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My girlfriend has RA and Fibro and OA, when I meet her she didn’t show any signs as she did tell me that she had RA, and for the first 3 months I enjoyed the dating and company and was overwhelmed by her.  Well after 3 months it was like hitting a wall, she stopped showing feelings and didn’t want me to touch her and withdrew from me so fast that it made my head spin and thought the worst that she didn’t want me anymore.  She keeps telling me it’s not me and I’m trying to understand at times it is hard to.  I know we would not have a normal relationship and I can handle that and the sex isn’t a main concern to me either anymore, it’s just being close to her and to give her anything she needs or wants.  Its what I feel inside and I know she cares for me but she tells me that she is not the same person I met but when I look into her eyes I still see that person and I want to be there for her even if she acts like she doesn’t want me around and right now she wants space which I have given her which has gone from me coming over and staying at house everyday to maybe one or two days if am lucky. I just want to show her that am here for her.

Was she in a remission (using the word loosely) and her meds aren't working as well now?  She might be dealing with grief and fear and YOU at the same time.
 
Hang in, give her space, and hopefully things will work out.
 
Pip
ddmiller,
 
Sounds to me like you are at the wrong forum. It sounds to me like she's done with you. When they say "It's not you, it's me" the "not you" part is right on. You may want to visit a lonly hearts forum.  Good luck..........................................................................................LEV
Please ignore Lev.
 
Pip
 Sadly, I'm going to agree with Lev.
 
sweetie you've only been involved 3 months. Dating relationships don't all last until you are 90 and walking into the sunset together.
 
RA or not she is acting like a woman who is trying to let a guy down gently.
 
I don't know how old you are, but you sound young.
 
One last thing, usually, but not always the one who ends a relationship in a relationship with one person who has RA is usually the healthy one, because they can''t deal with the issues.. Seriously it sounds like she is ending things, time to move on.
 
Some girl will be happy to have you because you sound loyal and caring, but she isn't the one.
 
 
I agree with Lev as well.  Sounds like she's just not feeling the same about this relationship as you are.

Ddmiller38,

Emily has posted before that when she feels bad, she needs her space from you.  Remember?  You even replied to her post saying you will give her that space. 

I'm the same way when I flare.  I want my husband to give me my space.  You either need to learn to deal with that, or you need to move on.  I'm not trying to be mean, but this will be the reality of your relationship with her.  The post concerning her need for space is below:
 
 Thanks to all of you,I do feel much better knowing more about my RA,
and that Im not alone on how it affects me and how it can affect the relationship,I have recent flare ups still and Im pretty moody,and needing alot of space,being that I was such an independant person before the RA,and when I was told I had RA I had a hard time accepting it,was depressed,scared and felt helpless.now Im finally feeling like my old self again and that this disease doesnt have to have control over me,Im wanting to be my independant self again(with help when I need it).I know its hard for my boyfriend to understand the changes,and that he feels like hes loosing me,hes wonderful,and I couldnt have a better person in my life.I wish he could understand that for me,its just a process of going from accepting RA,and dealing with the things it brings with it,to finally becomming my real self again...
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