But you still got your health | Arthritis Information

Ok so a week or so ago I posted about "survival of the fittest". Well, that was because of something MIL told me.

She was talking to sis-in-law on the cellphone about how our kids got claimed on someone elses tax return. Then MIL said "yeah... we all still have our health."

I interrupted her and said "I do not have my health." She replied back with "Yes, you do. You might have pain, but you are healthy."

Yeah... I do not see that as healthy... having pain. Your body says you have pain for a reason, because something is not right with your body. Which to me is not healthy.

Even health insurance companies do not see me as healthy.

Your MIL didn't say you were healthy. You do have your health although it is "sick health." I do not know your MIL, but it seems like that could be a compliment - I mean, you have health issues, but she still sees you as healthy. I think that says you do a great job of taking care of your family, etc., so much that she forgets what you are dealing with. I'm taking a guess here, but I'm thinking she may have meant like..........you don't have cancer kinda thing. KWIM?

KWIM>>>>>translation please.

Yeah, I bet Katies right. RA stinks and for some worse than others. But it could be way worse.

KWIM = Know What I Mean

Oh Ok... hubby says he would not consider me healthy.

He said like Saturday and Sunday I just laid in the bed and took pain pills, so I was not healthy those days.

Joonie, Sometime's I get very annoyed with people who say well you have your health. Maybe they mean well,but at times when I am really having a bad day it dosn't go over to well. When your lucky enough not to have cancer and maybe not be in a wheel chair it still dosn't mean it's any easier. I thank god I am not in that postion. Still in all I get tired of people thinking I should do this and this for them because I am not terminal. And believe I don't play the victom role. Just my opinion.

A-nut

Yeah, I know what you mean a-nut. Still, I think people should get some slack for trying to say something that'll make you feel better, even if it isn't the perfect thing. Sometimes it's hard to know the right words, so you gotta look at their intent and be thankful that they care even if they do blow it.

I get that Lin, been a bad week of my family thinking I should buck up. It gets so frustrating when people put all this preasure to do for them. If only for one min. they could walk in our shoe's. Sorry if I offended anyone. BAD DAY...........lol

a-nut

I'm sorry a-nut. You didn't offend me, I do understand how it feels to have people not get it. I just feel kinda sorry for people who are trying to understand but end up with their foot in their mouth.

I guess it is all relative. I know numerous people with cancer and two are terminal. I am sure healthier than them, but I get so blasted discouraged with never feeling good and knowing I may never feel good again and that the damage so far is unstoppable. It would make me mad if someone said that to me too. But then I would feel guilty about getting mad because it is not like I am disabled or dying.

Laker

I did not get mad, about it. It just struck me as weird for her to say. Especially after she has seen me go downhill and in her view I am disabled. She was one of the ones that pushed me to apply for disability again, and was just soo happy that I was approved. Me I was not happy, as it meant that the government saw me as disabled. Which to me is just not want I want. I know I can change that, but the meds have to do their job first.

Lin, that is true exspecially when they are trying to be nice. I guess we have all been known to do that. And I have a relly BIG FOOT!!!!!!!!!!! LOL

a-nut

Until just the last few years I have considered myself healthy because I could do most of the things I wanted to do or needed to do.

I never considered having pain not healthy, but I do see Joonie's point too. You can still be relatively healthy but have an illness - you just don't have perfect health.

I don't want others to think of me as unhealthy or ill just because I have a serious illness like RA. Other people's negative judgements have been more hurtful and a bigger obstacle in my life than having RA for 30 years.

I guess that her definition of "healthy" is that one is still breathing!

That is what hubby said too, Laker.

MIL is a cancer survior. She is healthy. I mean I do not know how she does all that she does. I would be tired by the time my feet hit the floor justing knowing what her day's agenda is.

a-nut

Joonie, I think your MIL meant well but.......You have to consider her age. Compared to her and her friends you appear to be healthier than they are.

One of the problems for me has been "I've never looked ill" or like I have a disease. I look great for my age, in pretty good shape, no wrinkles, a sparkle in my eyes. Even my doctors tell me "you look great" but on the inside I have pain, joints inflammed, OA kicking my ass, RA/PA out of control, complications cropping up at all times, but damn I look good. Excuse the sarcasm. There have been times when I've felt really bad and have gone to the doctors with no makeup, hair limp, in jeans and the doctor's staff says you look really good with your new haircut...huh, what new haircut?

People will never understand how we really feel inside. But that's okay because they'd have to have the diseases to truly understand. I guess for me I'll continue to look good but hurt. I guess you'll continue being ill but healthy! They just don't understand and for that I'm thankful. No one deserves to be in constant pain. Lindy

Makes sense Lindy.