Number of kids? | Arthritis Information

Howdy y'all!
My fiance and I were talking about having an only child or having two. I was just wondering, how many of y'all you have kids went through more than one pregnancies after being diagnosed?

The reason I ask, is that I have heard stories about women with RA who have two or three kids, but they had the last one after diagnosis, so the scenario is not what I am facing. I've also heard stories of RA getting a lot worse after pregnancy. I'm willing to run the gambit to have a child, but I want to be an active and hands-on mom, and worry that undergoing multiple pregnancies while dealing with this dadgum disease will decrease my ability to be that kind of mom.

Anyway, any opinions y'all have are more than welcome, and anyone who has undergone this scenario, I'd appreciate y'all's input.
Thanks!
~Kristen
I had one child 14yrs ago, my RA went into full flair about 3 years ago. I did have RA since a child was it was very very mild and I took ibuprofen for pain (didn't know about it helping inflammation at the time) so i was actually treated.

But, during my pregnancy and up to 5 years after she was born, my pains and hip problems went away. Into the 6th year after she was born, it slowly would creap back with one knee, then the other, then the ankle, then the hip etc. until the 12th year when it all hit full blast and powerful.

I just wish i knew why i felt soooooooo wonderful for the years after her birth.

I was diagnosed a year after the birth of our first DD, had to go off all medication before I got pg with second DD, went into a wonderful remission while I was pg with her and then a terrible flare 2 weeks after she was born and started MTX. They are now 21 and 18. You are on ALOT stronger meds than I was, so perhaps yours is worse than mine was at the time, but children are so worth it. RA makes having kids harder, diapers, snaps, braids, some days my hands just couldn't do it. But I don't think my girls missed out on too much because of my RA, and you just make due, my Gumby DH had to teach them how to skip. Let your fiance know that he may have to be more involved with the small stuff, but let me state again, children are so worth it. Good LuckI didn't have childern after this happened, but I can say I've seen post after post of mom's who did and were really happy afterwards. I would have...the situation never arose.

Hugs,

Pip

I haven't had any children after being told I have RA. However, I was told I had osteoarthritis young. I did have three children after that. They now are 24, 14 and 6.

Wish I could help more.

Diagnosed 3 weeks after birth of 2nd child, extreme flare, mtx 20mg, pred 50mg, plaquenil 400mg, salazopyrin 200mg, couldn't look after myself let alone a baby, hubby became our carer, still is 8 years on, but I wouldn't change a thing, hope this helps, sorry its not a better story, regards Jane. well my situation is real different.

we had 3 kids back in 78, 81, and 83.. and I didnt have RA then..

But we are raising 2 grandkids, and got the first one in Nov 2003 when I was just getting bad with RA.. the kids are 5 and 2 now..

and I am pretty significantly impacted by RA and what I can do with/for the kids. I had to back out of chaperoning a kindergarten bowling party, because I'm too sick and tired to manage 4 kids in and out of the car, or help out with the bowling itself. We went to the science fair last week and I was so exhausted by the end of the evening I ended up spending the next 2 days in bed. I can't teach them how to tie shoes because my fingers don't work. Brushing her hair wears me out. my jaw involvement makes it very hard to read stories.. or sing to them. but little kids want what they want and need what they need.

I do my best to get down on the floor etc with the kids, but there are days when the kids have to play in my bedroom while I spend most of the day in bed.

But you gotta remember kids get used to what they are exposed to. If they learn from birth that mom can't do whatever, it isnt the same as a sudden disability..

the other thing, raising kids is exhausting. even for the healthiest moms. When I was young and completely healthy I actually found myself asleep UNDER my baby's crib.. I had just passed out from exhaustion and snuggled into the carpet. If you have a condition that causes terrible exhaustion, and then add pregnancy and child care to it.. it will be hard.

This is something you need to talk over and over. He will need to be a real hands on dad.

