today my leg was feeling a whole lot better, and i could walk normally, no crutches. my friend called to invite me to see a play with her tomorrow, so i asked my mom, and she said that i couldn't go because i might hurt my leg.... (sitting in a chair watching a play is very hurtful appearently) my mom was writing something on this board saying that i will probably post a rant about... so here i am posting about it. i was just wandering how many people side with me, and how many with my mom?
Oh honey I am sure you must be upset. But my guess is your mom only has your best interest at heart. Right or wrong fair or unfair us mom's do what we think is best for our children at the time.
And although you don't want to hear this (lord knows I never wanted to hear it) but you will understand when you become a parent.
Best of luck to you. And I hope like heck your leg continues to not hurt anymore.
Oh boy, I would not touch that one with a ten foot post! I don't know what the circumstances are or were, but I am sure that she loves you and wants to protect you from harm. I am sorry that you are sad OOPS!Let me ask you a quick question. Were you smarter and wiser when you were 2 or 4? Were you wiser when you were 4 or 8? Were you smarter and wiser at 8 or 16? How old is Mom?
LEV
Lev...that was a great response...can I steal that one? Yep, he has a point, and it is not fair that you have this something on your leg, but hopefully in time you can run around like you usually do.
I don't think she's hit 16 yet!!! [QUOTE=levlarry]Mom is always right.
Let me ask you a quick question. Were you smarter and wiser when you were 2 or 4? Were you wiser when you were 4 or 8? Were you smarter and wiser at 8 or 16? How old is Mom?
LEV
[/QUOTE]
Nice answer!
But I do think it was probably the best idea for you not to be out and about. Sure, you'd probably be sitting MOST of the time, but there's the getting to and from, walking to the bathroom, getting food etc etc. It all takes a toll on your body after a while. And it sure would SUCK to be out trying to have fun like that, and have your leg suddenly start hurting again. Just ride it out for a few more days, and hopefully this whole thing will be behind you.
I know you're frustrated and tired of not getting to do stuff, but look at it this way - you can "not do stuff" for a few more days, until we know that you really ARE better, then go on back to your normal fun life. OOORRRR ignore the good advice of staying home, make your leg hurt even more, and spend even LONGER "not doing stuff" - Shew!
Sometimes it can be really hard to see all of the "what might happen's" but they can be really important. This is one of those times, and that's because what's going on with your leg is sort of a special case. Know what I mean??
Don't let it get you down hun, there will be MILLIONS more times for you to enjoy yourself with your friends. I PROMISE.
When my kids are asking to do something that I am against or unsure of, one key factor in my decision making is how they present their request, and how they discuss the issue and behave.
If they can come to me and discuss something maturely and calmly, and can provide reasonable and acceptable solutions for my concerns, I can tell that they have given the issue a lot of thought, and care about the things they know are important to me, with regard to safety, behavior, etc. That's the first thing I look for.
Second I look at their attitude - are they demanding, are they coping an attitude before they come to me, or are they acting in a mature manner. If they get pissy or pouty, or stomp off, there is no way I will ever be convinced about this request, and it will also have a big impact on how I look at future requests.
Third, I want to know if they are willing to compromise. To work within my requirements for whatever the situation is. If they are, I am.
Fourth - HONESTY is the most important thing - always. I need to be able to trust what they tell me about where they are going, who they will be with, how they are getting there, and when they will be home.
When my kids learned the proper way to discuss issues, I was much more willing to reconsider my position, and to listen to their thoughts and feelings about things. And I can often offer compromises to what they are requesting.
BUT - this is really important -- sometimes, they have to accept that the answer is "No". It won't always be "No", but sometimes there are reasons they may not even understand about why I am saying "No", so they have to accept it when I do.
It's a really hard thing to be a teen, and I remember that from ancient times when I was one. But it is hard to be a parent too. Just try to talk to each other with open ears and an open heart. You'll work through this and lots of other things that come up, kiddo!
Hi SD! Aren't you glad you asked
It's tough, honey, to be young and want to go out with your friends, but to have this problem that sort of keeps you down for a while. But know that your Mom has your health to be concerned with and she just wants you to get well, and have no set-backs. I bet she would loved to have let you go. It sounds like a fun thing to do. But, as your Mom, it's kind of her job to make sure you are safe. Hopefully, it won't be long and you'll be out doing all the fun things you love.
Maybe you could ask her if you could have your friend over to watch movies or something.
Feel better soon. Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing, okay?
Hugs, Nini
Wow! Thanks guys! I didn't know she had posted this; this is getting a little out of control.
She's sleeping in today. She didn't seem mad at bedtime last night - maybe she had already seen some of these replies!
< =text/>_popupControl(); Ok sweetie...I am going to post this from a MOM's point of view who HAS a daughter your age (she is 12) with JRA and is learning to allow her daughter to tell her mom how she feels and have a part of her treatment and all that stuff.
Danielle and I argue all the time about the same thing you posted about. I want her to stay in bed...I want her to not do anything if she is having a flare...I want to hold her and cuddle her and love on her and make it all go away and she never ever EVER hurts again. Your mom wants the same thing for YOU! But, being a mom means sometimes...because we love you guys soooooooooo much...we go way out there on the loving and caring thing and it drives you guys nuts.
Help your mom to understand how YOU feel on a day you think you can go play. I know you want to go out there and play like everyone else does and just be like everyone else but SOMETIMES (not ALL the time) you just can't and then you get all mad and stuff. Maybe get a cool watch that your mom can help you set an alarm on and agree with your mom that you will play for a certain amount of time and then take a break.
I totally understand how you feel about all of this and that you want to be able to say to your mom...HEY...it's MY BODY....LISTEN TO ME!!! But...as Lev said...your mom is older and she has more experience and you have to learn to work WITH your mom on all of this. You are a very SMART young lady and your mom is a very SMART mom (and very loving and caring) and you guys CAN work together on this. Both of you can learn from each other about RA and all that stuff. Danielle and I learn together all the time about it.
If you want and your mom approves...I will hook you up with Danielle. She would love to talk to another girl her age about all of this. She has many of the same feelings that you do. I have a kids with jra website that is done by kids just for kids with jra. I will PM it to your mom first as she has to look over any websites you go to. Part of that protecting your kids thing we talked about before.
You can always send me a PM (only if your mom says it is ok) and talk to me anytime. You can also talk with Danielle that way. But if your mom approves I will give you Danielle's email and her AIM screen name.
I know this is hard hunny...but hang in there. You are a SUPER kid with a SUPER mom who only has your best interests at heart.
Sorry for the confusion, but the daughter posting is not the daughter with jra.
She was the subject of a recent OT drama, and was moved by everyone's concern (and how much "fun" everybody is LOL!) and wanted to post.
Grammaskittles - I really wish our jra daughters were the same age - that would be awesome (something good under the circumstances).
I think the jra kid has strep again. Bummer, huh? Fever (creeping up all day to a current 101.8) and headache. No other symptoms.