OT/Q: being lied to | Arthritis Information

 

I have an OT question: I "should ",somehow, already know the answer but frankly I do not.

Not sure what the question is, Jode.  I'm sure it would be hard to make things clearer without giving any information....so..I'm not sure what to suggest.Jode, if you can't take action on the information itself, that can be very frustrating.  I think most of us are conditioned to want to take action on things and feel we are doing something wrong when we don't.  A meditation reassuring yourself that there was little or nothing you could do might be useful. A a few people have lied to me...not my children, concerning issues that completely changed my life. That is all I am willing to share online at this point. Jode- all I can offer is to have it out with the person(s) who have lied to you. I hate liars and prefer people to be upfront.Yeah, either confront the person...OR if like you say, there are way too many things going on in your life at the moment, then maybe for your sake, it might be best to let it go...especially if it won't change the outcome of anything.  But I understand the anger and wanting to confront the person who lied.  You just have to do what's best for you, Jode.Make sure that a confrontation is in Your best interest!  If a confrontation will make things worse than just hold onto the info, and do not confide in this person at all.  Just be careful!You have to get away from your Mother.you teach people how to treat you.  As long as you keep accepting disrespect you will continue to receive itWhile I believe Gimpy and Buckeye are both right about your mother...I also understand disentangling yourself from a situation like that can be incredibly difficult.

My first reaction when I read your post was this is the kind of situation where you need to take some time out to 'think' before you 'act' in anyway. You need to ponder over it for a time and I believe any action steps you need to take will come to you.

My second thought was...there will be grief and loss. If you have been lied to about things that significantly changed your life...the loss of that will surface and hit you in the face and you need to grieve what 'might have been' or 'could have been', had you not been lied too.

Don't rush anything...like I said take your time to process the situation as this sounds like a pretty big deal to you and your life.
I HATE LIARS. My mother lies to me and my family continously and when we have confronted her......well lets just say it doesn't go well. I guess it depends on the person that lied to you and how they handle being "found out".   For me--I just ignore my mother and her lies now. I don't call her out on it anymore--I don't need the stress in my life. Its just not worth it---so I guess thats what you need to figure out---Is it worth it to you??   AND will this person actually change?   if not, don't bother.

Good Luckwysone2008-03-06 13:08:54ALl I can comment on right now is that it happened many years ago but the lie had continued. I thank all of you for your assistance in this and will probably opt to not say anything at all. I have never known a confrontation of this magnatude to change anything for the better, at least not this type of confrontation. I cannot comment on who the lie was made from. No worries, Jode, those situations are never anything but awful. Betrayal is one of the nastiest things to feel. Pure yuk! And most of us have been there at some time. Glad you recognise the grief and loss involved in the situation probably more important for you to grieve than to confront at this point. I know you will get through it, you just have to go through the process. Hang in there, sweetie.   It has truly destroyed a huge part of me and has totally just about shut me down emotionally. IT absolutely ruined my life. I know I will never be the same person I was, not now, not after all this. I cannot ever regain all those years, I can never feel that joy I once felt. It makes we want to just puke then runaway as far as I can go ( with daughter of course). Jode - I have to admit, I have never been in a situation like you are describing.  However, I did have a therapist tell me once that the trick is to turn the problem back on to the other person.  We were discussing the incredibly stupid and hurtful things people say to you at times, because I am always so shocked, so I laugh it off, or minutes later realize I probably should have punched the person in the nose.  She said to say "Why do you say things like that to me when you know it will hurt me?"  I have only been on the ball to use it a few times, but its a remarkable technique.  Don't know if this will help, but I too have been betrayed in a horrifying manner, and you do live through it because God never gives you more than you can handle.  Cathy justsaynoemore2008-03-06 17:17:47And understandably, considering what an impact this has had on you. And of course, you have shut down emotionally, that's the grief, and you would probably be numb and shocked at the moment.

What a horrible thing to have happened. I am so sorry, Jode. Yes, it has been the worst thing I have ever gone through. It involves so many people, so many lives, all changed due to all this. I have just totally shut down. I have very little comment to anything for fear it will be all turned around. THis is no way to live an dI am grieving for my life.

 

THanks for all yoru support. Sadness and grief is a horrible place to be.

 

Jode

Jode I know I don't have much to offer.  Other than to say I am sorry you are hurting.  I will keep you in my prayers.  If you ever need a shoulder or just want to yell feel free to IM me.

 

I guess since it can't change anything maybe just wait.  There may come a good time for you to say what you know.  But if it won't do any good now I guess I would just try and hold off and take time to get in a better place.  (feeling wise that is). 

 

I wish you the best.

thanks so much....this is gonna take me awhile to wrap around my head...
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