OT - A Plea to Smokers | Arthritis Information

 

I'm moved to write to all the smokers on this board, because I have issues I am trying to deal with regarding smoking.  I've never even touched a cigarette to my lips, but I have serious issues I struggle to resolve.

I grew up with smoking being a way of life.  Almost everyone around me smoked.  My parents smoked, my friends parents smoked, my grandmother smoked, my aunts and uncles smoked.  It was the way of the world, and the accepted, if not the expected thing.  Cigarettes danced happily across my TV screen.  James Dean, Humphrey Bogart, Bette Davis all made smoking look cool and sexy.  My grandmother actually started smoking because her doctor recommended it to calm her nerves.

I hated it.  I always had ear infections, sinus problems, coughs.  My mom said it was because I had allergies.  Poor Karen, she has such trouble with her sinuses. . .  I developed asthma.

At school they started talking about the dangers of smoking.  I saw films of monkeys smoking, and specially-made machines that smoked and measured nicotine.  The idea that it was unhealthy started to spread.  I got scared - are my parents going to die????  I came home and begged my parents to stop smoking.  They smiled and said, "Don't worry honey.  We've known people who smoke all our lives, and they lived to be old men and women.  This is our one vice, we enjoy it, and it helps us deal with stress."

I used to steal their cigs and hide them, or use a pin and poke holes in them so they wouldn't draw.  I cut out the warnings from the sides of the cigarette packets, painted them red with nail polish and put them all over the house - in the refrigerator, on top of the toilet paper, in their shoes.  They just got mildly annoyed and kept on smoking.

My grandmother was the first to fall.  Got up one morning, sat down at her kitchen table, lit her cigarette, and apparently didn't feel right, so she put it out, went and layed down on her bed and died of a massive coronary.  She was 64 years old.  My dad found her by breaking into her 2nd floor apartment by using a ladder and climbing through the window.  I was 9 years old.  I was standing in the hallway of her apartment building as he opened up the door and sobbing, told us she was gone.

Next, my dad developed chest pains and was put in the hospital.  He was diagnosed with heart disease.  He was 39.  He stopped smoking, started exercising, watching what he ate, and took medication.  He was doing well.  My mom kept right on smoking.

Next my aunt developed severe emphysema.  Fought for every breath.  She stopped smoking, and so did my uncle.  My mom kept on smoking.

Next to fall was my best friend's mother.  She had a heart attack and died at the age of 49.  Her husband and my mom kept on smoking.

My mother told me that she wasn't worried, her heart and lungs check out just fine.  She kept on smoking.

My dad started having more chest pains, went to a cardiologist and was told he needed bypass surgery.  On the eve of his surgery we got a call from my other aunt - her husband had just died of a massive heart attack.  Doctors said the only thing they could attribute his death to was cigarette smoking, because otherwise he was in excellent shape, very physically fit, excellent cholesteral level, a farmer who was never sick a day in his life and just dropped dead suddenly without warning.

My dad's surgery went well and he recovered well.  He still wasn't smoking.  He struggled with his weight, but thank god, he was doing very well.  My mom kept on smoking.

Next came my wedding day.  The most wonderful day of my life, but an extremely difficult day for my father.  He viewed it as losing his little girl.  As I celebrated my extreme joy at finding the happiness I always dreamed of, my dad started smoking again.  He kept on smoking - it wasn't a one day thing.  He used to hide it from me, because he knew it would hurt me.  He would sneak his cigarette to my mother to hold when I would walk up.

My dad needed a second by-pass operation.  This time the arteries were in much worse shape, it was hard to find good veins to use.  They had to do 5 by passes.  He and my mom kept on smoking.  My mom used to hold a cigarette in her hand while she yelled at him for eating cookies, because they weren't good for him.  He died when he was only 68.  My youngest child was only 7 and barely remembers him.

My mom developed breast cancer shortly after my dad's death.  It had spread to one lymph gland before it was found, so she needed chemo after her mastectomy.  She handled her treatments very well, had a great attitude about life, and didn't let a little cancer slow her down.  She used to drag her chemo IV with her as she went outside at the cancer center to stand with the other smokers to light up.  She got mad at me because I made the comment that I wanted to get her and my aunt to stop smoking.  Seems I didn't love her for who she is - I wanted to change her.

My mother was almost happy to learn that my oldest son was now a smoker.  They "bonded" as they would stand outside and smoke and talk about how much I disapproved of their smoking.  My son admired my mother's determination to be who and what she wanted to be.

