Afternoon, ladies!
I wasn't able to transfer my job when we moved so I ended up being a SAHM. It was new territory for me and definitely took some major adjusting, but I've gotten into the swing of things. During the past 7 months or so, I've been applying for positions and getting those lovely, "Thanks for applying but..." responses. This past Friday, an HR rep contacted me regarding my resume on one of the employment websites. The job and pay sounds wonderful, but now I'm not so sure I want to go if they offer me a position?
I don't know what to do!
Part of me wants to go be the career gal and bring home the paycheck and the other part of me just wants to stay home with the baby. He's never going to be this small again and there's always time to make money. But then, you need money to do the fun stuff and LIVE. I'm also concerned about the illness the baby will be exposed to in daycare and what I'll be exposed to in the workplace. Dof. So I'm torn....
I could make a pro/con list all day. I thought maybe you all would be able to help based on personal experiences.
I only say that cause I didn't and I so wish I would have. My kids turned out to be wonderful men (they are 31 and 33). I just feel like I didn't spend as much time with them as I should have.
I'm sure whatever choice you make you will do what you need to for your family. And, if you do take the job, you can always change your mind.
Good luck
xoxo
If you are able to work, I say go for it. What could it hurt? Nothing.
I do understand about the SAHM, been one for 9 years now. I think I would miss being one. Miss the laughs my kids bring me when they do silly stuff. Like when my daughter made it snow one time. Like when my son informs me that he pooted.
Good Luck on your decision. Keep us posted. Also good to hear from ya again. I posted a month back to see if anyone knew how you were doing, but no knew.
Glad to know someone was thinking of me! I was a mostly SAHM for 15 years. I sometimes substituted a couple days a week, but DH worked nights and took care of the girls if I was working. I say stay at home, be the most important person in your son's life. I know there are lots of mother's who will say they make it work. But why did you have him if you are willing to have someone else raise him during the most important years of his development. Go back to work when he enters school (5 years), work part time or from home if you need the money, but make sure it's because you really need the money, because I think children really need their mothers to be there for them.I remember having those same feelings when it came to being at home with my kids. I chose to stay home and started two businesses. The first was a transcription service that I did while I was at home. Another was a housekeeping service with a group of other stay at home mom's. We didn't make a lot, but it gave us what we needed to do the extra things with the kids that we wanted.
I have to say that although I could of had a lot more money and less worries today, I wouldn't give up those years with my kids for anything. My kids were sick. One had leukemia and the other was born with a deformed digestive tract, so maybe that's why I wanted to be with them so badly. Even though we had to make concession's and sometimes we had to go without a few things, I think it was all well worth it. They're grown now, and I've had a hard time getting past that!! But, I'm doing better !!!
It is a personal choice. Only you can make it. I've seen some super mom's who worked and have done fantastic job's, but I have a feeling that they had to work a little bit harder than I did and that they missed out on a lot of the fun. In return, I missed out on the outside world and the excitement of that. Either way you choose, your going to have to make a sacrifice.
I wish you all kinds of luck with your decision.
God Bless,
Vicki
Hi Mel and it's good to read that you're doing so well and are thinking about going back to work.
My son is 40 years old and if I had the opportunity to do it all over again....I'd stay home. My first husband and myself worked full time and both went to school part time and got our degrees, while we were trying to raise a child. I worked full time as a surgical nurse, evenings, nights, weekends, holidays, you get the picture. My son turned out to be a wonderful adult but I felt we missed so much because we always had a beautiful home, vacations, vehicles but not ENOUGH TIME AS A FAMILY. If you can stay home, do it, and enjoy every minute of being a mother, even those trying times. Lindy
I say stay home. You're right, you won't have little ones forever and it's something that if you miss, you can't get it back. I'd be so sad now if I didn't have all the great times with my sons, now that they're grown and out of the house. Stay home.How about a happy medium? Maybe 2-3 days a week? I can't imagine not working, but that is because I have always had to work.
