how to keep sick people AWAY from you? | Arthritis Information

 

Hi to all my RA friends. It's been awhile since I've been on the boards. I've had a lot going on personally and health-wise and haven't been spending much time online lately. I hope you are all doing well. I have an issue I don't know how to handle and am wondering how others handle it. I am sick of being sick (not RA-sick, but that too). I, like many of you, am on immune suppressing drugs and I pick up every little bug that goes around. It seems no sooner am I over one type of bug, that I pick up something else. Today I feel like I'm going to snap. My best friend (who has health issues, but not RA-related) invited us over yesterday to see her new puppy. Her daughter and my son are the same age (9 years), so we spent an hour and a half or so hanging out and playing with the puppy. I always hug my friend's daughter and love her dearly. This morning I woke up with a fever and feeling miserable. My best friend called not long after I woke up to inform me that she was taking her daughter in to the doctor because she has a 103 degree fever and is very sick. She told me that she hadn't been feeling well all weekend. Grrrrr! Why didn't she tell me her daugther was sick before I came over? My friend is very aware of my health issues, my meds, immune function issues, etc.  I feel very bad for her daughter and hate that she's sick. I'm really hurt and upset that my friend didn't let me know that her daughter was sick before I came over there. I would have chosen to come another time, especially as I have a very crazy week at work this week (I am the owner/director of an agency and this is the big week for us to secure our funding for the Fall). It has been bothering me all day that she put me at risk of getting ill - and I'm angry that I'm sick again. I don't have time to be sick this week. I really don't. I am very emotional (from fever I'm assuming) and have been in tears about this all day. I'm at the point now where I'm willing to risk looking like a fool and wear a face mask at all times. How do you guys protect yourself from getting sick? Especially those of you on immune suppressing drugs? Obviously if someone sounds sick, or looks sick, it's easy to stay away from them. But I had no idea my friend's daugther had a bad sore throat all day yesterday and a mild fever (that later got very high). I'm at the point now where I feel like every interaction I have with people, needs to be prefaced by asking if they, or anyone around them, is sick - so I can protect myself. Also, how do I get over this anger and hurt? I don't want to hurt my friend's feelings - especially since she's dealing with a sick child, but how do I let go of this? I am a mess today. I feel like I'm about one step away from "crazy". thanks, juliahI've been so lucky not to really have this problem. Even while on Humira I've been lucky not to catch too much and I deal with the public daily. I think some catch things quicker than other's.

Like Lovie I've been very lucky and haven't had this problem.  In the last 3 years I've had 1 sinus infection and no colds, until this week.  We were in Vegas with family for the week and had all of our little nieces and nephew around all week.  I knew going in that I would probably get a cold and I did.  It's my fault, but I also know that I wouldn't have traded all those hugs and kisses for anything.  Other than this week I've been careful.  The next time your friend invites you, and you know her daughter is going to be there, just come right out and ask her if her daughter is well.  If she isn't then you know what you have to do.  Yup I agree.  For your sake just ask if anyone is sick or has been sick recently. Juliah,  I'm so sorry that you are sick again. It's so difficult to keep up with deadlines and appointments, from the RA alone. You already have bad days from RA, then having to be on guard against any infections, too, has got to be exhausting. I had the same issue being on chemo. All the people you love can literally be the death of you. I wound up with pneumonia. Very scary and debilitating. I stayed home mostly and even made myself content to watch church services online. I still get nervous about where I go now. Probably more than I should but it pays to be considerate of one's immune system.

This hits home with me; some of my coworkers think I'm overboard on using Purell or washing my hands when someone grabs my pen or uses my keyboard.  Some people really do not understand that if you're on some of the medications that we're on, you just can't afford to get sick.  There are germs everywhere and truly you could have caught your virus from anyone but i'd say that if I were you I would explain it to my friend again and just say that you love getting together, but if anyone in her family is sick to give you the heads-up so that you can make the decision whether or not to get together.

