Urgent Help/Advice please... | Arthritis Information

 

Hi

My partner Tom is coming to terms with having arthritis at a young age. He is 19, and was diagnosed partially some years ago. However for various reasons he only saw a specialist once some years ago and never really got a proper diagnosis or particularly informed treatment.

He has both osteo and rheumatoid arthritis, in most major joints.

I am really looking for advice as to how best to help him. He does not really know anyone else with these conditions, and so even just trying to break that isolation would be great.

Thanks your time.

Well an online forum like this one is a good place to start. :)  The best thing you can do is encourage Tom to eat well, exercise, and take his meds, and support him emotionally when he is feeling low.  Depression and chronic pain go hand in hand, sadly enough.  Having a caring supportive partner will make a huge difference.  I was diagnosed at 16, and there are a lot of young people on this forum who can sympathize with what Tom is going through.  Also, be patient with him while he discovers his limitations.  You seem like you really want to help him and that's the first huge step.  Good luck and keep us posted. A good first step would be for him to come here and ask lots of questions.  Many people here would jump at the chance to help him.  He needs to see a rheumotolgist on a regular basis for proper care.  He needs to be treated aggressively ASAP to get his disease under control.   It's good of you to research help for him and we welcome both of you to join the group for support and advice.  We wish you well.

I think Jesse is saying -

Got questions?

And he needs a current rheumy ASAP.

Pip

I agree with these guys that he needs medical attention! There are many
different treatments for arthritis, but they are all more effective when
started earlier rather than later. Ignoring this problem won't make it go
away, it will just cause worse problems down the road.

While he's waiting to see a doctor there are some things he can do, like
gentle, moderate exercise. Low impact exercise is the best---does he
like to swim? Also, I use high doses of fish oil to control inflammation (he
needs to take enough to get 3 grams of combined EPA/DHA a day, if he
decides to try it). I don't have OA but my mother did and she swore
glucosamine really worked for her.

You're a great partner to come here and try to help your BF! There are
many people taking many different treatment approaches on this board.
My treatment is a bit of a mish mash right now, so while I feel pretty
good I'm not sure which thing is working, or if it's a combo (they warned
me about that in arthritis school, heh). Some people on this board are
using an antibitoic protocol to treat their RA, others are using more
conventional meds.

There are many different arthritis medications that all have different pros
and cons, and usually a cocktail is more effective than a monotherapy.
Not all arthritis is created equal, so most people respond to some drugs
and not others. Please be sure to investigate drugs before going on them!
It's okay to decide a certain drug is not for him---there are always other
options.

Please encourage your BF to seek medical attention for this problem
ASAP. I know the waits to get in "the Loop" in the UK can sometimes be a
bit long, so start today!

Good luck.All very good advise above. The longer he leaves proper treatment for this the less bullet proof he will become.
He will only get worse.

Your a kind hearted person for coming here and seeking advise for your BF.

Hello, Jayson, and welcome!

Is Tom currently on any medications to treat his condition? If he's not, I suggest contacting a rheumatologist as soon as possible!! RA is a filthy nasty disease, especially if it's left untreated. It can cause permanent damage within 2 years if there's nothing holding it back.

As for support, you have come to the right place! Most everyone here is super helpful so ask away! I'm very happy that you're taking the steps to learn more about the disease so you can help him live with it.

I hope you're both having a superfantastic day and Tom is extra comfortable!

Jayson,

My DH has RA...so, I am in position like you.  I think you need to openly talk with each other about the feelings and issues that come along with having RA.  It can effect so many aspects of your life.  Don't push issues under the rug because they will come out one way or the other!  Also, you need to be an advocate for him.  With my DH, I have realized that sometimes he is dealing with his pain and has trouble looking at the whole picture.

The above advice is great!  Find a doc that takes time to listen!

Let me know if I can do anything at all!

~Amanda

Welcome! I think you've gotten a lot of good advice so far, but I wanted to give one more push on the "have him join here" train. Support really is a great thing to have, and with him being new to the Doctor scene, if he has any Q's he can ask us! We'd love to see both of you stick around. I hope he gets into the doctors soon!!!Welcome Jayson, Tom is lucky to have a supportive partner like you. Everyone has given you great advice and I second everything they say. Good luck!welcome jayson! i'm thirding everything that has already been said. and i also think its wonderful that your being so supportive, thats one of the things that i know is so important in dealing. i was dx at 19 and one thing that might be helpful is just talking about your fears. for me that was really important and made a difference. i hope you post again, i'm looking forward to getting to know both of you! Hi Jayson, knowledge can be your saviour with this dreaded disease, there is so much to know about it as it is so complicated, you have taken the first steps well done, most of us on here who have partners can't tell you enough about how fantastic it is when they are there to listen support and comfort.  I personally have found that it has strengthened our relationship, I adore my hubby for looking after me, he gave up his career, and looks after the kids for me, but allows me in to help when and if I feel I can.  Also on the other hand he also lets me know when he thinks I am doing too much, we can be very stubborn and think that when we are well, we can get back to normal but I am afraid it doesn't work like that, we all end up suffering here if I overdo things, so you are a gem to Tom, best of luck and ask away, we all like to try and help, as we all have our good and bad days.  Much luck to you and kind regards, Janie.Jay  
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