OT? Pain killer access vs crime | Arthritis Information

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I guess this is sorta on-topic, sorta off-topic.  And if I've posted it before, please forgive the repeat.

I get very upset when I hear about addicts or criminals who illegally obtain prescription pain-killers because I feel like each time that happens, that's one more reason that legislators will make access harder for people who really need them.  I know Oxycontin abuse has made many drs reluctant to prescribe it and that the possibility of legal repercussions has made it even worse.  So I take it very personally when these crimes happen because I feel that when I need a stronger pain-killer in the future, it might not be available due to people like these.

The reason I bring this up today is that hubby and I ended up in a fight this morning.  He was ranting about how people could possibly still buy Martha Stewart merchandise knowing that she broke the law and got off easy.  I asked him how that was any different than him wanting to go see Rob Grill in concert (he's a singer with the Grass Roots in the 60's) when Rob was arrested this past spring for doctor-shopping for oxycontin.  Now I don't know Rob Grill personally, and I've not walked a mile in his shoes, but....

Hubby tried to tell me that Rob Grill has terrible problems with his hip and he needed the meds for pain.  I argue that if he's in that much pain, he shouldn't be working, much less touring the country and performing on stage.  I read this morning that he obtained 490 doses of oxycodone in a 60-day period.  If he in fact took all that medicine during that time, that would be 8.2 doses of oxy a day, every day.  What was even more astounding to me is that Rob is now supposedly on only aspirin.  If he really had such a strong medical need for that level of pain killers, how can he be only on aspirin and still touring?

Rob had earlier said something to the effect that this was like "stealing a few apples when your family is starving".  Except it was him not his family, he doesn't appear to have been "starving", and it isn't illegal to eat bushels of apples.

If he really did have a need for that much pain relief and wasn't getting the meds he needed, I would feel very badly for him, but that doesn't seem to be the case from what I can see.

Thoughts, anyone?

This whole anti-opiate fervor (brainwashing, really) causes real suffering.  My stepmother is dying of cancer.  She won't take opiates; she doesn't want to get "high" or get addicted.  She was offered synthetic THC (Marinol?) for nausea and vomiting from chemotherapy; she refused that too, saying it was immoral.  So, she sits dying on the couch, suffering from intense pain and nausea.

So I am no expert in any area about this story, but couldn't a doc have prescribed him something? And that does sound like a lot, 8.2 doses of oxycodone in a day?

JasmineRain - sorry to hear about your stepmother. That must be hard to see happen.

I've seen families resort to giving opiates to their elderly parents under the guise of vitamins or another med.  It's really sad to see this anti opiate mentality, especially among the elderly who can be made so much more comfortable in the final stages by a few pills a day.  

Until recently physicians have helped promote this mentality.  I've seen doctors refuse to write scripts for opiates and their deriviates even though the person was in pain and already dying.  Then you have the legal system, the FDA, and the pill cops all trying to crack down on illiegall use of opiates and it has turned into a pill circus. 

I think with the coming of the baby boomers that there will be some changes made.  The upcoming boomers want it all and that includes the latest and greatest medical treatment and the use of narcotics for pain control.  The boomers are going to have high rates of arthritis related diseases due to their early jock years and are going to demand pain control in their later years. This boomer generation is the largest one in history and will be changing the face of medical treatment and care for the better.  It's already started with newer style clinics, holistic care available to the masses, more pallative care available for the end stage of life, hospitals paying for students to attend nursing school, and many other changes.

This to shall pass;  I see the political pundit's fat fingers stirring the pill pot.  Soon they'll tire of this and go onto something else.  Lindy

 

And another thing... I love the fools who say they wish they had RA so they could have a constant supply of Vicodin.  Morons.  My "constant" supply of Vicodin is a 60-tablet script every three or four months.  Hardly enough to satisfy the cravings of an addict.

That is so true Jasmine I really liked that thanks for the laugh

since our bodies take on this intense pain over time. If anyone could

feel the full affects of a flare for 10 minutes they would never say

such a stupid thing again. Hope everybody has painfree day.

Well, I'm on my way to a pain-free day; three days of bedrest have left me with a strained neck (I tend to roam around the bed and twist up like a pretzel when I sleep).  I just popped a couple of Vicodin, and when it kicks in I'm going to tackle the mess left behind by three days of boys running wild in the house with no rules.  I am the enforcer... my oldest one says that MOM stands for "Mean Old Mom".

