I’ve bought a book | Arthritis Information

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..called conquering RA.  As soon as I get it I'm going to read it cover to cover and if I find anything helpful at all I will let you all know.  Don't worry I don't believe the quacks - I'm the biggest cynic out there but you never know.  I had a really sad night last night.  I remember when I was at primary school, sometimes my gran would be standing outside waiting to collect me. I loved her so much but she had a stick and some of the kids used to make fun of me because of it.  I used to take it out on her on the way home.  I told her years later how sorry I was but when she died it really bugged me.   Anyway, last night I wrote Austin a letter for when he is older to because I bet he'll feel like that about me.  I told him he wasn't ever to feel bad about being embarrassed about me or for anything he said or did.  I know it's morbid and I wont think like that again but I was so low last night and I'm glad I did it because i got my mum to put it away for me and that way I know that no matter what, he'll know it was ok.  Sorry to be so sad but it just made me feel so much better. 

I think I might actually be a bit depressed just now - think I might go get some prozac or something because I'm usually like tigger and I've turned into a bit of an eeyore.

[QUOTE=julie]...last night I wrote Austin a letter for when he is older to because I bet he'll feel like that about me.  I told him he wasn't ever to feel bad about being embarrassed about me or for anything he said or did.  I know it's morbid and I wont think like that again but I was so low last night and I'm glad I did it because i got my mum to put it away for me and that way I know that no matter what, he'll know it was ok.  Sorry to be so sad but it just made me feel so much better. 
[/QUOTE]

This was probably a good idea.  It probably gave you closure on feeling bad about your grandmother.  Austin will most likely appreciate it, when the time comes that he reads it. 

I am sorry you are feeling

 


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