OT - V-Day Chat!!! | Arthritis Information

Hello Hello!!! I should have just made my "lookie what I got" thread the chat....but ooohhh well!!

Mel!! You had some awesome v-day jokes, can you post them here for everyone to enjoy??

I am stuck at work until 11 again tonight, but I plan on making Justin his fav meal. Chicken N Dumplings. You'd think the boy had never eaten when I make that stuff!! LOL

What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine's Day?
Ughs and kisses!

What did the boy sheep say to the girl sheep on Valentine's Day?
I Love Ewe!

What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine's Day?
I'm stuck on you!

Knock knock!
Who'e there?
Frank
Frank who?
Frank you for being my friend!

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Howard
Howard who?
Howard you like a big kiss?

What did the boy owl say to the girl owl on Valentine's Day?
Owl be yours!

What kind of flowers do you never give on Valentine's Day?
Cauliflowers!

What do you call a very small Valentine?
A Valentiny!

What did the boy squirrel say to the girl squirrel on Valentine's Day?
I'm nuts about you!

What did the girl squirrel say to the boy squirrel on Valentine's Day?
You're nuts so bad yourself!

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Sherwood
Sherwood who?
Sherwood like to be your valentine!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Pooch
Pooch who?
Pooch your arms around me, baby!

Any Pulp Fiction fans?

Three tomatoes are walking down the street, a poppa tomato, a momma tomato, and a little baby tomato. The baby tomato is lagging behind the poppa and momma tomato. The poppa tomato gets mad, goes over to the baby tomato and stamps on him and says: catch up.

MrsA2008-02-14 18:44:17LOL Okay that last one was just BAD.

The only cheesy jokes I know are these: (they have NOTHING to do with valentines...)

-What's black and white, black and white, black and blue?

A nun falling down the stairs.

-What's green and red and goes 25mph in a circle?

Frog in a blender.

Two sausages are lying in a pan. One sausage turns to the other and says "MAN it's hot in here!" The second sausage looks at him and says "OH MY GOD! A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!"

Haaaahahaha omg that last one ALWAYS cracks me up!!!

Ok, I'm a sucker for pirate jokes.... hehehe

How much does a pirate pay to get his ears pierced?

A buck-an-ear!

How does a pirate quit smoking?

He uses the patch.

What's a pirate's favorite kind of socks?

Arrrrrrrgyle!

Have you heard about the new pirate movie?

It's rated Aaarrrr.

And do you know why?

Cause of all the booty!

This pirate walks into a bar with a big ship's wheel down his pants. The bartender says, "Excuse me, sir, but do you know you have a ship's wheel down the front of your pants?"
And the pirate says... Aaargh, it's driving me nuts!!

LMAO Its driving me nuts. Hahahahahahaha

Omg I'm never going to shut up about that one....

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! The last one gets me every time... Way back when I was out at the bar with a whole bunch of friends and by this point in the night of course I'm pretty drunk. So we're sitting at the table and everyone's looking at me cause I'm telling that joke (which most of them have heard already cause it's one of my favorites.) So anyways, I get to the punchline and instead of saying, "it's driving me nuts!" I say, "it's steering me balls!"

Oh man... drinks where spilled, people were choking and I had to go home. LMAO

LMAO Okay THANKS A LOT.

I'm never reading your posts at work again.

I just burst into what appeared to be, to everyone in the lobby, a random fit of laughter.

Now I'm the crazy girl at the counter. Lovely!

Awesome. My work here is done. *bows*So a guy just walked through the lobby.

He was probably in his mid to late 40s. In a suit.

With a mo-hawk. O.o A big, almost foot tall, bleach blonde, mo-hawk.

The sides of his head were shiney, too. Almost as if he doesn't need to shave them anymore. Like it's a reverse pattern balding thing he's got going on.

A MOHAWK!

He's probably 20, but the meth makes him look older.

LOL He was fat. No meth there!

Lotsa beer and cheap hookers???

There's nothing light about natty light?

I wonder if he's just with the band. Yeah, he's a groupie! He follows (it is soooo not stalking) his favorite band city to city to catch every one of their shows. He doesn't work but has the means to travel because he inherited millions.