Jasmine, so sorry about your stepmother.  I think you're right to call it brainwashing.  It's bad enough when we are suffering, but to watch those we love suffer, I think is worse.

I think is Lindy is right about the changes to come, but then again, recent studies showing the explosion of prescription pain killer abuse is fueling fire on the other side.  I'm really afraid.  I know that even if I find the best treatments for all my conditions, it is still very likely I will have some level of pain for the rest of my life, and I want to be sure I can get some relief for that.

[QUOTE=InnerGlow]

Jasmine, so sorry about your stepmother.  I think you're right to call it brainwashing.  It's bad enough when we are suffering, but to watch those we love suffer, I think is worse.

I think is Lindy is right about the changes to come, but then again, recent studies showing the explosion of prescription pain killer abuse is fueling fire on the other side.  I'm really afraid.  I know that even if I find the best treatments for all my conditions, it is still very likely I will have some level of pain for the rest of my life, and I want to be sure I can get some relief for that.

[/QUOTE]

One of my biggest fears is that if my rheumatologist ever retires or moves, whomever I get to replace her will not be so free with the pain meds.  I can see why people sometimes hoard painkillers.  Of course, I'm not talking about a vat of Vicodin... but a bottle of 20 or so tucked away for a rainy day.  Even my rheumatologist refers to this as a "stash"... she wants her patients to always have access to pain meds if they need them; it can take a couple of months to get an appointment with her.  She always makes sure I have a "stash" of Vicodin and a Medrol dose-pak tucked away in case I need it.

I also use tramadol, though I'm out of it right now.  I have a refill available, but I keep forgetting to refill it.  Two tramadol and two tylenol usually do the trick for me, though strangely the tramadol makes me more dizzy and goofy than Vicodin.  Go figure.

Jasmine, I have a stash also.  I take Tramadol on the days that I'm not so bad and it cuts the number of Lortab that I need.  I usually try and wait 24 hours between the Lortab and Tramadol - make sure I'm not overloading myself with 2 different pain killers.  I've been off Lortab for as much as 3 days and have had no signs of dependency.  Neither one of my doctors have a problem with prescribing because they know that I don't abuse the drugs.  When I have to take more than the prescribed dose I make an appt. to see my primary care and let him know what's going on and why I've had to increase the dose.  He notes it and I've never had a problem with a refill. 

Lortabs make me a little more hyper and talkative and Tramadol makes me dull and dizzy. Can't take Tylenol but Lyrica has really helped with the pain levels and I've had to use much less pain medication since starting Lyrica.  Lindy  

I guess I just do not understand what all the fuss is about people needing
pain meds regardless of wheather they are taking it to feed an addiction
or really need it for true physical pain. Maybe I'm crazy to think this way
but if you really think about it, if that person is not endangering another
individual or themselves, what is wrong with it? What is the big deal to all
of those that feel it is a big deal? It is the same arguement as maryjane.
I've never seen someone come in and detox from that stuff. I'm still
going to try it before I die, lol. I do know that a drug seeking patient is
kind of a pain because they take up so much of my nursing time with
their constant need for more pain meds. But I as a nurse do not have any
affect on the patients need for a change. That patient is probably always
going to be an addict and as long as he/she does not harm anyone else,
I'm ok with it and he can have as much as he wants as far as I'm
concerned as long as he stays breathing on my shift. I've come to the
point in my own professional life, that I don't make a difference and am
not going to make anyone a recovering oxy addict no matter what I do or
say in the day or two that I have them as my patient. Other countries
handle this problem quite well and the good old USA, makes such a huge
deal about it. I say, keep your stash, use it when you need to and do
remember that you will need more and more because you will build a
tolerance to it. I know my opinion on this sounds crazy but I have been
dealing with this issue a lot at work lately and I finally decided that I'm
not going to fight people over this at work. There are many good doctors
out there that do a great job with pain control. Also, the government
monitors doctors and watches their prescribing practices and doctors can
be fined and can lose their licences if they are found to be handing the
oxy out like candy. No doctor wants to be responsible for making an
addict. This is just my 2 cents. Anyone?I'm always afraid my doc will think I'm an addict when I ask for a script.  I got my last one 2 months ago, for 30 vicodin, I've had three flares in that same time period, still I'm nervous about asking for more when I go in on Monday.  Isn't that ridiculous???  I can't help it though.Linncn. I had a hysterectomy and bladder surgery 2 years ago. My gyno
gave me 20 Vicodin, exactly 3.5 days worth of pain meds. I called on day
four to get a refill and was given the run around and made to feel like a
junkie. He finally with much persuasion agreed to give me 10 more vicodin
which lasted 5 doses. The next 4 weeks were hell on earth and I cried
because the bladder pain was so bad. I will never go back to him although
he did a great job on the surgery. His pain control protocol was beyond
inhumane. I think about that time in my life and it angers me beyond words
that a doctor could do that to a surgical patient. I wanted to share that with
you because I can totally relate to how they can make you feel so guilty and
people with RA, need pain meds. If that ever happened to me again, I will be
more vocal about it.