My mom stopped coming to visit me because she had to go outside to smoke.  I fixed her a place on the porch to sit with an ashtray, but it was just too much hassle.  It didn't mean she doesn't love me, she just would prefer to have me visit her from now on.

My youngest son started smoking too, all his friends smoke down at the theatre.  "What's the big deal, I can stop when I'm older.  This is just for right now, I won't do it forever."

Next my mom developed skin cancer, which required multiple radiation treatments.  She started chain smoking now, because life was just getting her down.  "I just don't get it, it's one thing after another," she said.

Talked to my mom on the phone yesterday.  She has to go for a CAT scan next week, because it seems when they were doing a follow-up on her this week at the cancer center they discovered some "fuzzy spots" on one of her lungs in an x-ray. . .

Sorry to unload this long story, but it's a lot to deal with.  Please, as you put those little tubes of death to your lips, think about the impact this will have on your kids - not just now, but in the future.  Is it really worth it?

Thanks for your message, HH.  I'm sorry this has touched your life as it has. 

I'm happy to say that I quit smoking 6 years ago.  This is my second try at being a non smoker.  I had 10 years in as a non smoker before  and  while ending my first marriage, went back to smoking.  When I met my second husband, I was a smoker, but he really disliked it and asked me many times to please quit for the  sake of my health.  It took a few tries, but I'm now confident that I will never smoke again.

Hugs to you Hill.  It took a lot to put it out there.

I am just starting (day two) of chantix in hopes to kick the smoking habit for good.  when I was younger I felt like you did.  And my girls feel the same. 

Such a darn hard habit to break.  But I am trying this time.   I haven't told anyone I don't want them to get their hopes up incase I fail.  But I am sure determined to try.

I am so sorry you have had so much heart ache.  Funny you posted this.  My BF smokes way too much.  I would just like him to cut back.  His sis called about an hour ago.  She has to go in for a biopsy because they think she has lung cancer.  I pray not but maybe he will consider at least cutting back and then maybe trying this chantix too.

Thanks for the posting. I quit smoking 2.5 years ago when i was first diagnosed. Have not had a single drag since and I never plan to ever again! I sent your story to my mom, dad, sister and aunt in hopes that they might quit too, so thank you very much for sharing

Hi Lisa!  I also am on the Chantix protocol and intend to be done with smoking.  I have never quit before but do not smoke in my home.  Thanks for giving me even more reason to be done.

 

My mother smoked for over 50 years and died of raging small cell lung
cancer. It wasn't pretty but at least it was quick. She died about 3 months
after her first symptoms showed up. May aunt also died of small cell lung
cancer caused by smoking.

I had quit smoking 7 years before and it was by far the hardest thing I ever
did but I felt so good about myself after and not a day goes by I don't thank
myself for it. I used the gum for 51 weeks and then I used the patch to get
off the gum. Yes, it felt sort of silly, but I figured I would do whatever it
took, and it worked.

Honey, sorry to hear your story. I empathise with you totally, I have never put a smoke to my lips. My mother, father, stepfather, brother, sister, aunts, uncles, grandparents all smoke/smoked. The grandparents died of cancer, my grandmother very painfully, it wont be long for my uncle and despite having chronic asthma my sister wont stop and my brother who has an enlarged heart stopped smoking cigarettes only to start smoking cigars (thinking these were better)... There is no telling them. They know the pro's and con's and dont care. 

As everyone knows its an addiction... my mother does the alcohol too. When they visit they all smoke outside. When I visit, they all smoke outside or even in the depths of winter have the windows/big sliding door open. You cant change people because you know better. You cant make people do what you want either... no matter what the best intentions.

You have to accept that its their lives and they will live it how they want to... we live in a world of many freedoms even if some of the vices will exacerbate illness and even death.

Hugs because I truly know how you feel.

Karen *hugs* I'm sorry hun. My gramma is the same way.

 

I do have one suggestion for you though - print this up and leave it somewhere, that each of the boys will find and read it. And don't say a word. Just let them find it and see how you really feel, and how it breaks your heart. You never know, it may do something. Maybe not tomorrow, but maybe one day sooner rather than later.

< =text/>_popupControl(); ((((hugs)))) Karen.  As most everyone knows...my beloved husband has COPD which is now of course making us quit smoking.  Our girls couldnt be happier.  I do not have our quit date yet as he is going thru work and getting the Chantix.  We think next Friday is his registration, exam, and medical history appointment.  Since his work paying for his Chantix...that leaves us in a position to afford it for me and our PCP will gladly write the script for me.  I acutally can not wait to quit.  I am tired of being sick..tired of contributing to my kids being sick...and of course I want my beloved husband around for a very long time. 

