Hi all, thanks for all your great contributions
Ginger: I'm not feeling well. I've got to see a doctor. Rocky: Which doctor? Giner: NO, I'd perefer one with a medical license.
Will Rogers said, : No voter in the world ever voted for nothing; in some way he has been convinced that he is to get something for his vote. His vote is all that our Constitution gives him, and it goes to the highest bidder. He jumps the way his bread looks like it's buttered the thickest.
Please post more jokes, folks!!
Man driving down road. HOW TO TELL IF YOUR FEET STINK!
Yep I Think They Do! What Do You Do All Day? this page to another woman.
An elderly Italian man lived alone in the country. He wanted to
dig his tomato garden but it was very hard work and he was old
and tired. His only son, Vincenzo, who used to help him, was in
prison.
The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his
predicament
Dear Vincenzo,
Ima feela pretty bad 'causa looks like I wona be able to planta
my tomato garden dis year. Ima getting old. Ifa you were here, my
troubles, she woulda be over. I know you woulda diga da garden fo
me.
Love, U Papa
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
Dear Papa,
I'd do anything for you Papa, except dig up that garden. That's
where I buried the bodies.
Love, Vinnie
At 4:00 am the next morning, FBI and local police arrived and dug
up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to
the old man and left.
The same day the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Papa,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do
under the circumstances.
Love, Vinnie
A man came home from work and found his three
children outside, still
in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty
food boxes and wrappers
strewn all around the front yard.
The door of his wife's car was open, as was
the front door to the house
and there was no sign of the dog. Proceeding
Into the entry, he found
an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked
over, and the throw rug was
wadded against one wall.
In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a
cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys
and various items of clothing.
In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink,
breakfast food was spilled on the
counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog
food was spilled on the floor,
a broken glass lay under the table, and a
small pile of sand was spread
by the back door.
He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping ove r
toys and more piles of
clothes,looking for his wife. He was worried
she might be ill, or that
something serious had happened.
He was met with a small trickle of water as it
made its way out the bathroom door.
As he peered inside he found wet towels,
scummy soap and more toys
strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a
heap and toothpaste had been
smeared over the mirror and walls.
As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife
still curled up in the bed
In her pajamas, reading a novel. She looked up
at him, smiled, and asked how his day went.
He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What
happened here today?"
She again smiled and answered, "You know every
day when you come home from work and
you ask me what in the world I do all day?"
"Yes," was his incredulous reply.
She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it."
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