jode
jode
Jode, I'm so sorry that your family treat you so badly.I can't even imagine living like that. Do you think you will be in the position to move soon? I really think, for the sake of your health and sanity, you need to make the move as soon as it is possible for you.
Will your daughter and her boyfriend go with you? I hope so. Do you know anyone else in Indiana? I hope all works out for you soon. As I see it, we just have one life, and we need to make it the best we can. Being around all that negativity is just toxic.
You are right that your grandchild needs to be raised around kind, loving people. This baby deserves to be loved and to be around only people who express that love. And so do you!
Please let me know how you are doing.
Much love, Nini
Jode, what a kind thing for the surgeon's staff to do. Does you Mom see the kindness and generosity in something like this?
Thanks nini
"It has got to be me because it follows me wherever I go."
Jode, that might well be the most insightful thing you have ever said. It sounds like you have trouble with relationships. The one constant in the mix of you being unhappy is "you". I wonder why your sister would say she is mad at you. You mention money. Is it because you are not working or making an effort to support yourself? (not judging, just asking). Take a look at yourself and how others perceive you and see what you find. Do you like yourself? You sound like you play the victim a lot. Most of your posts are at how unfair life has treated you. What do you get from that? Is it so you don't have to accept responsibility for anything? So you dont' have to be a responsible adult, because you are the victim of your mother? You may be 50 years old chronologically, but emotionally you sound much younger. This might be something to work through with a counselor. You sound bitter and negative. Again, this is from an outsiders perspective, just from reading your posts. You can continue to blame others (of course I'm angry, you don't know what it's like to live with my mom, she is so cruel, and my sister is mad for no reason..etc)....but where will that get you? Maybe a good start is to get a job. Then you won't need to rely on others financially. Plus, you'll have less time to dwell on how bad things are for you. Just some thoughts. And naturally I know I'll get slammed for this, but this is how I see it. I hope you find some insight into your issues.
jode
Poor Jode, Let me tell you about my normal parents, my perfect life.
My father left my mother with 4 kids and 1 on the way. My grandfather move into a very small trailer and let us live in his house, When I was 7 he was murdered. So we had no home, (this is back before walfare) in Indiana. We moved to a house but mom couldn't pay the rent so we were sleeping in a car before long. She sold her body when she couldn't find work, to feed us kids. We would steal food when we got 2 hungry. We were lucky to eat 1 time a day. Do you know what its like to be hungry? Do you know what it like to get stop at a police road block and be put up agaist the car at 12 years old? because your mother had robbed a liquor store. We lived in all kinds of places, most of the time with no heat or lights. They took my little brother and put him in a children home where he was raped by the people who ran the place. When mom found out we kiddnaped him and ran to New Mexico. We were all over the news. I got married at 14 to get a home. My brother and brother-in-law robbed a bank. My mother was murdered when I was 18, I had to go id her bloody body. I have worked hard to make a better life for my kids and myself. I have never been arested. My life has not been perfect, but it's my life and I have to keep control of it, no one else made it better, I did. I had too. I have my ups and down with my health and my husband, but it is my life and I'm not going to come here daily and let everyone know how bad it is. So sorry Jode, that you have problems, I think you need help, to be able to deal with life. untill you deal with your problems your life is going to be hell. please get the help you need.
Linda, I'm so sorry for the miserable childhood you had. I really am. No one deserves to lose their childhood to poverty amid criminals and cruelty.
However, you have only been a member for 2 weeks. You have not known Jode long enough to judge her. In fact, it is not our place to judge anyone. We are here to support one another and to offer constructive advice.
Perhaps we would not live our lives like anyone else on the board. We don't have to. In the long run we are each responsible only for and to ourselves.
I would gladly offer you my friendship and emotional support if you chose to bare your soul to the board. In fact, you DID bare your soul to us. But only to tell Jode that your childhood had been worse than hers and you are stronger than she is and have built a better life for yourself.
But I don't think this is a contest about who has had a worse life than another. Or who is sicker. We all have our problems. But I think that one way to feel better about ourselves is to try to help and understand others. Especially those that are going thru a rough time, regardless of who's fault it is. Just let them know you care that they are hurting and they don't have to go thru it alone.
I think kindness to others is the best medicine their is.
Jode, many of us are here for you. If you need to PM me, please do, anytime. I think if you want to be in Indiana, you will find a way. Have faith in yourself. I do.
I just love these threads where if it is not Victim/enabler responses, you get slammed. If you are willing to show the world your perspective on whoa is me than expect many different opinions. I also like the ones who equate number of posts with some kind of pecking order. Give me a break, there is a search button for reading history of posts. Linda was just trying to show everybody has a cross to carry and attitude determines outcome.Nini,
I tried to offer good advice to Jode. I tried to encourage her to get her mom help. I was speaking from experience telling her that if her mom's emotional abuse was indeed because of her illness, things could get better if she got her mom proper treatment. Nothing I said was judgemental or mean. All I got was slammed for it.
I don't think Jode wants advice. I think she just wants an outlet to vent her frustrations because she can't do that at home, which is o.k., but it sucks getting the third degree when you are honestly trying to help her.