Will Rogers says: Chewing gum is the only ingredient of our national life of which no one knows of what it is made. We know that sawdust makes our breakfast food, we know that tomato cans constitute automobile bodies, we know that old secondhand newspapers make our 15-dollar shoes, we know that cotton makes our all-wool suits, but no one knows yet what constitutes a mouthfull of chewing gum. Maybe it's better that way.
If the other fellow sells cheaper than you, it is called 'dumping." "Course, if you sell cheaper than him, that's 'mass production".
I have a solution to the problem of traffic and that is to raise the speed limit to 75 mph, and make everybody go that fast, or be arrested. That would eliminate the slow, and kill off the fast.
Another way to solve the traffic problems of this country is to pass a law that only paid-for cars be allowed to use the highways. That would turn our boulevards into children's playbrounds overnight.
From 'Chicken Run',
Nick:What's a hen's favorite movie Actor?
Fetcher:I give up.
Nick:Gregory Peck, peck peck.
I heard if Hillary wins she will use the family Boble to take her Oath. Only has 7 commandments !Thats Bible folksTheA man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the
first class section of an airplane. The woman sneezed,
took out a tissue, gently wiped her nose, and then visibly
shuddered for ten to fifteen seconds. The man went back to his reading. A few minutes later, the
woman sneezed again, took a tissue, wiped her nose, and
then shuddered violently once more. Assuming that the
woman might have a cold, the man was still curious about
the shuddering. A few more minutes passed when the woman sneezed yet
again. As before she took a tissue, wiped her nose, her
body shaking even more than before. Unable to restrain his curiosity, the man turned to the
woman and said, "I couldn't help but notice that you've
sneezed three times, wiped your nose and then shuddered
violently. Are you ok?" "I am sorry if I disturbed you, I have a very rare medical condition; whenever I sneeze I have an orgasm." The man, more than a bit embarrassed, was still curious.
"I have never heard of that condition before," he said.
"Are you taking anything for it?" The woman nodded, "Pepper...."
Everyone always tells me exercise is the best thing in the world. Well, I found a perfect routine for me: