COMPLETELY OFF TOPIC.... | Arthritis Information

 

I just have no one else to dump this on. I know, terrible, but it's driving me crazy.

My cousin is a COMPLETE moron. *sigh*

This is the one who got preggers at 17, dropped out off high school and never even got her DL. The baby's daddy was convicted of d/ling child ** on the high school's computers. He spent 18 months in jail, and will be on probation for the next 3 years, and will always be on the sex offender list. He was looking at FIVE YEAR OLDS.

She married him. And she's pregnant - AGAIN. Now she's 20, and it just doesn't seem as if she's grown up.


I talked to my mom tonight, and she gave me an update:

(Jessica is my cousin, Jerry is her "husband" Layadin is their daughter, Sherry is Jessica's mother, and Cindy is Jerry's mother)

Jessica has been sick with this pregnancy since day one. Which was back at thanksgiving (though she didn't bother to tell ANYONE until christmas) She has not told her doctor how sick she is, but she can barely stand, and she can't keep any food down. So to help Jerry and Layadin have food, our grandma has been going over to their apartment and giving them casseroles and stuff. Well Jerry will never let grandma in, or ask Jessica to come to the door. Finally, my smart grandma went over to their house while Jerry was at work. Jessica HAD to answer the door.

Grandma said the house was TRASHED. Litterally. She called Sherry and said "you HAVE to do something" So Sherry called Cindy, and said "what do we do??" Cindy said she'd go over and take a look. Well, when Cindy got there, she found the baby sitting in the middle of the living room floor, in a pile of TRASH and dirty clothes. Cindy scooped all three of them up and took them home with her. She sat Jessica and Jerry down and told them "what if DCF came over?? They'd take Layadin from you"

Know what they said?? "hah, who's gonna tell them?" AND THEY LAUGHED AT HER. Cindy said "oh, I'll do it." And they STILL laughed!!

Cindy went over to their apartment, and she said she had to SHOVEL THE KITCHEN FLOOR. Jessica and Jerry haven't done laundry in SIX WEEKS because "the dryer's broke" (Jessica's excuse) So all three of them were wearing dirty clothes every day. Cindy said Jessica actually SMELLED, because she'd been so sick, and hadn't showered in god knows how long.


I'm so upset with her. Growing up, yeah, I tortured her a little, she was younger than me. But jesus, she was still my baby cousin and I took care of her and she ALWAYS looked up to me. I always thought she'd turn out alright. I just have no idea what the hell happened to her.

And now that I've been up there and met that BEAUTIFUL baby (Layadin) It just breaks my heart. I wish I was closer. At the very least, I somehow think that maybe Jessica would listen to me, or at least let me have a bigger part in Layadin's life than she's letting anyone else. (which is just about NIL at this point)


Anyway, I guess I'm just bummed. :/ Here's a picture of Layadin from Christmas....

It is ok Katie  cindy needs to call  family service .  Cindy can petition to have that little sweet thing come and stay with her.  there is no reason that little darling needs to live in that pig pen and Cindy shouldn't have to clean it up.  Family services will make the parents take classes and will follow up and if they don't clean up their act Family service will take the other baby coming away from them. What's so crazy, is Sherry didn't even think of that. See, that's part of the problem. It's not that Sherry was a bad mom to Jessica, she just..........wasn't great. Ya know? She just doesn't think things through alot, and you can see that coming out in Jessica now. And Sherry will never see that, and there's no way you could EVER point it out to her. But I do almost wonder what would happen, if Sherry DID realize it, and talked to Jessica about life growing up. Jessica made the comment that "I'm depressed, I've been depressed for years and no one's ever bothered to say or do anything about it"

Well............neither did you and we're not psychic!!! She acts FINE, she just acts like she doesn't give a rat's ass. I dunno. *sigh*
Yes but something needs to be done that Layadin should not be in that enviroment, it is not good healthwise or mentally she needs to be in a nurturing enviroment.  We know a couple here with 3 kids and everytime I see the kids they are filthy.  I was the type we didn't walk out the door unless Rachel was clean from head to toes and extra clothes were packed in case of an accident.  It sounds like they need parnting classes.They really do. I mean come on, he was looking up kiddie **. HUGE RED FLAG!!!!

I told my mom I'd take Layadin. Heh
She would probabl love it expecially when you go to Wisconsin. You can take her to the Dells .arris, Layadin you have to pay the price because of her parents. And why is Jessica throwing up that can't be good for the unborn child? It sound's like they feel there life is fine and you guy's have the problem. Bye the way Layadin is one beautful little girl. She needs better than what they are giving her.a=nutKatie has she had any prenatal care for the new baby??  I was deathly sick the entire pregnancy couldn't keep food down at all had alot of ivs but I was told by the dr as long as the baby was growing and gaining weight she would be fine and she was.  She was 9lbs 80zs and I haven't stopped eating since I had her!!!!lolololol

Arris- I agree with meme, Somethings not right with the stuation. The baby could  be in trouble. Are you afraid that if you excert youself into the situation that it will make it worse?

a=nut

As a mom and as a person that has always cared the most about the kiddos...I totally agree with Meme, and Cindy needs to do the call.  I can guarentee that there is more going on than meets the eye, and the baby needs to be put first.  I would wonder if she is going to her appts with the docs, b/c they would be weighing her and if she is throwing up as much as she says...it would show up in her weight. 

I would probably call Cindy and encourage her to call DCFS.  The call needs to be done, and it needs to be done soon.  Parenting classes need to happen, but I worry about more to the story factor. 

Layadin is the cutest thing...I hope she gets a better shot than she has been getting.

It is very hard to call DCFS...I have had to do it to one of Eleya's friends that identified dad as sexually abusing her. It was very tough, but I would do it in a New York minute again. 

Well, since she won't let anyone in the house, no one's terribly sure how sick she is. But she did say she told her doctor......well....did she tell her doctor "yeah, I throw up" or "yeah, I throw up every meal" or what? Cause it makes a difference!


Layadin is so cute! and SMART as a whip! This may sound mean, but she's nothing like her mom or her grandma (my aunt). I wonder how she even came from that family sometimes.

I don't think I could call up there. For one thing, Jessica apparently never answers her phone, and for another they're all up in WI near each other. I'm way down here. If she thinks the rest of the fam. is butting in, my god what would she think of ME?


I really hope they either get their crap together, or Sherry or Cindy calls DCF. They need a harsh life lesson.
Katie, after reading this last night and then again this morning I am still in complete shock.  Yes DCFS needs to be called.  By someone! I just feel so sorry for that beautiful little girl and the unborn baby.  Sadly this all sounds very similiar to the family I have been talking to you about.  Somebody needs to intervene for the safefty of both babies.  Does she just not know better about what needs to be done around the house or does she just not care?  Were you able to talk to her when you were up in WI any on the phone at all?  Do you think she would talk to you since she always looked up to you growing up? 

 Katie, if you have actually seen this YOU can make the call.

This kind of stuff is why we have Jake and Ally. filth is  a reason to call dcfs. it isnt just a hiegyne issue its a safety issue. Recently in this area  a mom, grandmom and 2 kids were killed in a house fire. No one is really talking about the fact that  there was so much crap piled ontop of a night light and outlet strip that the whole mess caught fire.

 

The little ones can fall and get hurt, smother or burn to death. Call the authorities.

I'm calling my mom again today to talk to her about it.

No, she didn't talk to me at all while I was up there. It was really weird, it's not the Jessica I grew up with.

The baby's daddy was convicted of d/ling child ** on the high school's computers. He spent 18 months in jail, and will be on probation for the next 3 years, and will always be on the sex offender list. He was looking at FIVE YEAR OLDS.

He was convicted and is on the sex offender list and is now the father of this beautiful 3 year old child?  I find the fact that he is even allowed to be near her disturbing!

For the child and unborn childs sake, I really hope they get the help they need.

I know, we don't get it. Although, he's not allowed to be alone with her, take her to a park, take her to school (when shes old enough) anything even close to that. And now they're gonna have TWO KIDS.

Oh, and he can't own a computer or the internet. We really wonder what the full charges were.

Yea it seems like there may be more to it..

Just curious, you said their house was trashed.  Is he working to support his family?  Do they own a home?  I guess that would show some degree of responsibility on his part.  Does your cousin work?  If not, was she always unmotivated or is this because of her being sick in her pregnancy? (I mean as in keeping the house clean,etc.)

Well first of all...that poor baby. What a doll she is!  Someone must be working with her if she is that smart and thank goodness they are. 

It is a very tough decision to make to pick up that phone and make that phone call.  Especially when it is a relative.  However, in this situation, something needs to be done.  If you have to shovel the kitchen floor...there is really something wrong there.  Your cousin could be depressed and that is why the regular normal housework isnt getting done or she is just too sick to do it.  In that case, CPS will provide them with resources to help them out.  It isn't that you want that beautiful baby taken away...it's that you want the parents to get the help they need to properly run the house and take care of her.  CPS will help out like that.  Think of this as a positive thing in their lives.  They will get the help and resources they need to make positive changes in their lives and their children's lives.  You aren't doing this to be the mean cousin, you are doing this to be the helpful cousin that is concerned about her family's welfare and well being.  If no one up here will make the call Katie, do it yourself.  Be the hero and save not only that beautiful baby, but everyone involved in the situation. Nah, shes the most unmotivated person any of us knows. She doesn't have her diploma, even though she was only ONE CREDIT away when she got preggers. All she had to do, was fill out a workbook, and take a test. She doesn't have her DL either. And she doesn't work. Mom says there's always dishes all over, and trash in the kitchen.