My little guy still uses a bottle, and there are days when I simply cant screw on the nipple.. there are days when I cant fasten the diapers tight enough and he ends up with a diaper down his pant leg.

I'm not saying "don't" but just that you need to do a lot of soul searching about this..

I adore my littlies.. but its really really hard.

I've had 3 of my 5 kids since I really started feeling the effects of RA. Pregnancy-induced remission (many women go into remission during pregnancy) can be WONDERFUL!! After I had my 3rd child (first after RA) I stayed in remission all the way until after I had my 4th child (she was born in Feb 2004 and he was born in Oct 2005). However, after #4, I flared REALLY bad ... the worst ever. I stayed flared all the way through my 5th pregnancy (she was born in Jan 07) but after she was born, I was finally able to take the proper meds again and I'm on the way back up again :)Can you stay home with your child at least until they start school? I would not have been much of a mother dealing with RA and a job. Have you talked this over with your RD to get their opinion? I never got on the floor with my girls without ALOT of help and rarely did it, so we put the Lego city on the dining room table for weeks and put our plates on the open spaces, DH didn't care. The worst part for me was the trying to conceive while I was off the RA medication, it took the Exxon Valdez to keep my DH home at the right time. Like Trina said, you will have the meds waiting for you to start again after the baby is born. Maybe your RD has other patients who have had babies and you could get an idea of how they manage it or you have friends who have babies and you could get a sense of what a day in the life is like. Nothing stays the same with kids anyway, they eventually learn to dress themselves and brush their hair and as long as you love them, they learn to deal with whatever they need to. Honestly, they don't notice that their mom is any different than anybody elses.I was dx when I was 5. My first daughter was born when I was 21 and I had a bad flare up about 2 weeks after she was born, but it was calm during pregnancy. I had twins about 4 1/2 years later and same thing, was gone during pregnancy then had bad flare up about 2 weeks after. Then had a son 2 years after the twins, same story. I was home with each of them and was able to take care of the twins on my own, until great hubby came home to help.

All that being said, I have a fantastic rheumy and we were able to get things under control quickly. I live a very busy life and my kids keep me going in every direction and I wouldn't have it any other way! Currently, my kids are 14, 9, and soon to be 7. I have found myself getting bored at home now that they are all in school, so I have gotten a job at the school district as a teachers's aide substitute. I can work as much or as little as I want. If I'm having a day that isn't so good for me, I don't work that day. It is absolutly perfect for me!!

Looking back, I would do it again in a heartbeat! My kids are the light of my life and without them, I'd have such a boring life!!! It is comedy central here and they keep me laughing all the time!

Is it worth the flare ups?? TOTALLY WORTH IT!!! I see my beautiful daugher growing up and making great decisions, and my younger ones developing their personalities! It has been so gratifying!

I hope you don't hold this disease as your excuse to not have kids. If you want them, have them! It will be horrible as you get older saying, "What if.....". I have a few of those and they are not fun.

Philippians 4:13 says "I can do all things through Christ who strenghthens me."
It says ALL things, not just a few things, but ALL things. This passage has helped me through a lot!
Thanks for sharing y'all! I'm definitely not going to let RA keep me from having a kid, I just don't know that we'll have a second. There's a lot of factors going into the decision beyond just the dadgum disease, but it does play a role. I want to be able to be an active mom...not being able to do so wouldn't keep me from loving my kid(s) of course, but it would break my heart if DH got to teach tree climbing and help out with sports and shoe tying and all that while I just had to watch. I know a lot of only children who grew up completely happy, and have found siblings in friends throughout life. I myself have a younger brother (he's 20) and couldn't imagine life without him. He's one of my closest friends. However, my fiance and his sister can't be in the same room for five minutes without arguing...they love each other, but just do not get along.
Anyway, sorry to ramble. I know nothing's guaranteed, and we'll play it by ear as we go. I just really appreciate any and all sharings about y'all's experiences! It makes me feel like we're less alone in facing the decision to be parents with me having this disease.
~Kristen

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