Hi, I'm a lurker that keeps up with all of y'all regularly. I had to tell someone that would understand. I asked my RD if I would qualify for a handicapped sticker for my car. Often, I will not go into a store if I have to park too far away because my feet hurt too bad. He said I would, so I took the paperwork to him and turned it in. I was initially excited to be able to use this, but as soon as I got back into the car after picking the tags up, I burst into tears. It's like the disease is beating me! My brain knows that's not the case, but a piece of my heart was chipped away today. I couldn't bring myself to hang it on my mirror today (luckily it was a "good" day - pain wise.)We'll see how tomorrow goes. Thanks for reading....
Lisa
dx 2001, on Humira (1st shot after being on Enbrel for 4 yr), pred, Arava, and Naproxyn. Mother to 3 wonderful children, ages 9,7.4, who hate it when "Uncle Arthur" ("arthur - itis) comes to visit!
Awww...Lisa!! Do not feel bad about getting a handicap tag! I know a many of people who are not handicap that would love to have it just because they are lazy! Just think you really do deserve that tag! And just think the closer the parking place the less energy you waste getting to the door and the more energy you have to browse!
I will be getting one too, I hope...lol...when I decide to drive.
I would like to have one because 1. I am lazy. 2. feet do hurt when I walk too much. 3. Hubby will feel so blessed to be able to park that close to the front doors of Wal-Mart...lol.
Hi lisa.. i remember the day i got a sticker too. i am a lot older than you...but it still was day of no longer being able to deny my limitations and accept the diseses i have. then the first day it was raining like a hurricaine....boy was i happy to be in the closer parking spot.!! I still(even after a year) feel people maybe stare at me for using sticker when i LOOK like i don't need it. untill they see me walking hunched over...then they probable feel differently. if not...that is their problem! Hang in there...take one day at a time....and keep posting.!
Diane Hi Lisa; You're brain is right, you're not letting this disease beat you. From the looks of the meds you are and have been on, it looks as though you are taking the fight to the disease. But I can see where you're coming from. It was almost an embarrasment for me to be so young and need a handicap placard. I guess the problem I had was, when I put my placard up, I was announcing to the world that I was now handicapped and everyone must stop and stare at me. Of course that wasn't the case, but I held on to that theory for a long time. It did go away. The feelings you have are normal. They will subside. Just remember, you have that placard for a reason. There's no shame in using it. Allen Lisa, I also get teary-eyed or weep when I receive something in writing that refers to me being disabled or my RA condition. Even if its "good news". Maybe because its on paper, it makes it too real? Almost like that sentence is referring to someone else, not me. Guess I'll get over it in time. Thanks for sharing. I don't feel like such a sap now. :-) Ok after reading everyone elses replies mine seem to be a lil' ______. But I guess that is because I have had my whole life to get use to feeling like ya'll feel. BUT I recently had to go thru more stiffness and pain and more RA symptoms then I have had to for a long time. See, before the only thing I had was a limp and certain limitations, which was not so noticable. But now I have many more limitations and I no longer limp, I hobble and hunch. I look like I am in a lot of pain, which I am most of the time, and I am embarrassed to go out in public. I feel like I am letting the whole world know I am helpless and a cripple. I know I am not, but in "healthy" peoples eyes that is what I am. What I am trying to say is I have accepted I have RA and realize I do have limitations, BUT I do not want EVERYONE to know I do. Because of how people look at you. I know I probably look like an easy target for some kind of sexual preditor. That is why hubby will not let me walk to the post office which is across the railroad tracks, across a street, and around a corner...all of about 10 mins with the way I walk...lol. Oh no rambling...again...sorry Lisa.
Lisa you do have the right to feel the way you did. You made perfect sense, and your point, Joonie. I considered about you having it so long. I still feel embarrassed going out in public in a wheelchair. I just don't look at peoples expressions. That way I avoid that curious or pity look. Guess I'll get used to that, too. So, yeah..understand your limp, hobble and hunch. It's all relative, eh? {{{{{Lisa}}}}} Bless your heart.You have to do what you need to do to make things easier for yourself.Your not beaten.You are getting out despite the pain, I think that shows you haven't given up.
Sheila When I first got my placard I had a really hard time using it. It was, to me at the time, admitting defeat. So in the beginning I just pretended I got the best spots because I was a celebrity, lol. I haven't thought about that in a long time. I got it when I went off to college and parking was horrible at the school. It did come in handy. 16 years later I still have a placard (not same exact one of course) except now I only need to use it sparingly, and I'm no longer ashamed to use. Here I am world, nodules and all! I look young for my age so I do sometimes get glared at for using it even though I clearly am disabled, but I just glare right back. Sometimes I just hate people! p.s. I have a friend who uses her mother's placard and it infuriates me!! I have known other people to do the same just because they are lazy. Imagine having an able body and being so lazy you'd take a handi spot away from someone who could really use it? When I first got it I was VERY ill, but looked just fine. Someone made a comment,and I simply told her, "I'm dying of congestive heart failure.. want to see my medic alert card? Lady, not all handicaps are visible, for instance, you don't LOOK ignorant" Closest I ever came to brawling in public. OMG!! A public brawl!! That would be just super... I can see it now... the headline "Handicap woman beats the crap out of Healthy woman" LOL GREAT come back as well!! "Lady, not all handicaps are visible, for instance, you don't LOOK ignorant"
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