Yeah, yeah. It is my turn to vent.
I think I do not feel good because I have worried myself to feeling bad.
Every since hubby lost his good job we have been struggling to pay our bills, have enough food to last until next check, we keep borrowing money from in-laws, we owe money to the propane company since last December, and the list goes on and on.
I am the only one who worries about how bills are going to get paid and so on. Hubby does not think about any of it until it is time to figure out how we can pay our bills and have food for the week.
I want to go back to the doctor to get on better meds, but we do not have enough money for me to go, and then there is also finding a way to get to the doctors office.
I was thinking since we are paying 5/month for daughter to go to school, that we should let her go to public school. But hubby will not have that! Because she would have to ride on the bus an hour each way. I say the kid is 7 years old and knows how to take care of herself. Let her ride the bus...it will be good for her.
I have been trying to come up with ways to help our finacial woes. And I have came up with getting a job myself, which looks like it is going to be impossible.
Hubby to go back to work working for my sister when he gets off his first job, which he says is no freaking way he is doing that again.
Then there is for me and the kids to move in with my mommy. It will save almost 0/month. Daughter will get to go to public school, which is in walking distance from my mom's. The electric bill will be lower, because no one will be home thru the day to run the air or leave lights on. I will not have to worry about who is going to tend to Andrew when i run out of pred, because I will have my mommy's help. Plus I will have all the food I like and want. I am thinking this is the best plan, but I know hubby will not go for it.
He just does not understand how much I worry about how we are going to pay for food, break money, money for gas so he can go to work, and the list just keeps going. I know if he lets me do this it will make him feel like he cannot provide for his family, but he can it is just his bills he has accumulated that he cannot provide for.
Oh well, sorry to post this just needed some way to get his off my chest without telling it to hubby and upsetting him.
Thanks for listening. I will probably delete it soon anyways, as long as no one replies to it.
June Hi June, I'm sure that the stress of all this is what's making you feel crappy. Have you talked with your husband about moving in with your mother? If it saves money until you get a few of the bills paid, it might make sense to do. It's hard to know what to do sometimes. Wish things were better for you. Kelly Hi June, here is what I do know. STRESS is an awful thing and can do terrible things to our bodies. We need stress to motivate us into making changes that we need to but unfortunately when there is no relief from our stresses, it effects our bodies and how it functions. Since "bad stress" attacks the autoimmune system, this could be definately why you are feeling the way you do. More pain, more worry, more pain...you see the cycle. I have been where you are (being a single mom and raising my boys on my own with no financial input from their father) and have suffered terribly for it. I worked two jobs, sometimes three and I think that's when the onset of my RA set in. Nowadays, I only have 1 job and am never going to take on anymore of that. I know back in the days of raising my boys, everytime the end of the month came and the rent was due, I would always get a cold or feel like I was getting a cold, I would ache with flu like symptoms, then when the money freed up again, I would start to feel like my old self again. You could try talking to hubby and communicate how bad you are feeling and talk about ways to rectify the situation .. even if it's a temporary fix..and it may mean lessening all of your expenses including your daughters school fees. He may not like it but he may have to swallow it. Right now it's all about fixing a bad situation. I know you will work it out June, you're a very smart person with a lot of insight and you know how to persevere. Talk to hubby, you may be surprised by the results. Best of luck to you and keep that very positive attitude that you have, you'll make it, I just know you will.
