Hey guys...
I don't expect anybody to have an answer for this but I need to vent to
people who understand.
You all know that I teach science. I love it...absolutely love it. I love the
age--teenagers have the ability to really surprise you. BUT....I can slowly
see myself becoming the type of teacher I never wanted to be. I have
always been very hands on and active with the kids. For instance--I just
finished planning a canoeing and water ecology field trip for the biology
students next month. This is a fairly low income school--Title 1 for those
that are involved in education. The kids have never been to camp much
less canoed (spelling?) so this is going to be so much fun. However, I am
already dreading it. I know that I am giong to have to take painkillers
before and after and I will be dragging for the rest of the week. I find
myself giving more and more lecture notes and less interactive activities. I
just don't have the physical ability to keep up anymore. I know that I
won't be able to teach forever-it is just to draining. Plus, the workload
that comes home is overwhelming. Plus, morale if very low right now at
the building due to the No Child Left Behind act. How on earth are we
ever going to get a 100% pass rate? Can you name any job where the
expections are 100%? I want to ask those legislatiors...do 100% of your
bills get passed? Do doctors save 100% of their patients? OK..done with
that little gripe.
I just don't know what else I can do. My degree is a BS in biology with a
minor in education. I don't have my masters which knocks out any other
job in the science field. I have thought about going back to school but it
is just Nathan and I. Money would be a factor but I know I would get aid.
But--If I don't have the energy to teach how am I going to learn? I also
can't afford to take a pay cut if I enter a new field at the bottom of the
totem pole. There is a degree called Healthcare Management offered at
VA tech. This is basically a job where you help people find the resources
they need to manage illnesses. It sounds like something I would like but it
is a two year program.
AARRGGHH...ok, I am done. I have spent that last few days just going
over this stuff in my head. The problem is I love teaching. My favorite kids
are the "punk" kids that nobody else really likes. I could go to an "easier"
school where they don't have all the social issues but it wouldn't be me.
And a school may be "easier" in one way but they will have other issues as
well. When do you throw it in and say you just can't do it?
PS..still no word on the Orencia approval yet. The nurse called on Friday
and said that the dr.'s office did everything necessary---Anthem is just
slow to respond. She did say that if I called on Monday maybe it would
speed things up. It seems that Orencia and Rituxen are harder to get
approved..Go figure.
Hey Rock. I guess you have a lot to think about, and a really big, life changing decision to make. Gotta be scary to make such a big change, commit to 2 years of school and a career change. How old is your boy?
Well, I know you didn't ask for answers and if you did, I still wouldn't have one for ya. I guess I mostly just wanted you to know that I'm in your corner
Linda
Rebecca, you sound like such a wonderful, caring teacher. The kind of teacher that really connects with her students, and makes a difference in their lives.
Do you think you could get approval from your district for a teaching assistant to help with the tasks that are too demanding physically? If not, maybe you can get some students to help, create a special "club" or group that could do things that would save your energy. Or if not students, perhaps parents. A carefully worded letter explaining all the plans you have for your class, and your need for assistance might do it. I know it is a difficult district for parental support, but you just might be surprised. There may be someone just waiting to be asked, who will benefit from the opportunity to help.
Good luck to you. I hope you get your med approval on Monday and begin treatment, so you'll be feeling better very soon.
Karen
My goodness you do have a handful to deal with i know you
didn't ask for answer and i couldn't answer these questions for
you anyway, but i just wanted to let you know you can use me
for a sound board anytime, sometimes it's easier to write it down just
get some of it out of your head at least i think so.
I WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK WITH THESE DICISIONS
AND WHAT EVER YOU CHOOSE MAKES YOU HAPPY.
HAVE A NICE EVENINGThanks for the kind words.
I do have a paraprofessional in the room. She is a great help. However,
she doesn't have a science background. I have even thought about taking
a few classes and trying to change my endorsement. I like civics and that
is taught in 8th grade so I would sill have my hormonally challenged kids.
