I have been fired | Arthritis Information

 

jode

jodejjr39459.6476273148I am so sorry. But there has to be something you can do. Your mother is mentally not stable. Are there support organizations? Who has power of attorney? You know her health is declining so are there organizations that can help out?

If you are not keeping track of her finances, how will you be able to shop for groceries? She could end up spending the money and forgetting.

Can you talk to someone about her drug addiction? You said you talked to someone about it.

I hope things work out for you, I really do.

jode

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jode

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Jode, Can't you just tell her that is not going to happen? I can't understand her thinking she has the right to dictate your life! Is she threatening you with eviction if you do not bow to her every demand? If that is the case, I really think your sister needs to do something with the power of attorney. Obviously this woman is not stable!

What does your sister say about all this?.I really don't understand how your Mother can tell you what you have to do FOR HER in one breath and threaten you and treat you like a child with the next! There must be something in this arrangement that I'm not understanding.

But, then, I don't understand a Mother treating her child the way your's treats you. It really is beyond comprehension.

Keep your chin up, Sweetie. Your daughter is there now, isn't she? At least you will have the joy of her and the baby to fill your life with some happiness.

Keep me posted, okay? You have a lot of people here that care about you!

Hugs, Nini

I shall give you a job. How soon can you start. I must admit i yell sometimes myself but not at anyone really, i just yell for the sake of yelling maybe once or twice a week at least. Usually it is because someone had to bother to wake me up to tell me to do something for someone in the family when i am the sick person and no body even cares or calls except dad and he seems to think i have out lasted my medical leave from family responsibility. He just calls to annoy me some days especially if i say i am trying to rest as i had a hard night or something. And if i say i am running back and forth to the bathroom or going out on a date it seems he just calls non stop. My mom or sis have not been by once. Yet for some reason they think i am supposed to pay there refridgerator payment. When they moved out i was very sick had lent them all the money i put back. They had a dog it had fleas. They did not vacume. I was laying here swelled and with a bad fever and infection and was being bit by fleas till i got well enough to get up and get rid of the fleas myself. My kids where out of state at the time. Mom and sis just down the road. They think they can force me into geting better so they can continue to use me. Well i would say they burnt a good bridge. I was sick and couldn't wake up around thankgiving and did not get to the water company. They did not bring me a glass of water. I do not call them up and yell. I went to my dads took a shower and went to the bar. I was so hurting i was shaking, but i made new freinds. But some days i walk threw the house yelling at my family but they are not around to hear me. So maybe you couldn't stand me but you could come here. I can only do things somedays but not everyday and life doesn't work that way so well.I had thought about staying with people that i know i can not stand to around all of the time just because i can not always take care of myself. But i am holding out. Thank goodness for delivery services. I would order in meals for a couple of days at a time. When it ran out i would order more. But slowly things seem to be falling apart. I decided i will just take what ever prednisone it takes to stay awake and keep me on my feet till RD in two weeks. I did find some new good friends. They will maybe pick up my presciptions or some grocieries on the days i can not. I do not take advantage of them. I try to do most of everything myself. Oh the floor may get mopped about three weeks later than i would have liked sometimes. But loosing everything and being homeless comes to mind somedays. Some days i get scared. Some of my medicine was making me more tired than i already was. Like now i do not sleep at all on the 20mg of pred for allergic reaction and bad swelling. The sleeping comes back if i drop down to 10mg. I may sleep for two days straight. I have no control over my life right now. It really stinks and i have a job but can not always do it. Scary. The only reason i am not fired is because i am the boss. I am questioning fireing myself. But i keep telling myself it will get better. Tomorrow it will be better and so on.milly39445.1066435185I am not trying to run away with your thread here just trying to relate and share that i have an understanding of what you are going threw and i am not worth much as far as helping people but i am here to do what i can. My father is mentally ill and has earliy alzhiemers. I put his name on bank account because he is the only one i can trust. I am payee of a mentally ill brother. I do not like the job or even want it but i am the only one who will do it. My family decided behind my back someone else should take over, however they won't do it so it has stayed the same. Thats about the extent of the worry of my illness they have had. My mother i needs medication of some sort, I believe it is more than hormonal. She takes care of my special needs brother, and watches my sisters kids they are 3,4,and 5. And she doesn't like the job. It is not how she planned to spend her retirement and she blames the rest of the world for her problems and how her life has turned out. She is retired with nothing as my sister had to be on bed rest while pregnant and all her children where born premature and one right after another so mom retired early with barely an income as she quit her job to help my sister. It has drove her mad. Her boyfriend died about six years ago and she has no one or time to meet anyone. If i was well i would go babysit and give her sometime off. And when i am well i will do just that. My sister is the queen of every country in the world. What she says goes or she will tell you where to go. And she is usually not concerned about anything but herself. Very controlling very abusive and i feel sorry for both of them for having to live with each other. I did notice when my sis was on medication for headaches after her husband beat her she was very nice and even gentle. But she quit taking her meds do to financial needs like being able to get out of bed and go to work and insurance she does not have, and i can not handle being around her. Plus i would possibly be worried about my medication dissappearing. I can handle my family in small doeses. I could not live with them. I did let them stay with me for four months and i hid in my room. I could never use my washer and dryer or bathroom and the yelling threw the walls was awful. They were expensive and kept clogging my plumming and then yelling at me that the drains were plugged. I was getting to be a pretty good plummer i must admit. My water bill has gone down to .00 a month scince they left it was 0.00 dollars a month when they where here. I got my sister a lawyer so she could get child support and did not kick them out, but when she got a job and a place i paid ther water deposit and rented a moving truck and rented a refridgerator for there house and told them to go find a used one, they want to keep the rental and have a sick lady pay for it. Silly girls dreaming arn't they. Family you got to love them but some days i do not know why. I actually helped my son load there furniture and fell gasping on the yard lifting the washer and dryer, I was sick then but got sicker. Doc thought they stresed me out and gave me a bad fibro attack. When he ran the blood work he said i am sure it is not RA, you will be fine with them out of the house. And then i got so sick i could not work at all or even wake up. And four months later i still get there mail. They will not change it over and expect me to deliver it. So i hope you get your mom some meds and she mellows out. If she kicks you out you can stay here i am a mentally ill about letting people down on there luck stay with me, They do not seem to have a medicine for that and years of theorapy has not even worked, i keep a revolving door around here. I do hope things get better for you. You need to go make some new freinds. Or will you get kicked out for going to a  support group?

