Hope this week is better to you. Sounds like you need it.
Much hugs!
i live in memphis, tn. Ahhh... that explains the snow and warm weather only days apart LOL you were getting our sloppy seconds LOL! I am in Alabama. I have lived in TN before, but just barely over the TN-AL State Lines.hey joonie
i am sick of being sick. any advice? i am at the end of my rope. i cost and i cost. i bring misery to my family and husband. i think they would be better off without me in their lives. even this site would like me to disappear.....i am tired and sad. i am not a productive citizen. how do i handle that i am a failure in everyone's eyes.......
Wonderwoman....why do you think you are a failure?? You did not ask for this disease...none of us did, and it is not our fault. I admit, when I was first dxd, I felt kinda the same way, and pushed my husband away because i didn't think he deserved to be stuck with this crap...but I have sense learned that it is not my fault, and my husband and I are back together and working things out. This dx sucks, and takes away so much of 'us', but it is not your fault and you must remember that. Stay strong...you have us here for support, and though I do not know you very well, I can say that I don't want you to disappear!! You are not alone and here you have people that really understand...and you are not a failure in my eyes!!
Hugs
Deb
Hey WonderWoman.
I cannot really give you advice, as I have the same thoughts you are having right now. Some days I do not have those thoughts pounding around in my head, but those are mainly on my good days. I tend to think stuff like that when I am feeling bad, not doing so well RA/fibro wise, or even when it is time to refill my meds.
I ALWAYS have felt like a burden to people, every since I was a kid. I guess mine is because I started out JRA, but I do not remember feeling like such of a burden as I do now.
Take Monday for example... We had to travel an hour away to get me my Remicade infusion. On the way home... our car died. Of course, it was not really my fault, but I felt like it was my fault because if I did not have RA, we would not have had to drive that far. I would have had a job, and we would have had a new car 2 years ago.
That is how I think.
I told hubby I was sorry for being sick and everything is my fault because I am not able to do things like normal people. He told me it was not my fault, and it was on its last leg since October.
But still... the car is sitting in our front yard, because we do not have the money to fix it, which if I had a job we would have the money. And now he has to wake up at 5am to catch a ride to work with his dad and sit around for an hour before his time to work.
I still see it all as my fault.
You are not a failure in anyone's eyes but your own. That is what this disease makes us think of ourselves. It is not our fault that we have been dealt this hand, but we can hope for a redeal. I am hoping for a redeal soon, how about you?
I have always felt like a failure, except when I graduated high school, that was because I was the first person in my family to graduate high school and not drop out and get a GED. Since then I am still the only person in my family who has a high school dipolma. I am kinda proud of that.
Just remember your are not a failure. No one wants you disappear. Your family DOES need you. Even if it is to make sure they get up in time to go to work and school.
I usually think my family does not need me and would be better off without me, but when I am in a good state of mind, I find that one thing that they would need me for and cannot do right without me. For me that one thing is waking up on time for school and work. Without me they would never be on time for school or work. I might not be able to do much of anything else, but I sure can wake them up. LOL!
Much hugs susan! PM me if you need to.
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