books, you’re too young, and depression | Arthritis Information

Hi
Being new, I have a gazillion questions...The big one being "why me?" Do
any of you know of any books or websites about RA/chronic illness and
why and the steps one can go through to deal with this?
Also:
When I have mentioned RA to people, many say "you are too young for
that" and then blow it off like it's the common cold. I don't think many
people really know what it is and how serious it can be. What are your
thoughts, any similar experiences?
And...
are you on antidepressants, do they help? I am soo depressed and can't
ever remember crying this much. I want to go on them so i am not a pain
in the a#$ to be around. I feel bad for my husband, family, kids, and
friends. I am no fun anymore. thoughts?
Thanks everyone
Susan

I agree that most people don't have a real understanding of RA. But who can blame them? I didn't know much about it before it got me. I can't tell you how many people have said "arthritis? you're to young to have that". But that just opens a door for me to tell them what RA really is. As best I can.

I just want to encourage you though Sushu. RA isn't always as bad as I think you're thinking it is. I take MTX and enbrel and together those meds have made me almost normal again. And believe me, that's alot. I spent several months as a useless bundle of pain that kept me crying all night and vegging out on paim meds all day. I felt the kind of guilt you describe, my poor family, stuck with me like this.

I guess everyone here can relate. It's hard to not be who you've always been. But that doesn't mean that life can't be full of joy and fun and activity and happiness and love. It only means that soem things might be different . You are still you, and you're still the person that your friends love and your kids need and uyour husband cherishes. You just need a little time to get used to this. Please feel free to ask a gazillion questions, we all have.

Linda

I've been listening to "you're too young for that" ALL MY LIFE. After a while, you just roll your eyes and go "no I'm not" I've found a couple of answers that get people #1. "No, RA is an autoimmune disease which means it's caused by my immune system not behaving the way it's supposed to, and attacking my body" That one usually leaves them going "duuuuuuuuuuhhhh" and they realize they have no idea what RA is anymore. But my FAVORITE answer to "you're too young for that" is ---- "no I'm not, and neither are you." HAH! Okay, let's start at the beginning, Susan...

Why? Well, you're just special darl. Most of us don't know the why. The JRAers have had it since they were children. Mine was there hanging around and was brought on fully by a bout of pneumonia. See pneumonia throws ones immune system like up in the air, metaphorically speaking, and the pieces of it land back down but not in the correct places. Other people just don't know why because there is not a why. Having a why would certainly be comforting but there is no clear, defining answer to that question.

Any book from Darlene Cohen may help. She is a Zen Buddhist teacher with RA. She has down loadable MP3 talks on her website and on another site I shall give you. She also has articles you can print.

http://www.audiodharma.org/talks/DarleneCohen.html

http://www.darlenecohen.net/

Also The American Arthritis Foundation has a good book just called Rheumatoid Arthritis, it is full of good basic information.

Unfortunately there is no manual for doing this disease. We are all different but similar. You will experience grief, loss and depression. Counseling can be helpful with process through all this.

You will go through the process of meds like we all do and hopefully find some that will work.

Second, when people say that too you they are thinking of osteo arthritis, breaking down and loss of cartlidge between the joints, which is a completely different disease and people who are older get some. A good trick I learned on here, is to call it RA and if people ask what it is say that it is an auto immune disease. See if that works better for you. Or you could always so no, actually it is younger people under 50 that this disease most effects.

As for the anti depressants absolutely essential in my opinion if you are that depressed. You are not super woman, darling. You have a lot on your platter, you don't have to cope with everything. Realise with AD's that it may take five or six tries to hit the right one for you as they are very personalised but it is worth hanging in there. I also take as well a drug called Epilum which is used for Epilepsy but also works as a mood disorder drug. It has been brilliant with my AD.

And know, always you can reach out to us here either through posting or PM.

Hi Susan and welcome!

I say 'death by arthrisis' that I saw posted here and was surprised at the looks I've got.

THe only book that made sense to me was the New Arthritis Breakthrough by Henry Scammell but I have heard good things about the books Cordy mentioned. Scammell's book is from an infectioul etiology tho.

Hugs,

Pip

infectious...that should read infectious!

Pip