jode

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jode

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Jode, first of all...your situation stinks in a real way.  I hate that you have this disease and that your living conditions are abusive and very manic.  YOu need to find help in the state. 

I would first look to moving into an abuse shelter...yes, they are there for you!  YOu are being abused mentally, and you need to get out of it and start over.  Do not wait until you are employed...get out.  What about your daughter staying in her apt. and you moving in when you have a job? 

You do not want this stress to be upon your daughter it will endanger her pregnancy, and cause stress in your relationship.  Your mom will whittle away everything that you have worked for with your daughter...don't let her do that, and please do not let your daughter come into a situation like this. 

You have every right to have your pain pills and work through your own illness.  You have every right to have peace and safety in your life.  Your life is not safe and it is effecting your health.  Get out ...NOW! 

http://www.cvm.org/

http://www.sunrisepasco.org/services.html

http://www.safehavenministries.org/

http://scnc.eaton.k12.mi.us/~eoe/hShelters.htm

Here are some resources, and I hope you work towards getting out.  You see the problem and it is getting worse instead of better.  For you and for your life...you need to get out.  If your mom cannot handle life without you than let your sister pick up some of the pieces.  You have to stand up for yourself...you are a worthy person, and need to love yourself through these changes. 

Praying for strength and the will to act!  shelly

, jode

 

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Jode, just remember that you are strong and think on a time in your life when you were strong and overcame things.  YOu can do this again.  I hope mom settles when your daughter gets there, and she does not get as vicious with her. 

