OT: help ! it has been a long time.... | Arthritis Information

Oh geeez, it has been so long since I have dated.

There is this guy, and I know we like eachother. The initial time I met him in a pub/bar it didn't go to well and when I went to go over to his table he was gone. Fast forward to about 6 mos later. I take my mother to a Dr. Office and there he is.

Ok all you seasoned daters, how do I manage a date from this guy? It is awkward cause the only time I see him is when I take my mother in. ""I am soooo very "green at this"". It is like we are both kind of "shy" to say anything. I know I am definately interested but not sure how all this is done these days. HE always talks to me and we have great conversations and he is an excellant photographer. How oh how do we get to the next stage or do I just let it go and let him take care of it?HELP!!!!!!!!!!! I am soooooooo very greene at this!

jode

Well, darling Jode, I am a fellow dater at the age of 39. Actually my divorce was rubber stamped yesterday.

How it is done in this day and age is the internet and I can give you some sites it you want, I shall have to find them though and PM them to you. One free international one is www.connectingsingles.com.

Anyway apart from that, pertaining to this particular man, why don't you be brave and take a risk and invite him out for a cup of coffee, out somewhere would be best so the territory is neutral.

I am an adventurous, bold, self assured, risk taker so it is my natural inclination not to leave everything up to the guy but you should leave some stuff. So maybe you could do coffee and then suggest another one and maybe by then he may be comfortable enough to suggest more. I still think men like to feel like gentleman even today.

Yesterday I told the man I care about how I feel about him directly and openly. He took it rather well, actually. I expected he would freak and run away but he did not just said he wouldn't respond then, needed to go away and think about it. Which is totally him. So I do understand...very scary stuff. I do think women can take more of a lead and men like women who are direct and honest, they much prefer that to game playing even if they are shy.

PM me if you want a fellow dater to talk too, darl.

Coffee! It's always coffee!

Ask him for coffee! To continue one of the conversations...

Pip

I was in the dating scene there for a while. I divorced my first husband at age 30.....and it wasn't the easiest thing in the world to get back into it; but once I did I really had a great time.

Sounds like you and this guy have kind of hit it off already so it shouldn't be that hard to get him to have a drink with you or meet for lunch one day or something. I internet mingled for a while and a drink or lunch was always good because if it wasn't going so well it was over with fairly quickly. If we wanted to extend drinks into dinner great.....if not you can always say you have plans later and have to run.

Good Luck! Just take a chance. You really have nothing to loose....and maybe a lot to gain!

You are all so much help and I will pm you dar...thanks.

Wel lthe potential risk is that like I said, I see him when I take my mom to an appt. She has to go to him regardless unless of course we switch. He is not much of a drinker ( so I think, but does liek the Pina Colada without the alcohol)I am not much of a drinker either and NOT into the "game". Coffee or something would prob be fine. Depending on the situation I am typicall quite asssertive. But this guy has me mumbled a bit (shy grin)

Oh the net dating, I know it works cause I know people that are still together that met online.

Thanks....I will welcome all suggestions!

It seems that most guys that I know these days like women to be more assertive as to maybe starting conversations, suggesting places to go, things like that. Men like to see women who are self-confident but tend to run away when a women is over confident are acts like she is doing him a favor by being with him. Most guys don't like yappy women or at least women that talk about things that don't interest them. Try to find out yor mutual interests and work with that. I think really good advice for anyone is to "be yourself." If you be yourself and he doesn't like what he gets, then he probably isn't worth wasting your time with anyway.

Any other guys perspective you might want, just let me know. Good Luck!