Well, hubby got mad about my "solution". It upset him to where he stopped talking and listening to what I had to say. He is so bull headed and stubborn. After messing with him and making him smile again I proceeded to continue the convesation, but he refused to comment with words other then "stupid idea", "no", "Your crazy" and some others I just did not retain. His "solution" was to work more over time. Oh well, more power to him. I understand that there are going to be hard times. We have had them before, but this is by far the worst. I just feel like it is my fault. Because I chose not to work when I could have worked. I can work now, but nothing like a cashier at Wal-Mart... I would look like the walking dead that cries from being in pain...lol. Oh well, I know it will work out. I am just tired of giving up stuff so everyone else can have. I gave up buying new clothes when we were first married. Then I gave up on buying my wants. Now, I have given up my food. And probably soon I will have to give up my internet service. But hey that is what a loving wife and mother does, sacrafic. Life Sux! hope this helps............ Lulu Hey lulu...thanks for the idea. I have thought of that about a year ago, but have yet how to figure out how I would go about doing it. We have thought about opening up a computer learning center/ repair, but neither one of us really knows how repair computers. I have thought about taking the A+ Certification at the local community college to repair computers, but I have no way to get to school and no one to watch my Andrew while I am at school. Maybe when hubby FINALLY decides to add me to his car insurnce, I can drive more then get a my driver's license. Then all I would need to do is find someone to watch Andrew. Jackie - Internet service is one thing hubby will not let go of...lol. But he might have to, after they go to charge his credit card and they are declined...lol. Glad to see you logged in, how you feeling?? We miss you here.....and in the "rumpus room" I hope today was a better day
Pam - I am doing much better today. I took 10mg of pred last night so some of them swelling and inflammation went down. I am just having problems with my neck, back and shoulders now. Roxy - Yeah, I know it is stress that is making me feel this way, but if I do not worry about it, it would never get done on time..lol. I am so happy to hear you have your honey and are feeling a lil better! Shelli - Thanks for the "reference"
Joonie, I like Lulu's idea. You know that could be great in a senior citizen community. You could talk to the main office and maybe you could have them distribute a flyer to their community members. Everyone would live within the community easier for you and great for them. I know my elderly aunts and uncles (who am I kidding, me too) would love someone to help them. Probably could'nt charge as much in a community like this, but never the less could make some extra money. Just a thought (always thinking of ya)
I will look into it. Jooniper, I'm sorry you are having such a hard time. It is true that most of us have experienced what you are going through when we were just starting out and had young kids. I did too! I hope things work out for you. If you don't want to or can't work, check into your local county offerings. They have lots of help out there but you have to do a little research and find them. It's okay to ask for help. We all need a hand once in a while. Hey Joonie,How are you doing today?Hubby coming around to your idea yet. I don't know if you remember but we were in foreclosure not to long ago.The stress of that made everything so much worse. Have you ever thought about taking an online course that has something to do with computers.Also you could try to get several grants to help pay for your education.But that doesn't help the situation now,I know. I too no longer buy clothes for myself inless it is at goodwill,which I don't really mind.I just hate I can't buy clothes for Carrie,most of her wardrobe came from goodwill.Amber works and can afford nice things which is great.She is not use to it and I have to encourage her to buy things for herslef cause she is use to having very little.She always buys stuff for Carrie. Are you not on disability?You should be.Atleast your meds. would be free and you would have some money to help with groceries. I sure hope things work out soon.I know you are worried. Love, Hi Kathy, I do not know much about bookkeeping. I did take 2 years of Accounting/Bussiness Ed in high school and made all A's. But I only took the clas because I got to work on computers...lol. I do not trust my computer repair skills lol. I only fix my computer and the in-laws computers. I am good at trouble shooting. And if I cannot figure out how to fix the problem I research it on the internet. Thanks for the ideas!
I know where you're at. I was there for such a long time and the stress really does make you ill. It's horrible I know. I also know what it's like to feel like you're the only one worrying. Chances are your husband worries a lot more than he lets on. The moving in with your Mother is a bad idea Joonie....either way. If you go and leave him where you are now....you will be apart too much....that leads to problems in your marriage. If you both go there it's only going to put more stress on you and your relationship. Didn't you mention once that he and your mother weren't the best of friends? You need your privicy anyway. Years ago I worked part time from home doing some data entry type stuff. I was lucky and knew some people that needed someone to fill this position and it was fine to do it from home. There could be more of these type of jobs available as well. I knew another lady who did medical transcriptions from home for our local hospital. There's also tons of "Work From Home" opprotunities on the web. Be careful while researching them though....use a different email address than usual because you'll end up getting a ton of unwanted JUNK emails. Maybe talk to some local business owners in your area and see if any of them do bulk mailings that you might could process from home. You know; folding, stuffing and sticking type of things. Maybe place an ad in your local newspaper for work from home opprotunites? You're between a rock and a hard place Jooine. I remember that feeling very well. I still think you should prefect your sewing skills and use that as a money maker. When I was growing up my mother use to take in alterations