Jerry does work, but he's always calling out to stay home with her. I'm not sure he's really that motivated either.

arris,  She dosn't talk to you because she knows you see right through her. Down deep when she gets around you she knows what she is doing is wroug. I think she is caught up in something bigger then her self. It sounds as though her self eysteim is next to none. I think you may beable to find out what the charges are .

a=nut

How is she emotionally?  It sounds to me that she may be depresssed.  Is she a good Mom aside from not keeping the house clean?  Depression can make a person feel overwhelmed and if she is feeling sick too...well that could be the problem.

Yeah, I think she's depressed. I mean, she tried to say that was the reason the house was a mess.

I dunno, she's been known to just use things as excuses too. It's so hard to say.

 

 

I talked to my mom, she says aunt Ilene is REALLY pissed and is not taking any of this lightly. She and Cindy have decided that they are going to call Jerry's parole officer, and see if he is willing to help. He is to have access to their house 24/7 ANYWAY, so they can't refuse him entry. We know that now that Cindy and Sherry and all the aunts have yelled at them, there's no way once they're back home, that they'll let anyone in the house for a long time.

So, since the parole officer has access, he will be able to monitor them, and call protective services. And then Layadin will get put with someone. I dunno who, all the aunts and grandparents are willing to take her, so I'm not really worried about that. She'll be fine, as long as someone steps in.

 

Right now they're still staying at Cindy's house. No one knows for how long. I think I might call Ilene tomorrow, and get some more of the story. I do trust her not to put up with it though. And if not her, then my grandmother. From what momma says, grandma has told Jessica and Jerry MANY TIMES that they need to get their act in shape. And Jessica always yells at her, and doesn't let her over to see the baby. But grandma knows it needs to be said, and she cares SOOOO much for Layadin, she'll keep doing it. So kudos to my grandma for having the balls to say it!!!!

Most definitely kudos to your gramma for speaking up!!  YAY!!!  I have no idea how involved the parole officer will be willing to get but that is a great idea.  If the parole officer does not get involved and call protective services, will someone in the family?  And staying with Cindy isn't doing them any good right now.  Well except for the baby.  At least she is being properly cared for right now.  These kids need to learn how to do this on their own and CPS will see to that since they won't listen to family! I think my aunt will call. I'm going to try to catch her tomorrow, and see what she says about it all. She's a lot closer to the situation that my mom is.Oh, and I do think this is something the parole officer will be involved in. It may not be directly related to his charge, but it still involves the well being of a child, so he's already skating on thin ice. KWIM?

I know in my state we can look on the court website to see what crimes people were charged with.  I checked and it seems like Wisconsin has it also.   If you know his first and last name go to www.court.state.wi.us   and you can look up the info.

Oh I know what it was, it was simply "possession of child **ography"

 

I've searched him on the sex offender site. *sigh*

katie, a while back Lorster said something about a subscription she has to some background checker website. SHe made the offer to anyone that might want to use it to use hers.

I read the first post in this thread Katie and I haven't read any more till this last one.  It made me so sad, like I just didn't want to know this.  It breaks the heart for this little baby.  She and family are in my prayers.

I know, I didn't want to hear any more when my mom told me, but at the same time I do. I want to know what's going on.

 

Layadin is one of those kids, that you only have to see for a split second and you just KNOW there's something special there. She's just so sweet! I couldn't stand to think that I ignored a problem with her. :(

 

Hmmmmm I don't know what kind of stuff would come up on him, he's only 19. I don't think anything except his conviction is there.

Well I am glad that people are taking notice and the wheels are starting to turn.  It's a start.  I have a feeling that you or your family will not let anything bad happen to Layadin.  I agree .. KUDOS to Grandma and Ilene for taking action.  Keep us updated on your beautiful little cousin!Oh Katie, I wasn't saying that you should.  I know you can't.  It just makes me want to cry. Little ones are so helpless and trusting.  All they want is to be loved and what ever Mom and Dad give them and call it love, they are happy to take it and love them back with all their little hearts.  When you see a such a happy smile in the fac3e of such neglect it just breaks your heart even more.

I know!

 

Okay you're gonna make me cry. LoL Shoosh!

Sorry. Didn't mean to do that.

Katie this didn't happen overnight....I'm wondering why the probation officer hasn't seen this. Or your aunts haven't intervened before now. Not dissing your family but I know if that was Emma I would be fighting tooth and nail to make sure she is taken care of. Even if it meant alienating my own child.

Try not to worry, send suggestions through your mom, you're a smart girl, I know you'll do what you can do. I'm so sorry.  LOL Katie did you get ALL the brains in the family???
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