My RD is the most uncaring, un-empathetic doctor I've ever had. I broke down crying (first time in the 8 months I've been seeing her) the other day and she looked up at me and went about her business of writing notes. She also told me that my reported pain level doesn't really "match up" with the level of pain I say I'm having. (I told her that my hands hurt all the time, as opposed to how they used to hurt occassionally, that was it). I am not a needy patient and don't have this problem with any of my other doctors, thus have come to the conclusion that it is HER, not ME :). I'm considering switching to her partner, but nervous about making the phone call. I don't need a lot from a doctor, but would at the very least like to be treated like a person, not a chart.
I would change if I were you. I feel very lucky to have a terrific and caring RD.
Before changing to her partner, I would request a consult to just meet with him/her. It would be useless to switch if you don't mesh well with the new one either.
I would change Dr.'s in a heartbeat. This is such an important part of your life and you need someone you feel cares about you. I always look forward to seeing my RD for that very reason. He is very sympathetic.
Also, from my experience, pain levels can be high with normal blood work. I don't know if that's what you're talking about though.
Juliah, I had the same situation with my present RD until I spoke to him about his seemingly uncaring attitude. He agreed with me and we talked for a long time about how his patients see him. He actually was surprised and told me how frustrating it is to be a rheumatologist. A rheumy can't cure any of their patients, all they can do is offer meds that may or may not bring on remission. It's a sad business when you stop and think about it.
Since that discussion he's been much better. I realized it isn't that he doesn't care, he's protecting himself at my expense. He doesn't do that any longer. He's honest and open with me and has even offered me his shoulder to cry on.
I considered changing doctors but I knew that he was the best of the lot I had to choose from. He's an excellent physician but he does lack that personal touch. I decided I needed his expertise more than his shoulder. Lindy
Oh YEAH Julia, I know exactly where you are coming from.
I ALSO just broke down sobbing (in about 8/9 months too) at last appt to which he had same reaction as yours. My sis who was at appt with me finally had to get up and kinda push past him to find tissues or paper towels in order to not have me using sleeves of my shirt to wipe my eyes/nose.
His reaction was really odd I thought especially since what he was suggesting was sooooo off the wall that it would have scared anyone to death which was having me go off mtx and remicade all the sudden - but NOT THE PRED - because I had been two weeks without a flare, hands were looking good that day and the most recent bloodwork was now showing no abnormal inflamation (of course), and he was thus indicating he considered me now cured.
EDITING to add that I do see where as Lin(?) was suggesting in previous post that their jobs would be very frustrating and probaby pretty thankless as a result. And I think I will try to have ONE conversation w/ him about this to see if it does help while I am waiting out the months it will take to find another RD where I live anyway...
Good Luck to You.
Adele
Juliah, I'm sorry to hear about your experience with your RD. She should have shown some compassion!! It upsets me to know she didn't react at all. She should have given you a tissue, a hug and some reassurance that she was going to do everything possible to make you comfortable. I would definitely try to find a new doctor.
I've switched doctors a lot in the past; they really didn't seem to care one way or the other. It's important to have a doctor that treats you like a person and not a chart number. I hope you are able to find a doctor that's a "hugger." Those are the best.
Have a superfantastic and comfortable day! Im goin thru the exact same thing right now. When my dr. diagnosed me I broke down. He just sat their and kept talking into his recording machine. When I asked him about remission he told me that I would most likely never see a remission and that most people with RA never do. My husband was even put off by his behavior. He will not make any kind of eye contact with me and on my last visit, After waiting for 3 hours just to see him, I told him that my pain meds. seemed to be not helping me as much. I told him sometimes the pain was so bad at times it just wouldnt touch it and I also told him that it made me kinda nervous if i took it after 7 and it was hard to sleep, he acted as if I lying... and kinda grummbled. I was taking vicodin so he prescibes me Tylenol 3, that didnt help at ALL! I have already made an appt. with my PCP so that he can refer me to someone else.
I have had two rheumatologists and they both treated me the same way. I had more problems with the staff though, with problems getting prescriptions filled and stuff like that.
My first rheumatologist, I was really frustrated because I did nothing but get worse in my first year of treatment. I then started researching by myself (I was a medical editor for a year and I know how to read abstracts on PubMed). Well, I found some studies that said food intolerances can contribute to RA. So I ran an elimination diet, and during that time was the first time I'd ever seen any improvement. And in the next few months, I got off steroids.