Society in general and the pill cops are the ones causing more problems than the pill seeking addicts. 

Lori, like you said I think they cause more problems for the hospitals, nursing staff, and doctors.  I personally don't care if they seek medication.  

When I was nursing I never expected to make a difference in a pill seeking addict's life.  To them, I just stood between them and their next pill.  Like you, I didn't want them to die on my shift. 

I've seen the same patient over and over in the hospital and the cost is astronomical for these visits to the ER.  They come in complaining of severe back pain, migraine, etc.  The ERs run tests to determine if there are problems.  They need to cover their butts.  These tests are all unnecessary and are expensive. Many times there's no insurance or the insurance won't pay for this visit and tests because it isn't life threatening.  This is the 2nd tier problem with pill addicts seeking meds, charges that are never paid.

That being said we're back to the basic problem that was discussed earlier.  The pill seeking addict garners all the publicity either by being a famous addict or by a research study that's manipulated to show what the pill cops want it to show. That in turn fuels the pill cops and the FDA to make laws that are unreasonable and can affect all of us on this forum, and every other person who has pain and needs pain medication to function in society. 

I don't expect the laws to be tightened up, if anything I think they'll become less restrictive because of the influx of the baby boomers demanding treatment and pain control. 

This latest study is going to fuel the fires but I don't expect any fallout from it.  I'd like to see the study broken down by age, gender, economics, geography, and diagnoses  I think that would give you a more honest study result .  Lindy  

Thanks, Lori.  I should say too though, that my doctor has never made me feel like that.  It's in my own head. 

Linda, please don't feel guilty when you ask for pain meds. If you need them ask for them. 

Any RD should prescribe pain meds to his patients or refer you to a pain management specialist. 

I guess I've been lucky, because both my RD and primary care prescribe pain meds for me.  If one is out of town, etc. the other prescibes.  They've never left me without pain control.  Even when I had my TKR the surgeon prescribed 50 pain pills and I talked to my primary about it. He said that if I needed additional pain control that he would prescribe because surgeons are known to undermedicate pain.  Fortunately, I didn't need more and still have half of them left.

Don't be afraid to ask and give them a complete description of why you need pain.  When they ask you what your pain number is - tell them the number when the pain is at it's worst, not the present pain level, unless that's the worst.  Lindy

I would be interested to hear how other countries around the world
handle addiction. How does England and Australia handle it? I know that
Holland has a program for heroin addicts. Maybe we should have walk in,
registered Methadone clinics. Why don't more people try Methadone. It
is such a top notch pain med. I just have these questions and I do
wonder why this is not more addressed. Our hospital has become a
revolving door for a large group of patients that come in with the same
complaint, always. Each time, they run them through thousands of
dollars of tests, find nothing, put them on a Fentanyl drip for the time
they are there. The minute you try to wean them onto pills, they become
upset, and very hard to deal with. The nurses do not want to care for
them because they are so obnoxious. The sad thing is that their pain is
very real.   Many of them leave AMA because the oxy just doesn't do what
Fentanyl does. (imagine that) Then, two days later, they are back again.
At any given time, about a third of our beds are taken up by these people
and I do blame the doctors for letting this go on. I say, just let them
come in and get their weeks worth of drugs and they WILL stay away.
This may sound cold and uncaring but I'm tired of caring for these
people.

 Lori~ I was under the impression that street drugs like meth, crack, and cocaine were the most sought after drugs for the abusers. How can they be so addicted to drugs like morphine, fentanyl, oxycontin, and other prescription drugs? Where did this addiction start? From a dr or on the streets? Can you even get these drugs on the street?