It's all the labs that kill me right now. It is impossible to sit down on lab
days---teenagers with glass and chemicals=major stress! They have a
zillion questions. We are also a full inclusion county so there are no
pullouts for special education. These students tend to second-guess
everything so they are constantly raising their hands. Usually by the end
of the first semester I have convinced them that they can do these
activites and need to trust themselves. And that it is ok to mess up-that
is part of science. Otherwise, we would have the answer to everything by
now. Until then...whew, the hands are a waving! I have limited myself
to one lab a week. Last week we were outside using GPS units to locate
trees and then they had to identify them using a field guide. Once
again--awesome day but sooo tiring. I did recruit alot of help for this
one so I was able to stay in one place and not hike the campus but still
exhausitng.
Really,I just need to find some rich and handsome single parent to marry.
Then everything would be solved. Until then, I am going to hold out hope
the the orencia will be the magic solution. I think I might call about the
health program tomorrow. I don't know what I am going to do but I first
need to have the information so I can be better informed. I am only 31 so
I could go back to school and be out and still be fairly young. I am not
sure about the money issue though. My son will be 4 next month and I
also don't want to leave him with sitters while I try to get this other
degree. That isn't fair to him.
Ok... I am talking myself in circles now. Thanks for letting me get this
out in writing. Talking about it to a litte boy and two cats doesn't help to
much.
Rock, I was just saying on another thread that my husband and I need a wife. You'd have to do my laundry and stuff, but ya know, we're pretty cool, we'll help. Interested?
I have to warn you though, we do come with a 15 year old daughter who knows way more than we do about everything.
Goodness. I don't know what to say really.....You're my kinda teacher though! You probably have NO CLUE how many kids still think of you. Believe me, we do think of teachers like you. :)
My only suggestion is one that it seems like you've already done. Get help in doing things. But you know, you can make the KIDS do it too. Like setting up the labs and cleaning them up, etc etc. No one lets teenagers touch stuff anymore, so they feel SO important and special when teachers give them abilities and responsibilities.(sp)
I remember my AP Biology class. I LOVED it, and I almost failed it. How's that for a good teacher? LOL I loved it because we had control of everything. We set up every lab ourselves, and preformed them, and then cleaned up. ALWAYS. I only almost failed because well........quite frankly, I suck at biology.....LOL But I still ENJOYED IT and I do think I learned a lot. Even if it wasn't all biology lessons. Clases aren't always about what the book tells you to teach. Oh here I am preaching now.......sorry!!!
Just don't be afraid to hand over more tasks and responsibilities to the kids, you'd be surprised at how quickly and efficently they pick it up and just do it.
Good luck to you!!!
Hey Rebecca,
I don't see how any teacher who loves what they do and WORRIES about becoming the kind of teacher they would never want to be could actually have that happen to them.
I am sorry that I have absolutely no advice for you on how to get through this obstacle but I do hope that you at least recognize that becoming a bad teacher won't be possible for you no matter what modifications you may end up possibly having to make. It is all in the heart...
Thank you for even being a teacher in the first place by the way!
Regards,
Melly
Rebecca, I dont have much advice for you but I did just want to say that from what you are telling us you are a GREAT teacher. Not many people would willingly teach either in a school that has a lot of special ed kids or in a classroom specifically for special ed kids. You are really makin a difference in these kids lives and I admire you for that. Is there a way that you can slowly take additional classes and is there a way you are able to do them online? How old is your son? (im not sure if you mentioned it and I just missed it so sorry if I did)Hi Rebecca,
As others have said, I think that you feeling your becoming a bad teacher means that you're not. If you truly were, this wouldn't even concern you. I agree with another comment posted that it may be best to wait to make any decisions until you get the approval for this drug. Which I hope comes sooner than later. The medicine may make you feel good enough to get back to teaching the way you want. Teaching without RA isn't an easy job especially in a low income environment and with the No Child Left Behind act. But even with these issues going against you, I can tell that you are a very caring teacher and these kids need that. Regardless of what your physical limitations may be, they need teachers and people that care and let them know that. And I feel that your physical limitations may actually be a good thing for these kids to see. Not that RA is a good thing but these kids need to see someone in a position physically worse than them that keeps going, cares and still does whatever they can do for them. It will hopefully teach them to be caring, compassionate individuals. Accepting of people's differences, physical or otherwise. And give them a sense that regardless of the obstacles in their way, they can achieve and do what they want. Thank you for being one of those teachers that I hope my daughter, Isabel (2 yrs old) has one day.
As for college courses, I did online courses so I wouldn't have to leave Isabel with a sitter. And if it comes to the point where this is what you decide to do, that may be a good option for you.