  Keep family and friends and the important things in life...you'll get it all back. 

Hugs,

Pip

So sorry to hear about this.  I too wonder what will happen if I can't work for a month, or two or longer.  I start back to work full-time (had a few weeks off between summer and fall quarter) and don't know how I will handle it. 

It is not just financial, it is the emotional part too.  I have worked very hard in my field and I can't just go out and go back in.  I have to continuously update my skills just to maintain my credentials.  I shudder to think how much catching up I would have to do.  What is so crazy about this disease if the not knowing.  Yes, I may be unable to work this month, but what about next month or the ones after that. 

I hope you are feeling much better soon!
Well, think of it this way. When you get long term disability, you know it is
steady and it will allow you to persue some other interests. You can still
socialize with all your friends. I don't think they will abandon you. You can
maybe get some things done you have been wanting to do. Fill your days
with things you love to do. I would welcome long term disability because I
would never have to worry about if I'm gonna feel good enough to go to
work from day to day. it may seem overwhelming to you right now but just
take it one day at a time and make the best of each day. Good luck. Oh, Melly, you hang onto faith and hope because it is all you have sometimes.

I think this is another level of grief for you, another loss, another change, another adjustment. Through all those we hang onto faith and hope to survive as what is happening is not our choice and it feels as if someone else has taken over the running of our lives.

Having hope allows you to take back control. No, you cannot control some of the stuff that is happening to your body and your life but you still have things you can control...your attitude, your outlook, whether you see the beauty in today or not.

This disease can bring us so much loss...but don't you give up girl. Just because you have to do LTD now, does not mean it will be remain that in the future. Meanwhile, maybe here is an opportunity for you to do some stuff you enjoy but don't get enough time to do. Look for the positive ways you could use this.

And as for the social thing...well, you make sure you keep in touch anyway and if these people are real and true friends of yours...they won't go anywhere, whether you are at work or not they will remain your friends.

This is the core of loss stuff we can experience with this disease, where our whole lives are turned upside down and we feel we have no say. Allow yourself to feel whatever you do...be angry, be sad, cry your eyes out...whatever gets you through, darl. Oh sweetie, don't lose hope.  I KNOW its hard.  I HAVE lost hope several times but somehow, I always manage to pick up the pieces, move on and slowly come to hope again.  Love and hugs You need a better hug than that, but it's all I got for ya right now! Sorry Melly. :( I think everyone's right so far. It's a grief process and you're right in the middle of it. If nothing else hun, you ALWAYS have us!! You come spill it to us when you just can't take it anymore and we'll help you plug along, okay?

Thanks so much people! There is some good advice here that is doing me good to kind of re-read and re-read until I get my positivity (if that is a word) back. I know a lot of people could probably really use and would appreciate this LTD situation. I am sure I will end up there in the long run too, but right now I am just struggling with how unteathered (hope that one IS a word cause it is exactly how I feel) I feel right now..

Thanks,

Melly  

HI Melly, I am one who is already there and have been for 7 years, I was a career woman and had a hectic social life, never thought I would cope but this disease has a way of slowing us down and I am content now, sometimes frustrated but grateful for each day with my kids, hubby and friends.  Life is short and we are doing it tough, the only advice I have for you is search for the positives and don't dwell on the negatives.  Best of luck Melly, this site really helps as unfortunately we are not alone with this dreaded disease but it sure helps to talk to people that we know understand what we are going through!!!
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