I understand your frustration, someone like that is taking up a bed and precious time that a critical care patient has to wait for.

 

I know a guy who's addicted to pain meds.  He started taking Oxycontin several years ago after a bad car accident.  He suffered severe head trauma among other things, docs didn't expect him to survive.  Anyway, the guy lies about everything, steals from his friends, has back stabbed just about everyone he knows and he's becoming increasingly violent.  A couple of weeks ago he decked a women and put a chair through my sisters window.  It's hard to say how much of his personality is due to his drug/alcohol addiction or his brain injury.  His whole family except one brother is pretty crazy too, so maybe it's just in him to be this way.  He didn't use to be though.

See and my hubby being a drug and alcohol couns.  does monitor my pain meds, but he talked to the doctor and tried to insist that I have a sleeping pill when it is the pain that keeps me awake.  I am so glad he had the conversation with the doctor, b/c in that conversation he asked...so when are you going to stop perscribing pain pills to my wife.  The doctor replied...I have patients that because of the pain level need pain pills for the rest of their lives...I am hoping to get the arthritis under control, so your wife doesn't need them as much...but I cannot guarentee that she will ever be off pain meds.

I still write down what I take each day.  That also makes it easier to track inflamation, and flares.  I am also in a quandry(which hubby just got)  I cannot take asprin or NSAIDS or I will end up in the hospital.  So, occasionally I will take Tylenol during the day, but that is my only option.  Thank God I have a very high pain tolerence, 'cause I sure could take a vicodin every six hours and feel like a normal person, but I never do.  Even after knee surgery...I tried to slow them down as quickly as I could. 

Rheumatologists dispense pain medication?  I thought they just did the DMARDS, steroids, biologics part, not pain medication.  I thought that the steroids were to control the pain through reducing inflammation until a DMARDS or a biologic kicked in.  Perhaps I misunderstood what the rheumatogist is allowed to treat, as I never knew they dispensed pain medication.  My Rheumatologist prescribes pain meds...

LynnSo does mine.Well no wonder my new family practitioner was shocked when I finally asked for pain medication.  I had been doing this on sheer willpower.  Flexeril and Ultram let me at least either 1) relax and function; 2) sleep.  Mine does too.  Any doctor can prescribe pain meds.  Many are reluctant to.

I also keep a log book of all meds taken (including vitamins/fish oil/antihistamines/etc), along with pain levels, other physical ills, mood, weather, and activities so that I can see if a pattern is developing.  Very useful. So far I never use any pain meds except the occasional ibuprofen, but I still
feel sort of weird and uncomfortable when I ask for a Dexidrine refill for my
ADD, and I use maybe 7 of those a month (I'm supposed to be able to have
about 2 a day), so I can relate to being weirded out by having to ask for pain
meds.

Cathy, a Rheumatologist is a board certified Internist who has had an additional fellowship training of 2-4 years in Rheumatology.  Once they pass the Rheumy boards they can be board certified in Rheumatology.  They treat over one hundred arthritis conditions, the assorted diseases caused by the arthritic conditions, and also treat other diseases of the muscle and joints. 

All M.D.'s can write RXs for pain medications.  Also some PA's can write RXs for pain medications, depends on their training. 

Hi,

Someone asked about how it works in the UK? Well I'm not actually sure what vicodin is (it's probably called something different here...) so I can't really comment... What I can say is that I have never had any problem getting pain killers apart from the fact that some of them don't agre with me so I had to try loads to find the right combination... SOme of the meds are given with strict monitoring - eg a short prescription and then you have to go back to see the Dr for more rather than getting a repeat. I have Etoricoxib (anti-inflammatory, cox-2 inhibitor) on repeat plus co-dydramol and tramadol (50mg ordinary as well as the modified release ones) on repeat. Repeat means I can take the slip in to the Dr surgery and leave it, go backin a couple of days and pick up my prescrition without having to see the Dr. I tried so many painkillers and never felt like I was being denied them, when I ended up in hosp one time the first thing they did was give me a pethidine shot so that they could examine me properly, then I had anti-inflammatories pa (via your anus) so I could have biger doses without stomach damage and they gave me df118's (which I know are sought by drug seekers) with no problems... I think maybe they look at your records and make a judgement?

