Just got off the phone with my mother,that only called to talk about my nephew who she just found out was having a baby out of wedlock.Been a big secret,I guess my sister finally thought it was time to tell my parents.Mother only calls to gossip,compare how bad she has it and tell me about my dads bowel habits.
I know all about depression and I am sure my parents were having there share of it then and now.But I too suffer from depression/bipolar and constant pain.I don't put my girls through the crap they put us through. My mom says that my dad says we are sorry,well I know she says the same thing.My grandmother lived one house down from us where I grew up.Never did my dad go visit her,never.My mom would go years without calling or visiting her parents.I'm sure they had hard times when they were kids, I think we all have some memories of times we were hurt emotionally or physically.But,give me a break.I have done sooooo much to try to act like we have a normal family,too much.I am so mad
I am beyond knowing what to do.I am gonna take my meds. a few extra klonopins and try not to cry.If I won a million dollars,we would be gone so fast from this place.I have always wanted move from the place I was raised.Too many bad memories. When you are a child you bond to love your parents no matter what they do,and it is unfair.I wish I didn't care so much. I would not hurt like this. Ok, I'm done.Thanks again for listening to my problems.I keep saying I am gonna keep my mouth shut but here I am again. Love you all, Talking helps healing. Sheila, your life if yours to live. For you, by you. Please yourself and f*** the losers. Mike Simply but beautifully put MIke
How to remedy the situation, I can't say. I can't even find a suitable solution to this rooster removal yet, so would not dare to offer up any advice. And you post all you want. Good to get it off you chest, if nothing else. Hulagirl, I would be having me some fried chicken if I were you. Thanks for posting,every post helps especially Mikes. He is good looking and has a pretty good head on his shoulder.
Love you all, Sheila, I am sorry about your parents. Sometimes it seems like parents don't know when to stay out of their children's problems. I try not to get involved unless I'm asked. The less information I know the less I stress about them. I have even told them not to involve me if they can keep from it. My mother and I were very close and I miss her so much everyday. She was my best friend and we talked daily and after she died I found out how much I really appreciated her. I hope this doesn't happen in your family. I know parents can be difficult but once they are gone you can not get that time back. So try to make the best of what time you do have with them. This is probably to much information. But I do hope it helps. I know it is none of my business. Just trying to help. I am back.I am yo-yoing from ok to not ok.Bipolar sucks.I have what they call mixed episodes where you can have a degree of mania(mine is obbsesive thoughts of hurting myself,feeling like I am going insane,which I have been there and thats what scares me) and depression.it is an awful state to be in.Depressed and feeling crazy at the same time.I have some risperdal at the pharmacy,I think I am gonna go get it.been off it for a year.It is an anti-psychotic med.I just took 3 klonopin,suppose to take only 2 but it takes alot to calm me down and to control my pain.I just want to be alone right now but that is the worst place for me cause that is where I get destructive to myself.I had a breakdown when I was 18, I remember the first day it hit.My mom came home from work and I was sitting in a chair in the living room.All I know is that I had been sitting there along time.It was as if i was in a trance.I was hearing voices,like a radio signal from several stations coming through.I could barely speak,I was extremely disconnected from reality.My parents just put me in my room and did nothing.I really don't know how long i layed there like that.But the fear of it happening again is always in my mind.I am so jumpy and nervous,the way I get before I get weirded out.Better get risperdal soon. Just had to stop and make a call to pharmacy,risperdal is ready for pick and husband is picking it up on the way home.Should be not giving a crap pretty soon. Just luck you all are...I don't even have RA,atleast we think,I do have fybro and a mental disorder that disturbs myself and others.You have a handle full here.But once I get on my "Happy Pills" there is no telling what might come out of my mouth.Where joonie may not be feeling very funny now I just might fill in and weird everyone out with my doped up humor. Love you all, Sheila...I understand the bipolar "episodes" - although I am not, a close friend of mine is - many times in the psych ward getting meds straightened out. Since her doc put her on Serequel(sp?) everything has evened out - is that an option for you? I know she has a tendency to want to take ANYthing to stop the pain..emotional that is. Please careful.....hug
Lulu Well I offically don't give a s**t anymore.Took my risperdal and am feeling much more relaxed.Maybe too relaxed.Getting sleepy now.
Love you all,
Sheila
Sheila
But, you need to do what is best for you and your girls....if it means
getting rid of the toxic people, so be it. It's tough but for the
best.
hugs, wayney
Sheila
Sheila-I am so sorry to hear about all this that you
are having to deal with...and have had to deal with all
your life. I can't believe your mom didn't even get you
treatment when you were young. I understand about
worrying every day about your dad and his suicide
thrreats...my mom was the same way-only with pills
(think I mentioned this before-I have a terrible
memory).
I wish your relationship with your family was better,
as they are so important, but don't think they will
change. It's not fair of your mom to call and gossip
and dump on you. You have to really protect yourself
and be really careful as to what you let in. You
deserve so much more out of life. I wish I had
answers but the only thing I know is you have to
focus on you and your health first.
I have a friend whose mom and sister are incredibly
hard to deal with and hurtful. She finally had to take
control back and limit her contact with them-even not
answering the phone sometime. She sends an
email once in awhile just to keep in touch, but that's
about all right now. Anyway I'm going on too long
with opinions and stuff so I will end now.
I'm glad you got your medicine. Rest and take care
of your self.
Tara
Sheila
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