Phats
No question about it for me. I would be home with the kids. Due to a divorce, that wasn't always an option for me but when it was I loved every minute of it. I teach now, which is great when the kids are in school. I am off today with my daughter (15) and had a blast.I'm thinking the general consensus is stay home. I don't think I have very many outfits without sweet potato stains anyhow.
This is something I'm definitely going to have to discuss with the hubby. Although, he's not much help. He just says, "whatever you want to do, babe. It's up to you." The added income is so tempting though... Maybe I can convince the employer to let me do the job from home.
Whatever your decision it can be changed if needed.
I worked in day care for several years, and I have to tell you, as hard as we tried to be loving and nurturing, and to emotionally connect with the infants and toddlers we were caring for, it simply is not the same as Mom. Young children need that emotional and physical connection with their mother, for at least the first 3 years.
When there is that 3rd entity -- YOUR JOB-- in the middle of your relationship with your child, it will change things. It just does. You will get into many situations where you will feel torn. There is something really important you need to do at work today, but your baby is running a fever. Then you have to make a choice, and you will feel guilty, no matter what you decide to do. I have seen it so many times. And it is heartbreaking.
Many women have no choice - they simply cannot be SAHM. And they make it work. Many women on this board have done it or are doing it. It can be done and it can be done well. But I think it is very hard, especially for someone who has a medical condition like RA. It takes a toll.
If you are financially able to stay home, I say do it.
If you cannot, my suggestion is to get a nanny from a responsible agency that really checks them out. It is much easier on an infant or toddler to be in their own home, and it will significantly reduce the number of colds and viruses your child will have.
I'd have to make sure they weren't blonde, Hillhoney. This child harbors a hatred for blondes - like they're evil or something. He'll cry like someone's hurting him!! I guess it's our fault though... most of our family and friends are dark haired.
After reading what everyone has to say, I'm really leaning towards staying home. Putting him in daycare at this point would probably seem like punishment to him. He's a Momma's boy. (I LOVE that!!)
It'll be worth staying home.... even if we have to eat lots of Ramen. It'll be just like when I first moved out on my own! Hahaha!!
I stayed home until my son was 5 and went to pre-school. At that point, I only worked part time.
He is now 18 and for the most part I have only worked part time when he was growing up. I always wanted to be home when he came home from school. That was the time of day he was most talkative.
If you dont have to work then I would say stay at home.Theres plenty of time when hes older to go to work but the young years are so precious and go so fast.If you can afford to stay at home, stay at home. I was home for my twins until they went to college then I got a job.
Going to work is much EASIER than staying at home! But kids grow so quickly and you can't get those years back.
So my vote, if you can afford to stay home, stay home and enjoy your kids.
Joining the chorus.
Stay home .. I was able to stay home with the kids til they were all in school..pretty much.. I ran day care . (took a few kids into my hoome) on an irrgeular basis. I waited tables some weekend nnights when dh wasnt working.. for about 2 years I worked an evening shift waitresses, I hated that.
once you figure out how much child care costs, it just isnt worth it unless you might be some kind of high powered exec. but then the nanny raises your kids.
Dont stagnate, treat child rearing like the vital job it is.. dive in and enjoy it. Doing it the second time around is incredible.. yes exhausting, but I am so lucky to have a 5 year old and 2 year old to share my life with.
I had not read this thread yet, and knew what it was about, but today when it popped up to the top, I thought somebody is FINALLY writing about how labelling their off topic post "OT" is not working for a select few. Geez. [QUOTE=Phatgirl2]
How about a happy medium? Maybe 2-3 days a week? I can't imagine not working, but that is because I have always had to work.
Phats
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Im with you Phats. Couldn't imagine not having a job. I've always had to work. But, I've always been envious of the mothers who were able to stay at home with their kids. I think it's great that a husband would want his wife to stay home and raise their kids. I just think that is so respectful of him. Especially if he makes enough money to take care of the family on his own.