Someone asked about why addicts want these drugs - if you're a heroin addict any form of opiate is going to help you to some extent, people addicted to cocain or amphetamines etc often use opiates to counter the effects. Many people get addicted to opiate meds by accident which is why Dr's are a bit careful about prescribing them - eg if you go in every other week saying you lost your prescription and need another or if you're always going to different Dr's or hospitals to get prescriptions etc. 

KT

My RD is also certified in pain management.  He believes in treating the whole person.  I feel very lucky to have found him.

I have never had any trouble with my doctors prescribing pain meds.  After my right TKR  I had a pilonidal abscess and they couldn't figure out where the pain was coming from.  My gp prescribed sustained release morphine, tramadol and tylenol with codiene to take in a pattern for the pain. I did that for about 2 weeks as I had my knee replacement and the surgery for the pilonidal abscess about 10 days apart.  I couldn't sit or lay down or stand comfortably, talk about a pain in the A$$

My pain these days is usually controlled by 2 tylenol with 30 of codiene once or twice a day.  I dont need any of the big guns yet.  My gp calls and gets an 'authority' from the govt and then prescribes 180 tylenol with codiene with 5 repeats.  I can only get a repeat every 30 days but never need it that often.  I don't need to go back to the gp until the repeats are all used up, I just take it to the chemist and pick it up later in the day.  They can only prescribe 20 at a time without getting an authority.

Certain chemist's (drug stores) are issued special licenses to dispense methadone.  Addicts have to get a script (with an authority) from their doctor every 2 weeks (they have to be seen not just prescribed over the phone) and they take it to the chemist and get their daily dose for the 2 weeks until their next visit to the doctor.   They have to show up at the chemist at a certain time every day to get their dose.  The govt keeps a sharp eye on doctor shoppers because benzos and opiates all have to be authorized before they can be prescribed.  That means that the govt has a record of each time those drugs are prescribed and issued.  When an addict shops and the govt body realises that the scripts are a bit overdone, each of the doctors that has been prescribing gets a letter notifying them that  the patient has been shopping and they are not to be given any more scripts.

To prescribe opiates, the doctor has to apply for permission to prescribe the dose for the specific patient and justify the need for it. Only one doctor can have that permission at any given time.  If you change doctors the old doctor has to sign off permission and the new doctor has to apply. 

Most prescriptions that are regular and have to be filled monthly can only be filled once in 30 days (unless say, you are going away and need to get a month in advance.) 

I know there are those that abuse the system but they seem to be quite regulated here in Aus.  I don't worry so much about getting my 180 pills every 5-6 weeks, I'm more conscious of showing up with a script for ANOTHER new med every few months.  I have a really wonderful chemist and she knows me well.  She has AS and we can chat about all the RA drugs and how we are going.  She loooves her enbrel.

Thanks for your information. It is nice to learn how other countries handle
this problem. I wish the USA would get on the stick and do something
constructive about this problem. There are far too many people in prison
for addiction problems. It really would be easier on the whole system if we
had clinics people could go to to get their supply. Pammy, I really like some of the things that the drs have to do in order to prescribe pain meds.  Now how does it work if you have to go to the ER and they prescribe you pain meds?  Does your regular dr have to do those or are ER Drs different?  I like that only one dr has the ability to write scripts for pain meds at one time.. [QUOTE=kelsaysmommy]Pammy, I really like some of the things that the drs have to do in order to prescribe pain meds.  Now how does it work if you have to go to the ER and they prescribe you pain meds?  Does your regular dr have to do those or are ER Drs different?  I like that only one dr has the ability to write scripts for pain meds at one time.. [/QUOTE]

I've had the misfortune of having to go to the ER for injuries (I'm not very coordinated).  I'll tell them that I have vicodin for RA and I don't need any more.  If I run out before my next rheumatologist visit, I'll just call her office and tell them that I had an injury and used more vicodin than usual.  I also have the ER report sent to my regular doctor and the rheumatologist.  Sometimes the ER will want to give me something stronger than Vicodin... like last year when I got a scratched cornea.  They gave me Percocet.  That BARELY touched the pain... and this is from someone who gets by with NO morphine drip after surgery (just 2 vicodin and a Coca-cola in the recovery room [QUOTE=Linncn]Well, I was all nervous to ask for more vicodin, you know, thinking my doc would think I'm a junkie.  But he had no problem with it, gave me 90 with a refill.  I guess he doesn't think I was faking it.  He never has either, it's just my own weirdness.  After reading this thread though, i guess it's a weirdness many of us share.

all ER visits are recorded because hospitals are run by the govt.  They can give a dose but they don't give you much in the way of meds to take with you, they tell you to visit your GP the next day for any further treatment.  Then they fax or mail all treatment and med details to your GP.  It still all has to be registered through medicare so its all in the system.

