OT,medical assistance Rant removed, | Arthritis Information

Keep in mind I have RA, in pain all the time, getting worse, no medical coverage ( I make no money, my mother an dsister support me)...ok....

My daughter (age 19, ADD, and allergic to millk again since she became pregnant) has signed up for college to become a teacher. ......and she became pregnant, due date in late June. I am thrilled, I will not be an old hag when I become a grandma.

My daughter was able to sign up for temporary assistance. She will need a breast pump though as she will be breast feeding my grandbaby...( although twins run in his side of the family) Breast pumps are very expensive....if anyone knows of a used one let me know by PM.

I have to say this is one of the most happy times of my life! SHe will only need the assistance for a short period and will get 6 weeks off for her delivery....and I am designated baby sitter and care giver! I am lovin' it!

jode

jodejjr39393.3440393519

Jode...I am so sorry about your experience. I wish it would have been better and more pleasant. How frustrating that our society is all about getting instead of giving back. I know that your daughter will do fine, and she will enjoy being a teacher. She is using the system just as it was supposed to be used. To go on for short term help, and then to be able to make her way. She will do this with your help.

Thank you...it just brings tears to my eyes.....truly. SHe just needs it for the short term like you stated...the reasonit was intended...not to LIVE on, to help her through the bit of a snag in her life.

Jode

I will learn to keep my mouth shut......

jodejjr39393.3508333333

I will learn to keep my mouth shut......

jodejjr39393.3616666667

maybe these people lost their jobs, maybe they are there to help a child or a parent..ibviously poor people aren't the only ones "oops" happen to.

I have nice clothes and nice fake jewelry, doesn't mean I bought it recently and doesn't mean I can afford it today..it also doesn't mean that I don't need help.

I'm sorry you had a tough experience but it doesn't look like the oher women at the office were the only ones "judging"

Yes, because unfortunately we have allowed a society of youngsters/oldsters that do feel that they are "owed" a certain life style. There is not a lot of pride in actually working from the ground up anymore...and it makes me sad and mad. I guess it is more frustrating when people continue to have children just to have that lifestyle and they dress better than we do, on our taxes.

I completely understand your frustration...probably not a good idea to write a book about it, because it would not be widely accepted.

I would hope in my "Pollyanna" mind that no one would take advantage and this is helping people for short term, but I don't know.

< =text/>_popupControl();

Jode…wow…I really want to ask you how you can consider a baby an oops? I am not trying to be mean or start anything here, it’s just that I feel no baby is an oops and I’m really afraid that if you think like that, you would treat the baby differently than if your daughter had been married when she became pregnant. Even though you say you won’t, sometimes our subconscious can really make us do things we never thought we would do. I became pregnant very young and although I adopted out my daughter, I never considered her an oops…I still considered her a gift from God. A gift not meant for me, but one meant for someone else.

Yes, fraud is very real and happens more than we want it to in the social programs system. I tell you what tho, some of those people will get caught and their benefits cut off. Depending on what state you live in, you are allowed to work a certain amount of hours and still receive benefits. And once again depending on what state you live in, your benefits can be pretty good. The “welfare checks” of days past are very difficult to come by in this day and age. Trust me on this one. When we lived in IL and Danny lost his job we applied for some monetary assistance just to see us thru (ends up we didn’t need it because his job up here came thru in the nick of time) on top of the benefits we were already getting. Let me tell ya, getting monetary benefits is next to impossible. I will also tell you that we were getting food assistance and the amount of assistance we got for a family of four…I never spent the entire amount in one month. That is how much we received. Many people work and have only health and food assistance and can still get the bling etc. because of income levels in place to qualify for benefits. In the state of WI, the levels that are set for income for benefits cap out pretty high. That is because we are such a union state and wages are higher up here.

You would look down on me Jode lol. Even tho we no longer are in need of the benefits from social programs, 2 out of 3 of us girls in my house wear bling. My 15 year old daughter and I wear Baby Phat shoes. COMFY!!! One pair were a gift, and one pair was bought on sale (yes I am a cheep ole momma and would only get them on sale lol) for 30 bucks. Most of our clothes come from our local thrift shop also. I can find some really nice things in there too. You would never know our clothes come from a thrift store. I even have brand new looking designer labels from our thrift store. Plus I get my semi-formal wear from there every year for Danny’s company Christmas party. But you would never know to look at it. I buy most of my very expensive sports wear there too. I have many Packers and Badgers jerseys, sweats, sweatshirts, etc. I had nice clothes when I came up from AZ back to IL and we had to apply for some help to get by until we were on our feet. My girls have bling. Lots of FAKE bling lol. Most of that stuff you saw is FAKE.