My father passed away 4 years ago in Sept. from lung cancer (he was a heavy smoker for many many years) that metasized to brain cancer. 

I am so glad to hear about the folks who are going to try to quit.  I pray that you will stick to it and see it through to successfully quitting.  Most of the folks that are here already have a chronic, horrid disease, or love someone who does.  You certainly don't need more illness - especially if it can be prevented.

Thank you for listening, and thank you for understanding.  Those of us who love smokers just want you to love us more than you love the nicotine!

I also have a huge issue with smokers. Up until 5 years ago I was a heavy smoker and so was my husband. I was also a severe asthmatic but nothing stopped me smoking,except the biggest asthma attack I have ever had. I had the flu, was taking heaps of over the counter cold meds plus asthma puffer an antibiotics, PLUS DOZENS OF CIGARETTES DAILY. Well one freezing cold winter night my life as it was ended. I stopped breathing,was airlifted to the Adelaide hospital and put on life support. Over the next ten days doctors tried to revive me 3 times. Eventually on the 11th day I began my new life. 3 months of therapy and learning how to walk etc all over I then went home. My children were then 15, 13, and 10. The doctors all told my husband that the smoking attributed to the attack but he still to this day thinks it was the medicine I was taking. My husband would drive to the hospital each day smoking in the car with the kids and coming to see  me reaking of smoke. I was so sad, I couldnt hug or kiss him as my lung were very weak. My husband still today smokes, even though he saw went I went through. I have had such a hard time dealing with it. As his excuse is that he is what he is and I married him a smoker so thats what he is. My daughter and youngest son will never put a cigarette in their mouths. but my middle son started smoking and works with my husband on weekends both smoking together. I have had to try to deal with this but it is so hard. DONT THEY CARE ABOUT ME. If I had to see my husband suffer like I have I would never smoke again. I know he loves me. But cigarettes kill more than just lives.I have never smoked but I do volunteer work with three women who smoke every hour or so.  One of them recently went on Chantix to stop because she was having trouble breathing.  Except for a few days of nausea (well worth it, she said) it was an effortless way for her to quit.  Unfortuntately she stopped the medication after only one month because she thought she didn't need it anymore and a month later started to get the urge to smoke again.  She's back on Chantix,  is doing well and will stay on it for three months this time to make sure it sticks.  What struck me is how the other women who were still smoking became a little annoyed with her and were generally unsupportive.  They know it's a wonderful thing that our friend is quitting, yet because they're not doing it, and may feel guilty, they're not going to help her.  Very sad.  I guess my point is, to those of you who are trying to quit, good luck to you, and don't be surprised if you don't get the support you need.  How about posting an OT here?  Many of us would be cheering you on.  You're doing a wonderful thing for yourself and your family and friends.  Jesse8839361.3516550926

Thanks Karen for writing what I've wanted to write for a long time.  I quit cold turkey in 1985 and haven't had a cigarette since.  I was a surgical nurse who smoked (many do or I should say did) and I saw the effects of smoking everyday.  I continued to smoke because I thought I was invincible.  After I left nursing I worked for a health insurance company and one of my programs that I managed was a wellness and prevention program for our employees and insureds.  I had to quit smoking if I wanted to be the manager of the program.  You can't be responsible for prevention and wellness and smoke. Since the program was my baby, I quit and never looked back.  When I stopped smoking it  was one of the most difficult things I've ever done, but I managed it.  I had tons of support, all of my friends and coworkers helped.   

I'd cheer on and help anyone who wanted to stop smoking.  Lindy   

 

Just for information purposes.  I  went to chantix website.  There is a place there where you can download and print off an applacation.  Fill it out take it to your doc and let your doc fill out his part and write a script.  There is also another ap that you can fill out for the financial help.  It can take the $ off even if you have insurance.  Or it can actually be free too.  They will send the script right to your doc and he will call you when it comes in.

It is one of the drugs listed that they will help with for those without insurance and even those with insurance who don't really make a ton of money.

I quit smoking 2 and 1/2 years ago.  I got sent to a smoking cessation therapy that was done by a hypnotist.  It was a birthday present from my mom.  Since I stopped, the reality of the damage from second handsmoke has hit home.  My mom who is not a smoker was diagnosed last year with lung cancer.

