My long hair is trashed--it's gotta go

I've had long hair all my life--well except for that one unfortunate year long ago when my mother made me look like Dorothy Hamill--and I'm very attached to it. It's so much a part of my personality and look.

I am making an appointment to get my hair cut. At least four inches. Like shoulder length.

It has really helped my hair using the Reinforce Strengthening Triple Creme Masque. I bought it last year when my hair was breaking off, and then when we moved I "lost" it and I "found" it a little while after getting my hair layered and I have not had a lot of hair to fall out or break off since.

It really is worth the money and lasts a while because you only use it twice a week.

When I get some extra money again... I am going to buy another tub of it. It makes my hair so pretty and soft and shiny too!

Innerglow, any losses are serious losses with this disease. It's about adjusting to something new we didn't ask for, whether we like it or not. This is the hard stuff with this disease...losing bits of ourselves that were and are important to us.

I think it's a good idea though, for the health of your hair to give it a good cut, it will revitalise it for sure. Deep breath, sweetie. It will be okay,and who knows, you may just like it and people may tell you how wonderful you look.

Even so, I know it's a loss of your identity. I and all of us here have had losses like that with the RA monster. You need to grieve for your hair, darl. Do whatever you need to do that. The feeling is just the same as if you had lost another part of you or someone you loved, it is still a huge loss for you.
Hey hun don't go butcher it all at once!!

Why not cut a couple of inches, wait a few weeks, cut a couple more, wait a little longer, etc etc.

Work your way into a shorter look, instead of going slaughterhouse on it? It might make it easier for you - emotionally! And if you explain to the stylist what you're doing and why, I'm sure she can come up with something cute and stylish for the "in between" styles that makes your hair look healthier than it may be.

*hugs*

Their comes a time when every long haired girl has to cut it. I know that you aren't exactly thrilled about it, but then, who ever is? I would advise that you don't revisit Dorthy Hamill though. Unless you get some earth shoes and a copy of "Goodbye Yellowbrick Road" to go with it.

Yeah... I when I went January to get my hair cut, my hair was down to the middle of my back and really really thinning, breakage everywhere and my hair was badly damaged. I did not want to get it cut as short as I did, but at least this cut I like.

I told the lady to layer it and showed her a pic in the hair style book and told her I wanted all the split/damaged ends gone. She was only going to take off like 3 inches. I was like no... I want it up to here, pointing to the top of my shoulder. She was like are you sure? That is a lot, don't you want to keep your length. I was like no, cut it off... I want healthy looking hair and the only way to do that is to cut it off to here.

So... I was thinking when she got done, I would not like the layering cut, but it is pretty sweet looking
I ended up cutting my hair (my husband was more upset about it than I was) My hair is just too fine and I thought shorter would look better. Not sure that it does, but I'm at an age now where I felt it was time to go shorter.

I'm with you Joonie...with my hair being so fine, the layers seem to make it look fuller/thicker

Hopefully you'll end up loving your new hair, IG!
I sure hope you end up liking your cut. But I really know how you feel. I have been thinking of how bad mine looks but I have had long hair my whole life I can't imagine short hair.
Let us know how it went. But I agree with arr why not just take a bit off at a time??
Here... my sister is having a receeding hair line... her hair was down to her butt. She went last month and got it chopped off to her ear lobes. Yeah... it killed her to do it, but she got tired of her hair and the receeding hair line from where she has to keep it up in a bun at work and well she is ALWAYS at work, so no down time for her hair. Well that really stinks and I feel truely sad for you. So much that I understand. My hair was great. Then boom. I only took two Arava and was allergic to them. My hair is thinning breaking, and even growing in much greyer then ever. Ouch! I have been taking biotin. Hmmm. Not been happy. Shoulder length hair can be fun sometimes. But i loved my hair just a short time ago. Mine even tangles so bad at night. And it isn't strong enough to with stand the combing. I know you will miss your long hair but i bet you will still be lovely.
Doing it in stages is a great idea, but I'm worried that the damage is up so high that I'll only end up losing more in the process. Plus, I want to go to my trusted hairdresser of 20 years...read as "the expensive hair dresser that's an hour's drive away"...so both economics (I'm still not back to work) and effort make fewer visits better.

I love John Frieda and I tried a couple of his things, but not the one you mentioned, joonie, so maybe I'll give that a try, but I'm not holding out a lot of hope. This decision has been weighing on me for awhile, and I'm at the "band-aid stage"...just rip it off so I don't have to think about it anymore.

I need all the damage gone, or I'll keep sitting with my scissors night after night trying to cut the damaged ends off one by one (did I mention I've suffered with obsessive-compulsive disorder since I was a teenager?). Not only is it time-consuming, but it hurts my neck.

The one good thing is that after 20 years, my hair dresser will get what she's always wanted....

Ya know I was about to hit "post reply" when I realized why I am so very upset. Not that I couldn't be so upset just about this, but I love being a girl and I'm starting to forget I am one (although at least my husband remembers!). It hurts too much to shave my legs. It hurts too much to do my nails. I can't wear high heels. I don't have a lot of nice clothes anymore. And there are just too many days now when I just don't feel like pulling myself together. My hair is a big part of my feminine identity and I don't feel like I have much else left. I know it's not true, but there's still a lot of grieving going on.
I can understand that. I do not have many girly clothes, I do not wear make-up, I hardly ever shave, I hardly ever brush my hair, my nails are hardly ever painted, and I wear only tennis shoes.

The only thing that keeps my feminine identity is... my underarm deoderant (when I wear it), and the ole "monthly bill" <----- trying to come up with a way to get rid of that too.

Some days I just want to be girly, but those days to so far not much on my horizion line yet. I am just trying to make do with what I can do.

Oh I did buy some Bath & Body Works body spray around christmas time, I put some of that on once or twice since buying it. I figure that will work until I can get to where I can do more girly stuff for myself.

It is bad enough I have to get hubby to hook my bra for me some days.

You just wait and see... once you get your hair cut you will feel a little more girly... because you will be playing with it to figure out what you can do with it. Bless your heart, I know the feeling. Just get it trimmed, liek the really bad parts cut off initially so it is not such a shock. Buy Pantene for damaged hair...you would not believe the difference it makes, they even have a conditioner for damaged hair that I like to use about once a month that basically saved my hair.

Try it after you get a trim........it will be easier to handle if you just get a trim.......at least it was for me.

jode
I had the same problem over a year ago. My hair was thick and beautiful and down past the middle of my back. MTX made half of it fall out and my swollen hands made it so I could not take care of it. I had 8 inches cut off in one whack and donated it to locks of love. My head felt so light and my neck was less stiff! Its grown out a bit, about shoulder length but its still very thin.

Its hard and can be depressing but I agree with the band aide theory, just do it. It will take some adjusting but in the end, it will be healthier and much more manageable! Hugs!
I have been through the hair problems too. Work with your hairdresser. I think the haircut will help a lot, then get it trimmed on a regular basis. Condition it. I agree the layers do help several ways. It does make your hair look thicker. I like because it is dryer so I don't have to wash it everyday like I used to have to do. I also use a hair thickener on it. Hang in there--I know how important my hair is--so I have sympathy for you.
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