I told my rheumatologist, and she just kind of shrugged and said, "There are some good studies on that." And that was it. I was just mad that she had never even suggested it.
And later when I reacted weirdly to methotrexate (I started having two periods a month), she told me one of the rare side effects of MTX is early menopause! I was mad about that too.
But anyway, I moved away, and my new rheumatologist is not much better. I told him about diet studies, and how I'd improved, and he put on the most amazing poker face you ever saw. He didn't say anything.
Susan
http://scdgirl.blogspot.com
I have had 2 rhuemy's in my life...the first one when I was younger scared me for life! I didn't want to be on medicine like any other 11 year old, and when I said that he asked me if when I am older do I want my boyfriend holding my hand wondering what is wrong with it!!
Jerk! I am still paranoid about my husband holding my hand!
The doc I have now is sort of the same way. He doesn't even smile. It's kind of scary
I would find someone who makes you feel comfy.
Some of these stories make me aprreciate my RD all the more. I've never had to wait more than a few minutes to see him (although I always schedule my appointments so I'm first of the day), he never seems in a hurry to get me out, always takes time to answer every question thouroughly, and is always kind and friendly.
I know options are limited for some due to a lack of area RD's, but I'd say that if you have more to choose from, I'd find one that you like. Makes a difference, ya know?
My first RD was totally unsympathetic and didn't even make eye contact with me. He actually once told me to look at the people who were suffering in wheel chairs in his waiting room as I left his office, and I might put my life into perspective. Well that just totally p*ssed me off! I got in his face and told him...I'm 37 years old with a mortgage, car payments and TWO kids in private school. I'm a single mom with a full time career...not a 78 year old woman with nothing to do! If this is the best you can offer, than don't bother sending me your bill, because I'm not paying it, and you've seen me for the last time.....and with that I stormed out.
It was months later when my GP recommended my current RD, and I've been seeing her now for nearly 10 years. She's awesome...interested in how her patients cope and the little things they do to make their lives easier, and shares those ideas with her other patients. There is NO excuse for an RD to treat patients like cattle. If they can't handle the kinds of patients they see, then they had no business specializing in autoimmune diseases in the first place! Yes, doctors ARE people, too...but when I'm paying 0 on up for a clinic visit, I expect a compassionate professional who is up to the task of treating me!
Don't stop looking for a good RD...they are out there...
Geez, reading these stories I realize how lucky I am. After I move I wonder if it will be worth it to fly back and forth across the country just to keep my wonderful, gentle RD. I hate to even start the process of finding a new one.At first my RD's "bedside" manner was a little off-putting, but eventually I just realised she's not one to suffer nonsense or a fool (not that you were either, Julia). She listens, discusses what is relevant, and does what needs to be done. I have a lot of respect for her knowledge and open minded approach and I'm glad I stuck with her.
[QUOTE=miles2go]Geez, reading these stories I realize how lucky I am. After I move I wonder if it will be worth it to fly back and forth across the country just to keep my wonderful, gentle RD
I can definitely appreciate this....because we are planning to move sometime next year back to the east coast (South Carolina). My employer here in Arkansas is a hospital, and they have agreed to order my enbrel for me, and apply my 20% discount, so basically my enbrel costs me a grand total of 0 for the whole year (my deductibe). I will have to figure out how to get it and how much it will cost me when we move.
My rheumy is another big question mark....my mom, who lives in SC, hasn't been able to find a decent RD yet, so I am concerned about finding one there myself, and leaving mine here...she is so amazing!
My main reason for the move is to be back near my aging parents, and my sisters, now that my kids are grown and moving on with their own lives, out of state. I moved from SC 26 years ago to marry the wrong man...but when we got divorced, I agreed to not move out of state with the kids until they were grown. I've had the same employer since I moved here in 1981. Starting over is scary, but it's time now, to reunite with family.
I'm praying for divine guidance on this big life decision!
Have a great day
The first time I went to my RA doc and started crying due to pain she slammed her hand on the bed and told me to go see a psychiatrist. That did it for me. I kindly told her that as an RN, I never realized how horrible this disease was until it happened to me and I was in terrible pain and didn't know what to do about it. She did a bunch of blood work and called me days later and apologized for 20 minutes and said she had no idea I was doing so poorly. She told me I LOOKED GREAT!!!!