BLONDE LOGIC:
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a
bench talking, and one
blonde says to the other, "Which do you
think is farther away...Florida
or the moon?" The other blonde
turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you
see Florida
?????"
CAR TROUBLE:
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas
station. She tells the mechanic it
died. After he works on it for a
few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She
says, "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor" She
asks, "How often do I
have to do that?"
SPEEDING TICKET:
A police officer
stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if
he could
see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would
get
your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then
today you expect me to show it to you!"
RIVER WALK:
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another
other side?" The second blonde looks up the river then down
the river and
shouts back, "You ARE on the other
side."
AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE_
A gorgeous young
redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her
body hurt
wherever she touched it. "Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show
me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and
screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed
her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed.
Everywhere she touched made her scream. The doctor said, "You're
not
really a redhead, are you? "Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a
blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is
broken."
KNITTING:
A highway patrolman pulled
alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he
was astounded to see that the blonde behind the
wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing
lights and siren,
the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his
bullhorn and
yelled, "PULL OVER!" "NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A
SCARF!"
BLONDE ON THE SUN_
A Russian, an American, and
a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian
said, "We were the first
in space!" The American said, "We were the first
on the moon!" The
Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on
the sun!" The
Russian and the American looked at each other and shook
their
heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said
the Russian. To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know.
We're going at night!"
IN A VACUUM:
A
blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She
rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If
you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
She
thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or
off?"
FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE
JOKES!:
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two
new dogs, and
asked her what their names were. The blonde
responded by saying that one
was named Rolex and one was named
Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard
of someone naming dogs like
that?" "HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the
blonde. "They're watch
dogs!"
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