I am just wondering how many people here live alone, have never been married and have no children?
It just hit me all the sudden for some reason that with RA affecting only 1% of the population and unmarried childless women in their 40s supposedly coming in even under 1/2 of 1% of the total population that I may be in a very very very lonely club....
But I am hoping not, so if there is anyone in my same boat, please speak up...I could really use the support or would be glad to even participate in brainstorming sessions on how with this disease to go back about trying to build some sort of family unit of my own one day still - instead of doing what I am doing now which is basically living with my sisters family as the old maid "sick" aunt.
HELP!
Melly
Melly, although I'm not part of that club (I have no children of my own by choice, but I am in my second marriage), I'd be happy to visit over here because it shouldn't be a lonely club!
I remember when my first marriage was ending, and I had already been dealing with the fibro, thinking that no one was going to want an obese, sickly woman, with other issues as well. I remember telling all my friends and family how it would take me 10 years at least to find someone. My therapist assured me that she had another client with fibro who found someone wonderful and recently got married and that gave me some hope. So I put my ad on an internet dating site, and literally 12 hours later (I kid you not), my now-second husband answered. I have been eating my words ever since.
BTW, for anyone interested in internet dating, I highly, highly recommend "I can't believe I'm buying this book: A commonsense guide to internet dating" by Evan Marc Katz...very helpful and very entertaining.
Now there's certainly some right-place, right-time stuff that went on there for me, but just because you have health issues, doesn't mean you can't have a social life. When you first look at some of the on-line ads, you see how many of them list things like skiing and rock-climbing and hiking as hobbies, but if you look closer, you'll find plenty of people who are happy with lower-energy things, like just watching a video at home and having take-out food. And finding the people who will care about you whether or not you're sick, means you're not in for a terrible surprise later...because as my hubby says, we may all get sick one day.
I don't know what your energy and pain levels are like, but are you involved in any social clubs or activities? How about other on-line message boards?
Hi Melly, I know a lot of lonely people. It doesn't seem to be so much about having family, kids or not, etc., it is just that some people feel alone and lonely. My neighbor lost her husband 3 years ago and she is devestated, she has a 'family', lives with one of her sons, but she is alone when he is gone and she just sits and knits! I feel so sorry for her and phone her and take her to my exercise class sometimes, but she is still lonely. Lynda OK, I should not be posting here since together my husband and I have 6 kids. BUT, one of my sisters is single, never married, no kids and is now in her mid forties and very happy that way. I love her and my kids adore her. She has always been there for me and I would be for her.