Here in Illinois, pseudoephedrine ("Sudafed", a decongestant) is tightly controlled because it's commonly used to make methamphetamine.  You have to show your ID and sign a log book at the pharmacy to get some, and you're only allowed a small amount (I think it ends up being enough for one person for a week).  So imagine if you and your family are all sick with a cold.  Mom and dad need the adult stuff; the kids need the kid stuff.  You will end up running to the pharmacy almost every day!  While we do have phenylephrine in over-the-counter cold preparations now, many people do not find it to be as effective as pseudoephedrine.  It's great for raising blood pressure and making you jittery, but for me anyway, it does not clear a snotty nose.

It's easier to get Vicodin than it is to get a box of Sudafed.  Last time my husband was at the dentist, he had some extractions, and I told the dentist I wanted him to have Vicodin.  We had been through this once before and we ended up having to call the dentist to get vicodin after the anesthetic shots wore off.  I can't just give him mine, because he's subject to random drug screens (he works at a big pharma) and he could get fired if he pops positive and he doesn't have a script.  Anyway, I went to fill the script for him (at a pharmacy I'd never been to before, so they didn't know me) while he was still at the dentist's office.  I did not have to show an ID or anything.  And I'm obviously not the person listed on the script. But God forbid I get a snotty nose and can't find my ID...

One time several years ago I sprained my back on a Saturday.  I called my doctor to see if he wanted me to go to the ER or just wait until Monday to see him.  He told me to go ahead and take some Vicodin if the husband or I had any in the house.  LOL - neither of us had any (I didn't have RA at the time) so he had to call in a script for me (along with Flexeril and a medrol dosepak).  Besides, I told him, I could get fired if I tested positive for Vicodin and didn't have a legal current script.
I think you are allowed 2 at a time Jas...Yea its jacked up isnt it?  Just last week my husband had to show his medicare card and drivers license to buy some Demazin (like sudafed) for his flu.  There must be something going on because this was a first.  Seems like they hit areas in random checks. [QUOTE=kelsaysmommy]I think you are allowed 2 at a time Jas...Yea its jacked up isnt it?  [/QUOTE]

Yea, when they first started this crap, it was two packages no matter what size.  So you could get two bottles of 60 Sudafed tablets,  or two packages of cough/cold meds.  I always like to take the gelcaps which combine pseudoephedrine and guaifenesein (expectorant that helps thin the snots so you can blow them out of your nose).  Well, the gelcaps are only sold in boxes of 12.  When you take 2 at a time (recommended dose), a box only lasts a day and a half.  So I would have to go every couple of days to get those.  Now I stock up on them; I buy two packages whenever I'm picking up other prescriptions.  That way I have a stash, so that I don't have to worry about finding an open pharmacy if I need them late at night or on the weekend.  I think that's illegal too... I can't remember how much you're allowed to have in your house at one time, but it's not much.  What do large familes with allergy problems do?  It's a crock.

Wow, sorry to start the thread and then disappear (a couple of bad pain days and busy days), but all the responses have been very interesting.

Just to be clear, my original post wasn't intended to address treating addictions and what the laws should be (prison doesn't solve addiction!).  And there is definitely plenty of blame to go to the politicians, and to the doctors.  But with the laws and the political climate what they are, I do feel like those who break the law to feed their addiction are creating a problem for those of us who have need of these medications.

Anyway, I have been fortunate that (so far) my rheumy has prescribed my pain meds, and although he hasn't always prescribed what I would have liked, he has tried to manage my pain as best he can.  When I visit my other doctors (PCP, ortho, etc), I always tell them what I am on and they leave all my pain meds to my rheumy to manage.

I have been amazed that the pharmacy will give all sorts of my meds to my husband without asking who he is.  Occasionally they ask our address or phone number (which anyone could find out), but he clearly doesn't look like a Suzanne.
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