Bottom line, there is fraud going on. But you can’t judge everyone you saw as committing an act of fraud. You can’t because you do not know their circumstances. If you do not have any health insurance or qualify for state health insurance, I am very sorry to hear that. But what are you doing to make it so you can get some type of insurance? Many people get private health insurance. Are you able to do that? Why can’t you get state health insurance?

My grandchild is not an ooops, the pregnancy was not planned and I have been a huge advocate for prolife for many years since I am an "ADOPTIVE PARENT". What I meant and should have stated was that she was all signed up for college and unexpectedly became pregnant. Many of my family is not all that thrilled about it but I am....I will remove the OOOOPS part.

PErhaps many of you are correct, maybe I am judgemental and didn;t realize it. Just because individuals sit there in fine clothing and explain how to get more out of the design of the assistive program does not mean they that they are trying to screw the system...I stand corrected on that. Please accept my apology.Is it no wonder I got those looks then? Oh well.

jode

Jode, please don't be too hard on yourself. It is difficult for honest people to need to accept assistance, and even more difficult when it looks like others are taking advantage. Some of them probably were, some of them probably weren't.

I am glad your daughter is getting the assistance she needs and that she has a supportive mom standing next to her.

Even though it was 26 years ago...my mother always wrote a check to them through her church and now writes a check to them each year.

When I worked I always took the first off the top to give to them because they helped us so much. They do a lot of good.

jode

I understood your "oops" comment, Jode. From your posts on becoming a grandmother, it is very clear that you are happy and excited about your grandchild.

Just because there was an unplanned pregnancy and you recognise that it was unplanned, doesn't mean you'd treat the baby in a different way.

< =text/>_popupControl(); Thank you for removing the ooops part. The way it was written that you would not be a "hag" (your word not mine) and that you would be a loving grandma even though it was an oops...really implied that you think that baby was an ooops.

Really no baby is ever an ooopsie. If you want to think in terms of ooopsie...it would be the parents for not using better planning if a baby is coming when they least expect it. Both of my grandchildren were not planned children but I really could care less. I love them with all of my heart and soul. Do I wish my daughter used better planning and judgement? OH HECK YES lol. But I have a beautiful granddaughter and a handsome grandson (well he is still being built right now but those 3D ultrasounds are amazing and you can see what he looks like) out of the whole deal that I wouldn't trade for the world.

Oh I tell you , you have no idea what this has done to my life...it is so meaningful adn delightful and nothing or nobody can change that. I compare it to when we were told we would recieve a baby after waiting 8 years...just estatic.

Keep in mind too folks, that when we recieved Allyson my father had just died in a horrible accident 3 weeks earlier. He never got to se ehis grandaughter that we talked about ...just he and I.... all the time.

I never grieved normally for him cause I had a new baby an 8 year old son just becoming a big brother for the first time and we were so excited about this baby girl and family.A bazillion friends and family stopping by constantly and on the other hand I have a grieving mother from the untimely death of her husband to deal with.

THis is a wonderful time for Allyson and I and we talk every day and I talk to her tummy each time I see her.....even now!!!!!!! She has started on names and she is just a hoot (Funny) about the entire thing, so protective ( a characteristic she gets honestly from me).

THanks to so many of you who understand what I am talking about.

I guess it is because I see the difference. I was raised in upperclass, had many working friends in powerful and prestigious jobs. My brother is vice president of sales for a huge insurance company as an example, not a brag...he works long hard hours and is rarely home to be with his son who has cancer.

THis is a learning experience for me, not the norm...ok?

If these same people were in the Peds office or Ra office or Primary care Dr. office, they would not be having that conversation. THey would not have to wear all the "extras" because most of the people come from the same background and raised similarly. In other words...if you have money and live a comfortable lifestyle...you do not have to advertise it........it is known by the demeaner of the individual.

jode

Back off grammaskittles.I think you know well and good at what I was saying and you just took it to the next level of insult.

THose who know me well know that I stated it loosely.

Oh please...a thankyou for deleting some of my own post...this is not about you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

jode

Note to self: not learning to keep mouth shut, try harder.

Jode thank you for being suportive and loving your daughter through this. I am very proud of the fact that you are walking with her...it shows who you are, and how precious your relationship is with her.

Thank you!

[QUOTE=Shelly41]

Yes, because unfortunately we have allowed a society of youngsters/oldsters that do feel that they are "owed" a certain life style.

[/QUOTE]

Dude. The only certain lifestyle I think I am "owed" is a painfree one. And well... have not had one yet.

Thank you!

You are so sweet and are made of the same cloth I am. Yes, my relationship with my daughter is precious, thankyou for understanding and acknowledging that. I never had that growing up with my mother but my father was much like me in that we were close as she and I are. Makes life so much more pleasant and enjoyable!

Jode

Copyright ArthritisInsight.com