My brother is having liver surgey to remove a tumor. I agree with Nini, some people just don't "get it" and you have to very specifically tell them that you are on drugs that suppress your immune system and you are suseptible to germs more than most people.  Even if you've told her before, tell her again.  You might even want to let her know you caught her daughter's illness.  Finally, whenever anyone wants to get together with you, ask about their health first.  Since you do seem to be germ-sensitive, you have to be especially diligent.  I've been lucky I still don't catch anything, but I'm also careful.  I keep hand cleaner in the car and wash my hands immediately when I get home and whenever I think I may have been exposed to germs.  I'm really sorry you're sick again, especially at this busy time.  No wonder you're so frustrated.  The people who love you have to respect your health issues and be supportive.  Otherwise, they're not really your friend.   i haven't had this problem sorry you are haveing to deal with this espeacially this week i just wanted to say hi haven't talked to you in a long time. good luckDo not hug, kiss or touch other peoples children. Wash your hands when you leave a situation that you think might be germy, like school, desk at work when your co-worker has 6 kids under 10.

Actually what can you say? People just don't get it. At work my co-worker was complaining because her sister in law (on Chemo) who can't catch anything insisted on only letting visitors who had the flu shot. The co-worker said she was a hypochrondiac about it. The woman had cancer and was getting chemo and she called her a hypochrondiac. So, if they don't get it for that they certainly are not going to get it from us.

Ask next time you visit and every time forever. Is anyone sick or has been sick in the last week? Point blank. After awhile she will get annoyed that you keep asking and will get it.

Before I was on DMARDS I had this problem and turned into a germophopic and now never get sick. Thank goodness.

Anna

everytime i leave anywhere i keep wet wipes in my purse.  i use them.  if i know they are likely to be sick.  (i have a friend they are always sick and she never tells you until after you are there.  she thinks it is funny to make others sick.)  i go home bathe from top to bottom-- hair everything.  i even flush out my nose with a netty pot.   people do not get it, plain and simple, and they are not ever going to.  because they feel fine.   i would love for some scientists to follow around one idiot with the flu and just show that person how many people they have made sick and possibly killed by their unwillingness to stay home for a few days. 

[QUOTE=wanttobeRAfree]My brother is having liver surgey to remove a tumor. I'm so sorry you're not feeling well and hope you'll be on the mend soon. I dunno...it's just not something I worry about.  [QUOTE=Linncn]

Maybe she just wasn't thinking.  I think it's up to you to ask before you go over.  I guess you can't expect everybody to remember everything you require, ya know?  [/QUOTE]

I can barely get my husband and daughters to tell me when they're coming down with something, so I can't expect the same consideration from friends. I think it's thoughtless and that they don't get it, but I also think it's up to you to ask. If someone comes over to the house and they're coughing or sniffing I ask, "Are you sick?" I do the same with my family, although they say you're most infectious in the first days. Then I stay away from them, I wipe everything down when they leave, I wash my hands like a maniac and keep my hands from my face. I do the same at work. My boss keeps everyone away from my desk. She even went so far as to cover it with a sheet of plastic when the rest of the office was sick. But the buck really only stops with you and I think your spending needed energy being mad at your friend. Now you know next time to ask.When my children were babies, and we were invited to someone's home or it was a holiday and I'd be having company I always asked everyone (before they came) "Is anyone sick?" because I didn't want to risk my little babies getting sick. The same should hold true for us. I think nothing of asking someone before I go to their house if anyone has a cold or something. Although, the thing I find soooo uncomfortable is in church when you have to turn to all the people around you and shake hands. I HATE THAT!!! Especially in the winter when I KNOW the person next to me has been sneezing and sniffling into their hands all service. I saw a woman about two months ago in church who immediately got some hand sanitizier out of her bag and cleaned her hands off. Anyway, just my two cents. I hope you feel better soonWear gloves to church.
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