Midnnitestich - I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. :( I hope she beats it!

It's been 7 months since my husband and I stopped smoking. I tried to quit a number of times.  I tried the nicotine patches; they gave me a horrible  rash... I had all these red itchy square shaped rashes whereever I'd placed a patch. Next I'd tried Zyban, but after 4 days, I had difficulty breathing. Finally I decided that perhaps we should try accupunture.  Both of us had only one treatment. It worked instantly for my husband and he's not had a single craving these past 7 months. AS for me, I still experience the craving every so often. Often the urge comes at the strangest time... I'm taking my meds and suddenly I think of having a cigarette. Go figure! 

To everyone who has quit... CONGRATULATIONS! You've beaten one of the strongest addictions!

 

 

Karen great topic. RA affects our lives and our families. SMOKING affects every families lives in one way or another.

I quit for the seamingly 100th time in Jan. and have done realy well. Okay I have put on a few lbs but overall I am much better off. I also have not been sick since I quit???

I wish all of those who are quiting the best of luck and my only advise is: Do not have even just one! I would quit for a month then have one as a celabration then celabrate again next week then once a day. So try with all your mental strength to resist those urges and Good Luck!!!

Congrats to all of those who have quit smoking.  I hope to be in that line someday soon.Bumping this forward to add to the discussion.  I originally posted this in October. Hi Karen, I'm so sorry about your mother.  Your story was my story, everyone smoked when I was growing up, except me.  I started to smoke when I went to college and quit some 20 some years later.  Hope this thread helps.  The RA journey is difficult enough, why add some extra baggage by smoking.  It complicates the course of the disease and the treatment.  Thanks again for writing this.  LindyI'm so sorry to hear about your mom.

Having had my bout with lymphoma, I have had an incredible urge to throttle some of the young people I see smoking on the street. Grab 'em by the collar and say "Listen up you stupid idiot. You really don't want to go through one-tenth I've what I've been through and I had it easy." The problem is that I see too many older people who still think they are smarter than everyone else puffing like chimneys. Alas age doesn't always bring wisdom.
I'm sorry about your Mom.I'm so sorry to hear about your Mom. Is there anything the docs can do? And she's still smoking. Hmm... I'm sorry it hurts you so. I wish there was something we could do. *hugs*

I am sorry for your losses...      And your mom's battle.

babs102008-04-06 17:29:07Karen, thats a sad story, I hope it will enourage smokers to give it up.  Your mom is in my prayers.Well, Tomorrow I have 6 months smoke free and am loving it!Listen, So Sorry about your Mom, I loss my mom at age 64 from heart failure which I totally contribute it to the Smokes. I feel so bad for the people that are so in DENIAL about this horrible habit. I am an ex- smoker for 35 yrs. best thing I ever did!!!!!!!!!You know Lev, you're going to die of MURDER if you keep talking sh*t like you do. One of these days, you're gonna say the wrong damn thing to the wrong damn person. Seems that AGE doesn't always teach someone when to shut the hell up.



Karen, I'm so sorry you're still struggling with this. Keep your head high and don't hesitate to reach out to those closest to you. *hugs* Ignore what the losers say, I know that YOU know in your heart what is right. We love you. :)
Thank you everyone for your kind words and thoughts about my mom.  I appreciate them, but honestly I did not bring this forward for that.  I just thought it was good to remind smokers of the impact their smoking can have on others who love them.  Ooooh Arriscolwell, Man you ARE dumb...... the opening page which greets all guest, is HOSTED on our COX COMMUNICATIONS SERVER - which is registered in my b/fs user name.

Once you click "enter" why not clicking "properties" of THAT page, you dim wit. It's Spruz.com! WHAT A SHOCKER!!

Holy crap, if ANYONE even knows half of what you're talking about, they can see what a complete moron you've just shown yourself to be.

That was  the funniest post I have EVER seen you post! I really needed a good belly laugh. :) Thanks!
Hey, Hi hillhoney, I hope your Mum sees the light, and smoking is definitely antisocial, I had enough of inhaling everybodies second hand smoke over the years and do not miss it a bit.  I understand that it is hard to give up, like any addiction, it takes time and patience and commitment.

Hi Katie, as for Levlarry, I also get fed up of his silly little posts that I am sure most people just switch off when he's around.  He is like an itch you can't scratch, ignore him, its the only was to get rid of psychos.  Regards Janie.  PS now he will post and tell me to start being christian, blah blah blah.
This was a good post to post.
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