I cannot believe what my life has evolved to........I do not know whether to laugh at it all or just cry, sometimes I do both.
After mother's second knee replacement due to a cracked tibia she has returned home after being in the hospital or a nursing home for 3 months. Needless to say I am not a born skilled care giver and that is not my training....with that said I will make a brief comment that I strive for independence in individuals and do not believe in waiting hand and foot on those individuals that are capable both physically and emotionally to care for themselves......hint...hint....( I also do not peel grapes for youngsters!) lol
Mother is going through a period where she thinks I must wait on her like the staff did, plus, now she would rather wear DEPENDS or says she cannot make it to the bathroom.......SO she is going through her "manipulative "stage.
Fortunately she has PT and OT prescribed for in the home and that helps me out tremendously.
Thank goodness my sis and I are to be on vacation to visit with her grandbaby that does commercials and movies and to greet his new baby sister ANNNND .....I LOVE BABIES so that will be a wonderful time for me. CALIFORNIA here I come! ( my sis bought the tickets when she learned the due date).
This is one break I KNOW I AM IN MUCH NEED OF! WE will have help in for mother I guess......then maybe someone in a more permanent position as her insurance and finances allow.I can only do so much. I take care of the home, all the grocery and yard, laundry, ect. Get stung by bees, swell and itch and fight with RA, FIBRO and anything else I happen to get sick from.Sometimes I wonder when I will be able to have someone to take care of me.........but I don't think that is gonna happen in this lifetime.
WHat a summer! What a week!I am exhausted!
jode
Hi Jode, you are such a good daughter! There is something about 'just laying there' when you can't get up, can't reach things, or everything you want is in the other room, that drives you nuts. I was recovering from a heart operation from Dec until March, and my husband was such a dear about getting me stuff, he even went out and bought me a TV for the bedroom (I hate TV, but it did help to watch old movies and we have CD players/VD players). Water, food, pills, the telephone, hair brush, he even had to figure out how I was going to be able to brush my teeth. Showering took an hour with a chair in the tub!, all of this was so unusual for us and required so much time and energy. I was so lucky to have him. And , he NEVER complained or acted annoyed when I'd ask for something 'silly' like ice cream, etc.
I'm not sure what happens with being unable to care for yourself, and get up an get the simplist things, (we live in a two story condo, so EVERY thing is always UP if you are downstairs, or DOWn if you are up!!, .......but it gets into your brain. You don't want to be pesky, but you just need things.?!!
Good luck with this, Lynda
Dear Jode, I can't imagine what it is like for you right now. I am glad to hear that you are getting ready to go on vacation, you definately deserve it!Hi Jodie
My mother broke her hip, 7 weeks into her recovery she fell over (drunk in charge of her crutches) and broke her leg a little bit further down. Once we (the siblings had calmed down), I went to see her. We gave her a family chatting too (we were worried about her health etc but she needed to know that as much as we love her she has to take care of herself, literally). Then I spent 4 days pampering her, pedicures, leg shaving, facial, nails, walks (not far she's on crutches). I also had to give her a bit of a telling off with regards to her long term partner (15 years), but she'd been putting him through hell with her demands and tantrums... its a month since my visit and our chat and things have calmed down nicely.
That said I did have to speak to her on Monday because her 6 week check up hadnt gone well as she'd wanted (her bone is still split and if it doesnt heel she'll be back in for a bone graft) and she'd taken it out on my younger sister. Honestly, its like dealing with a child... she texted my sister to apologise so she obviously just needed a little prod to 'wind her neck in'. I love her dearly but there's no shame in not being a natural born carer... I dont have the patience for it either.