Mental illness is devastating, and there is help for mom, but she sounds like a proud person that really likes to be in charge and not take responsibility.  You cannot make her do that because you are too close to the situation.  All you can do is take care of you.  I will continue to support and love you and help YOU through this. 

Take care and get some rest.  Remember that you are a very important member of society with a lot to give!  Take care and I will pray!

Yes, Jode, make sure you take time to take care of yourself. I know this is a very trying and difficult time for you and I can tell you are at your wits end. I hope you are able to find someone who can help you out because dealing with mental illness is not something you can do on your own. When she's really getting on your nerves and testing your patience, just remember you only have one Mom. She probably honestly does not know how difficult she is being and is most likely frustrated with herself. (It's certainly not fair for her to take it out on you though!) We're here for you!! I hope today is much better.

I personally know how difficult it is to live with someone who has a mental condition.  Remember, your mom is sick too.  I think if you can get her some help, things will be better for the both of you.  It may be that she really isn't lying and that she really doesn't remember saying those terrible things.

I remember a post from you some time ago that said you were going to have her checked for Alzheimer's after she has surgery.  Is that right?  Why wait until after surgery?  What does your sister think about all of this?  You may have posted this, I can't remember.  If your mom does have an illness, she needs help too.

I am really impressed with Shelly41's practical posts for you, Jode. There is help available to you in this situation. Most importantly it is important for you to always keep separate your Mom's problems from your problems. A therapist once told me 'don't let her problems become your problems'. So I would encourage you to get help for your Mom because as others have said, she has an illness that needs treatment just as much as we all need treatment for our RA stuff.

So sorry things are so tough right now. I pray that your daughter will be able to turn things around at least a little for all your sakes.

 

Jode - I completely relate to being "done".  I have no advice, no comments, nothing, because there is nothing I can add.  I am so "done" too; it's too much at times the overwhelming part of what we commonly endure in here.  You are in my thoughts and prayers, and I just seem to keep getting up every morning and taking the hard, terrible life bullets all day long, then start all over again.  You are very loved in here.  Cathy

jode

jodejjr39459.6491319444Good luck!! Glad your daughter will be there soon. My dad he will call me for three days and say the same thing, did i tell you? It worries me. He can be very angry and hurt full. I end each conversation with i love you. Even and especially if he he is hurtful. I try not to let people get to me mentally. Some days i am just angry because i am sick and need help and it is know ones fault. But if i was well my family could still get the better of me mentally. It is trying. Hang in there.It is nice to have a back up plan. It will help you get threw. I hope it works for you to stay and reap the seeds you have sewn as far as your hard work. But if not i am here. I am feeling better. Medicine i could not take because it made me to tired is getting rid of my swelling. I can take on the 20 mg of pred. A twelve hour allergie pill and simple keflex. I am going to my favorite dinner restraunt for filet mingone and a spinich salad with a hot vineger dressing it is so good trust me. Elvis is leaving the building and let me have a moment that i will will cherish. Also eating alot of rasins and bananas and rasin bran. If it works i can not complain.PS, I am normally a very clean person and a work aholic. Even if i am not able to wake up i sleep in the office. As i am used to having to be in the office 12 or 16 hours a day. I can only fit a love seat in the office i have comfy large sofas in the living room and beds. But i sleep propped up on a love seat with my feet strung out on my office chair, I  rock my feet back and forth puts me to sleep. If i wake up i like to work and clean first. Do not go out much. I am a little strange but that is what makes me feel i am trying being  by telephones as i am a freight broker with a dispatch service. All i have to do is stay awake. Well this is always the slow time of the year and it has been a bad year for the biusness in general. Then got sick for longer then i would have liked, hope i did not scare my customers to badly. I do not have to spell thank goodness my mind has gone. I do alot of math corrections i never had to do before as much fixing of things. So i really triple check my work. I am on a bit to much pred and a vicoden and tired now from lack of sleep, but this is a good day for me, I am awake and walking around. Some days i can be awake and sit and stair for three hours waiting for pred to kick in on a lower dose. Some days i can not wake up at least one or two days a week. And i had been swelling awful the last three weeks had been all down hill. I am climbing back up that hill now.
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