SEX & RA | Arthritis Information

Ah yes, the forbidden topic. Sort of like the Lambada.

I wish we could make a poll so that people could post anonymously, but hey, it's the Internet. We don't know each other in real life and probably never will.

Myself, my sex drive has dropped, largely due to emotional reasons. Don't feel "sexy." Don't like propping myself up on my achy wrists (yes, I know...there are other positions). Just plain tired sometimes. Can't seem to summon the mood.

C'mon, you dirty-minded people. How has RA affected your sex lives?

Much the same! I know it is an easy way out but it is also the truth.Tiredness, is definitely a problem with this issue.

And yes, guys, I do imagine the wrists would be a problem. For me as a woman, what makes me tired is being moved through a lot of different positions. So exhausting.

No David, RA does not exactly make one feel sexy more like a blimp monster actually.

And then bring in depression and grief...yuk. Or pain and swelling and stiffness...not good. I think it can have a huge effect.

But since I am single, I'd just be grateful for any actually. Thats our Cordy always a sense of humor.

All I'm saying is thank goodness hubby is on blood pressure medsGlad I could lighten your day, Moana! With RA, you have to maintain some sort of sense of humor otherwise I think we'd all be crying the whole time.

I have and it is hard, but you have to keep doing that b/c it is important to you and your partner. I just learned how important it is.

Shelly I have to agree. It is important but we can get cought up in the discomfort and or depression and loose sight. It can happen to our partner just as easlily. I probably wouldn't have said I noticed that much of a difference if you would have asked me a month ago (before starting enbrel). My husband is VERY sensitive to my pain and discomfort and is very protective of me.

BUT, now that I am feeling about 90% better than I had been, it did have an impact. I can tell in the, um, frequency I am so happy for you Mary. I think that we should try at every time we feel a little better...it makes our partners feel so loved and appreciated. Sex is a powerful thing in a relationship, and although it is probably the furthest from my mind it is important for our relationship. I would like what Mary describes, but right now it is good enough. It kills my knees and hips. So we have come up with positions for the badder days. Sometimes I hurt for a few days after. But I dont tell my partner that. He works hard and long hours and men so much NEED it more than us women. Its natures way I think.Congrats Mary. I wish I had something that was helping me like that. There is a huge difference for me now, and it's a negative one. wrists, positions, stamina, feeling like an ugly blimp, you name it. I loved sex, and now dread it..................

Hi All,

I think the most important thing is to keep talking about it. I talk to my partner about how I'm feeling of course but when the moment happens when we're getting into it

OK I'm stopping now as I'm blushing!

< =text/>_popupControl(); Ok here I go. I am not the one in my house with the issue of having sex. HE IS. I am at that stage where I want it NOW in life due to my age lol. He is afraid he wil hurt me. So...my secret...I take a couple of breakthru pain meds right before he gets home from work lol.

Connie

I would say that the RA (and fibro) have had a little impact on my sex life, but thankfully not too bad. There are sometimes when I'm just not enjoying it as much as I want because of the pain and fatigue, but more often it's just that certain movements hurt, but I end up pushing myself anyways. I think my drive is naturally higher than hubby's, so maybe this has just evened us out.

But what I find weird is I think from our "dryness" from the disease and my combo of meds, with lube (hey its the truth), that its like a frictional fire at first for me, then its okay, then afterwards its horrible stinging for about a half hour. I think its the meds. Good thing I love the guy and love sex! LOL

So... far the last month or so, it has been hubby who is not wanting it. I think it is due to him not getting enough sleep. He goes to sleep around 3am and wakes up at 6am. He ONLY gets 3hrs sleep and then works 8hrs and comes home and crashes on the couch. Then he gets in a power nap and is up until 3am. If he would just go to sleep at a decent time, and get enough sleep I know he will feel more like doing something.

I do what I am to do. but just feel bad I cannot do what I use to do. It really annoys me more than it does him.

Hubby and I always have sex in our walk in shower. I get in first so the hot water eases my joints and I keep K-Y there, lol.SEXX? Just another four letter word! LOL Sorry, just feeling a bit silly. I believe the medications, pain, anxiety, tiredness (THE FATIGUE), a general lack of enthusiasm for the rest of our lives does affect our sex life. I'm off the prednisone and I think that is helping in some ways, but it was rather a lift in other ways. There are warnings about this subject on the literature. Oh thanks!, just what we need, not wanting to be intimate with our partners. Shelly is so right it is important to them! The RA interfers with so much in our lives!! It really does stink having this disease. Thanks for bringing this up though. LyndaEnbrel has definitely given me my life back. The fatigue before was generally the libido-killer. Since on Enbrel I was able to give up both plaquenil and MTX and now I can't get enough. Someone mentioned the dryness thing which I can commiserate with although I have not experience the "frictional fire".

My husband and I get along SO MUCH BETTER now.

No sex drive here.....I'm just SO flipping tired from about now (3:45) until I can crawl in bed at night. THe first thing I think of in the morning is, " I can't wait til I can go to bed again..."

I did tell my husband about the pain scale thing someone ( sorry, can't remember who) on here recommended. So now instead of him saying, " Ok...what hurts today?" ( in a VERY sarcastic voice!) he's been asking me "How's the pain level today." This week it's been about a 6-7 every night. HOWEVER...it still has not stopped him from asking for sex every single day. I asked him if it would matter if I said my pain was a 10...was he still going to ask for sex? "Yep....every day..."

I wish I could "fake" being in the mood for it---he gets mad when I'm not in the mood...he gets mad if I try and fake being in the mood. If I could make myself want it, I would.

Sorry if I'm sounding really whiney. I don't know what the deal is, but the last couple of days my pain has increased, and I'm just not used to it. I have "new" pain...elbows, shoulders and knees which have NEVER hurt before?? And I feel like I'm coming down with the flu by the end of the day--sore throat, achy body...but I'm pretty good first thing in the morning?? Not sure what the deal is?

ok..rant over

ive just got to contend with a prolapsed bladder now and waiting for an op
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