for the local dry cleaners. She worked hard for her money I won't fool ya; but it provided her an opprotunity to be a stay at home mom and contribute to the household finances as well. And although I agree that an hour long bus ride is a long one....private school is a luxury that you might not be able to affford right now. Hang in there Sweetie. Lovie Joonie, Sorry to hear what your going through,I agree with Lovie,put your skills to work-I sold items on ebay about 6 years ago to make extra money,my sister makes wedding arrangements and is going to have me set her up to sell on there.Good luck-but live apart it will only bring more problems,Sherry Thanks for your replies guys! Well, the me moving in with mommy did not fly, it got shot down in mid air...lol. Sherry - we do sell things on eBay, but it is kinda slow on eBay right now, unless you have something very hard to find or rare. We mostly sell off daughter left over Yu-Gi-Oh cards that we were buying her. The kid needs a collection to learn how to take care of things. Right now we have sold all the good cards that would get something and then rest will get squat...lol. Lovie - I understand about the ruin my relationship part. I did not really think about that. I still vote 1hr bus ride...lol. I have given up on worrying. I only tend to worry about the bills and all like I did when I am feeling bad and feel like I am going to have flare. But I am not feeling like that so I am not as depressed. Again thanks guys! Could you watch 2 kids after school till their parents can come after work? An extra a week from baby sitting, and public school would help the budget, a little more overtime for hubby, slowly solve the problem? You are creative Junie - think up something better. (I find trying to solve problems relieves stress, much better than worrying.) Hi marian, I am not a big fan of kids...lol. I like them from newborn - 3yrs old, then again when they are about 12 years old...lol. But no I cannot tend to 2 more kids, I can barely tend to my own son, thru the day. I have so much fatigue and want to sleep so much, it is awful! But, my son is like me and likes to sleep, so we sleep alot, especially on cloudy and rainy days. I use to watch sis-in-laws daughter for free, when I was first pregnant, but I had to stop because I could not handle her poppy diapers, made morning sickness worst. Hubby now watches her when her mom needs someone to watch her. She does not ask me anymore because I tell her no, but to ask hubby if he will, which he always does...lol. We go to town with 3 kids! It is weird, we went from 1 kid to 3 in less then a year...lol. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hopefully I will find something soon. Do not know what, but something. I guess I will end up having to push my limits, and get an actual physical labor job...lol. Like working at Wal-Mart as cashier. If I go to work there, I can always find a ride to work...lol...everyone loes to go to Freak-Mart...lol. Hi, With that kind of background in accounting you could easily learn bookkeeping. I love Quicken. For me the problem was more overcoming the fatigue and pain to get the work don consistently. It's so hard. I have a copy of Quicken that I'm not using that I could get to you if you want. You could practice with it until you feel good about it. Right now computer repair is a nightmare because of the viruses/malware going around. I had to go to the hosp yesterday for a colonoscopy and I had 3 emergency computer calls while I was there. I don't even advertise but once I got started I got a lot of word of mouth referrals but it's so hard to resspond sometimes especially when we feel the way we do. If I can do anything to help let me know. I hear that on the kids - me too. How about a phone or internet customer service job - where you work from home? Get a wireless walk around headset so you don't have to hold phone to your ear. Here a blurb from an article I read: At the same time, Florida has become fertile hiring ground for companies on the prowl for call center employees interested in working from their homes -- cyberagents. LiveOps, which has 500 independent home-based customer service agents in Florida is making a move through Internet ads and word-of-mouth recruiting to hire more people. It wants to hire 50 to 100 agents a week to handle incoming callers responding to infomercials.
LiveOps, who says its teleworkers are independent contractors who work from home, choose their hours, and get paid by the minute for the time spent with a caller.
''We're looking for people who are Internet savvy and want flexibility,'' said Tim Whipple, vice president of agent services.
And, Willow CSN, a Miramar company, wants to hire another 1,500 cyberagents by Dec. 1. Willow's workforce tends to be older than PRC's, an average age of 38. About 70 percent of its workforce is in Florida.
CEO Basil Bennet says his firm looks for mature, college educated workers who earn compensation based on performance. Most, he says, earn well above minimum wage. Bingo Joonie....that's perfect for you!! Nothings going to be easy; you're going to have to put some effort into it....but that sounds like it's right up your alley. I know it says Florida...but it also says "70% of their work force is in Florida" I'd call them and see if maybe you could get on amoung the 30% outside of Florida. It's worth looking into. And I'm glad to hear you say "I'm not a huge fan of kids" I love my children....but other peoples kids drive me up a wall. Having two step sons has been a HUGE adjustment for me. I know that's a statement that's not exactly what you might expect from "Lovie" but i get a little grouchy sometimes....and illbehaved children set that off real quick!! Thanks Guys! I will look into it. Lovie - No was not surprised, about the kid comment...lol. A lot of folks do not like other peoples kids, and well I do not. Just they way I am.
What if your whole family moved in with your parents short term to save
money and pay off some bills? Either way, it's not going to be an
easy decision.
Good luck and I hope everything works out for you.
Sheila
I'm not a kid person either...but I did babysit a couple times in our
marriage to bring in money...thought I was gonna go nuts...sold things
on eBay, one of my aunts used to let me bake her a cake every week and
she would pay me .
Good luck Joone, I hope that things will get better for you.
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