sick of explaining myslef | Arthritis Information

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my in laws had a labor day picnic last night we went but by night time im good for nothing, i had to go to the bathroom my husband was walking with me because by back hurt so bad, my brother in law through marriage said to him oh she had to much to drink you already have to hold her up, i didnt even drink it was my back was in so much pain , he later said why dont you go to a chiropractor and have him crack your back, i like to give him a crack  people are just ignorant, well that ruined my night and was ready to leave, crying of course, i just people would understand its not like having a cold and you get better, its a cronic disease   thanks for listening  debbie in pa

I'm sorry you're in such pain and someone was disconnected enough to make a really careless comment.  We've all been there, and it's a bummer.  Even being just diagnosed in May, I have quite a few of those stories already.  I have learned quickly to put that kind of thing on ignore.  It is pure ignorance and does'nt deserve your energy.  It's too bad it's coming from within your family. Is it your sister's husband?  Maybe if you could get her to educate him a little bit he would learn to keep his comments to himself. I'm so sorry, it's hard enough to be in pain at a picnic, but then to be spoken to like that

I hope you're feeling better and that this day is good to you

 

Hope today is better for you

Lulu

in addition to the spoon theory...there's the letter to normals from fibrohugs...
FibroHugs - The Letter To Normals
 and just so you don't have to dig around bydls...although I highly reccommend digging around there... the link to the story itself. 
Spoons

and for future reference these should be in the newly dxed? links section.  if not, they will be!

My husband made a comment today that I had to straighten him out on.

Amber went to visit her boyfriend which Jimmy(Husband btw) can't stand(I don't really like him either).He said kinda of spitful, "Well I guess she feels better". I said no, thats not how it works.Just because she is out and doing something doesn't mean she is ok,she is just trying to live her life.Now that my pain has been constant for now 4 months,I truly see what Amber has been going through all these years.I even would think things like, if she feels so bad how can she jump up and go to a movie when asked by a friend.Well, now I see she just wants to be normal despite the pain and fatigue.I knew she was hurting,could see it,even Jimmy could.But in his mind if you are up and out of bed and walking then you are now OK

If I weren't afraid of going to hell, I would really piss some people off and let the words fly.I am in a bad mood right now, sorry for being a little edgy.I  still love you all.

Sheila

Sheila honey..I am right there with ya!  My hubby, as I write, is at a labor day party - I told him to just go - he understands(I think)but I'm not sure anyone at the party would.  Would rather stay home than try to explain - we all know how Amber must feel ....& to be so young!  She's got alot of life to live!  I say what goes around comes around....hope you feel better soon

Lulu

thats my problelm too i wish i could tell people to go to hell, and thanks for the response let me clerify it was my husbands sisters husband not my sisters husbands, big difference they are supportive, my husbands family ignorant they dont want to understand chronic pain or ilness, there are  the people who go to bed with a cold.   not bitter am i .  thanks again  love ya debbiei just read the letter from fibro friends, and im sitting here crying, but it is so true, i wish i had guts to send to to them. its just a bad weekend and tomorrow will be 3 yrs. that my mom died, i was with her when she passed away ,and i miss her so much, she was one who really understood my ilness, not that she is gone i have no one to cry to.  thanks again

I could not help but post here. My mother in law has a back problem and sometimes she will ask me what's wrong? I'll say I don't just hurting a little today. She says lord what if you hurt like me? I also have to put my brain on ignorant mode.I dont' say anything but boy do I think it. Sometimes I know I will not be able to keep my mouth shut so I just dont' go. Its hard though because I am the best daughter in law she has.I have a little cold today and I told my momma I was so glad it was me and not my husband because he would be out of work the rest of the week.(lol) I think all and all, we must all have a high tolerance to pain to survive and have the ignorant mode for all those people in our lives that would not last a day in our bodies. 

Debv60, I am sorry that you feel the one person who understood you pain is gone. I would like to tell you, there's a whole lot of us here we understand and we love you. I know the in law thing from front to back and I know your pain.I know this was yesterday and I hope your today was better.If you need to talk one on one, just let me know.

 

debv60 and Sheila1366, my thoughts and prayers are with you.  I too have taken offense at things said or what I preceived to be meant and the truth is, at least for myself, I need to learn to let it go.  If I don't, I end up regretting what I say and the stress and shame that I end up feeling for myself just sets off another flair.   

My daughter, who is only 16, has been going through this with me all of her life and although I don't think she means it, she can says things that hurt my feelings (mostly out of immaturity).  I realize she doesn't understand and sometimes I am a big bummer for her but as we all know, it isn't done on purpose.  Each day brings each of us good and bad days.  I too want to appear and be normal so I totally understand why people push themselves.  What others don't realize is that sometimes we pay a high price for that feeling of normal.

I hope you both feel better soon!   

thanks you guys for being there and your thoughts and prayers, yes yesterday was very hard on me and my other 2 sisters, and also my 2 kids, my 16 yr. old daughter and 15 yr. old son, my son especially cried like a baby last night and wished his nana was here to see him start high school,, we all just sat there and cried. but i know she is with us all, and its really weird and i know your probably going to think i am crazy, but when im really down she comes to me in the form of roses my whole room fills with the fragrence of roses{ i told you it was weird}  but true, it sure gives me a good feeling to know she still watches over us, and yes my husband has wittnessed the roses also. so thank you again and today is a new day.I don't think your weird; I find that very comforting.  Someone similar happened to me once so I know exactly what you mean.  I hope you get that comfort often!

 

debv60,

 (((HUGS,HUGS,HUGS)))

Don't let these people pull you down anymore than you already are.

Who are these people?  Evidently  non-feeling, no-caring  idiots!!!

They are not worth your time of day or your emotional well being, even if they are your family or friends.

Keep close to those who truly have your best interest at heart 

 

Please try to keep your chin up...

Toni

 

thanks guys you are the best, at least you are very understanding.
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