I wonder why our doctor's advice varies so much? My doctor told me 2-3 drinks weekly while I'm on MTX is ok. But with the hangover feeling already there without the drink, I usually don't at all. St Patricks Day I kinda felt obligated.
Okay, what I am reading in your message is not that you miss the drink so much, it is that your hubby is being insensitive and basically rude to you.
Hang in there, if you don't let him see that he is making you upset eventually he will lose interest in trying to goad you into a drink.
Or................ you could have the big talk which I find doesn't always work. You know, the one where you threaten him within an inch of his life if he doesn't lay off the subtle hints.
Good Luck
Karen
Mrs. A- what dose MTX are you on? I take 15 MG per week. My first doctor said Not a drop! I read info that said abstain or no more than 2 per month, current doctor says "occassionally"....it's very confusing
Besides quoting the medical implications I have mentioned that it bothers me to watch him drink my favorite drink and that when he is feeling "happy" because of it- it's not fun for me to not be on the same wavelength.
Snowpeak- I kind of miss the drink- but yeah it's more that he knows I can't have one and keeps asking me to. I think maybe that makes him feel entitled to go ahead and have one.
Funny when I do have one it's pretty much lost it's appeal. Doesn't taste the same and usually just makes me fall asleep.
Is there something specific about the alcohol consumption that he's hitting at?
Did you use to "losen up" or giggle more? Or is it just that "thats what we did" kinda thing? Like, it's more of a tradition that he feels he's losing?
Cause why couldn't you do something like, change up to margaritas, but make yours a virgin? You could still "drink" together. He can have his full on, and yours virgin. And you'd still get that nice mellow moment, of kicking back, sipping a drink, and enjoying each other.
Ya know?
Well I have to admit- I probably did loosen up and giggle more...
Yeah- I guess he is forced to accept a life style change as well.
So are you up for trying the margaritas? Or any other mixed drink like that - pina coladas, mudslides etc etc.
You know, then you can include the drink making time too - both of you in the kitchen getting it together and mixing it up. Maybe buy some new cups for your drink time together. And you'd need to explain to him that it's okay that his has alcohol, and yours doesn't.
That is, if it really is okay with you.
Well he does not seem to be into wanting anything to change. Seems he is probably more in denile. But yes this always comes across as rude when loved ones are in denile. I always get a little angry when people act that way. I am proud of you for sticking to guns. Your health is important.
If i did have mix and boo's for an ocassional drink someone else would drink it for me and say well it's just been sitting around for months. LOL My sons girl hid a bottle from her sister up by my coffee. I teased her one morning i said you think because i don't drink that was safe up there. I said as much pain as i was in that morning i was tempted to pour that into my coffee.
Maybe you can find your self a treat like cheese and crackers and olives for movie night. I drink veggie juice and my son calls them my bloody mary's. Or maybe an occassional weak wine spitzer. But not every week.
I used to keep pina colda mix and rum around. My ex would get into my rum and drink to much and ruin the evening. I was not even on any medicine, but one occassionally and i was always ready for bed afterward. Actually he still has my blender. So the next time i go out for a nice seafood dinner i am going to have a pina colada. But honestly i guess it is easier for me scince i do not keep any thing around that would be tempting for me.
I think he is being rude and insensitive. I would be worried to drink and take these meds. I would be afraid to take my relafen at night. One time about a year or so ago, I did have a few beers with my sister and it made me hurt more and I didn't take relafen because I worried about mixing it with alcohol. All it did was make me sick and I really didn't enjoy it; the taste and the feeling.
I agree with Katie and Snowpeak. Set him straight and tell him that your health is important to you and have a "virgin" mixed drink. I like 7-up mixed with fruit punch. Get or use some cool glasses and put your feet up and relax with him like you used to.
I took a long hard look inside and found I DO miss the drink. I miss loosening up and giggling. A virgin drink isn't going to do that for me. All that will do is give me extra calories I don't need. (Not that I need the alcohol calories either).
I am resenting my husband because he doesn't have to give up his drink. I have the RA not him. I will compromise my health if I don't adhere to abstainence not him. He is the one tempting me by having it in the house and drinking it in front of me. To top it off offering it to me and sometimes coercing me even to drink.
I know he shouldn't be asking me if I want a drink at this point and he really shouldn't be telling me oh go ahead- it's really ok but it really wouldn't be fair to tell him I can't drink so neither can you.
I don't know how I'm going to deal with this.
Wow no one ever told me that I didn't have to drink on mtx. I don't really drink, but I do every now and then. OY docs! I was on it for a couple years, and probably will go on it again tomorrow. I go see a new doc in the morning.Well, my husband and I are avid wine enthusiasts. We love going to tastings, collecting rare wines etc. What I used to do when i was on mtx (for all of two weeks!) was have a white wine spritzer (1/2 white wine and 1/2 seltzer). My dr. asked me how much I drink. I said about two a night. One while cooking dinner and one with dinner. He said "CAn you cut it down to one a night?" and I said "Yes". That one was split into two spritzers. I am now on Arava and Enbrel and still have my one - two glasses on most nights and all of my liver tests have come back normal.
Another person I know has a daughter w/ra who is 23 years old. She told her dr. that she finally hit 21 and wanted to be able to go out and socialize with her peers and go to bars and that not drinking was not for her. Not that she was a big drinker anyway but it was a quality of life issue for her. Her dr. agreed and together they came up with her taking the Enbrel and so far so good. I think everybody has hit on the complicated issues that a lifestyle change brings to all involved parties, so I'll leave that alone, plus the confusing mixed info that comes from everybody's various rheums. Here is a mild cocktail that feels like a 'real' drink:
1/3 pink grapefruit juice (unless you are also on a med that reacts to grapefruit juice)
1/3 ginger ale or Sprite
1/3 cheap white wine, like Rhine or whatever comes in a big cheap jug.
Serve over ice in a glass, you can have up to three and only really have one glass of wine. So you could have six a month, I guess.
When we go to the beach, I mix a batch of these. Take your grapefruit juice bottle, and pour 2/3 into something else, then fill the bottle up with 1/3 ginger ale and finish off with the wine. It keeps a long time.
I'm on 10mg of MTX weekly and I've been on that for over a year. I very rarely drink as I hate the way I feel the next day. Even with just ONE, I have an uber hangover the next day. If I drink more than one in an evening (which is extremely rare), it seems like the hangover lasts 2-3 days. Yuck!!
I think the girls have offered up some pretty good alternatives for ya. Drinking for me used to be a pretty big thing, but after being dx'd and with the meds I'm on it's not so much anymore. It took a while, but I'm ok with it. :) You really need to to let him know how he's making you feel though. You've had to lose your chillaxin ritual and to have him parade around with his drink is just not fair to you. He's going to have to make some changes to support ya!
I pretty much stopped drinking many years ago. Never a problem with club soda and such around, no one knew and no one cared. I like a beer for St. Patrick's day and that's about it.
I had the very difficult experience of watching someone die from the effects of alcohol at a rather early age. In a word, it was horrible. The doctors told me that there was no way to predict that sort of thing.
Given that our bodies have enough to do, it's probably best to abstain.
I've been on MTX for more than 5 years and I drink several glasses of wine a week. In the past I would likely have several a night.....but I have cut back. I don't really want it like I use to. My doctor hasn't every made a big deal out of it. He says as long as my liver test are ok there shouldn't be a problem.
I think you'd be fine having your nightly drink; but I'd just start mixing them a little weaker. I certainly see no reason not to have one on the weekends. BUT; everyone has different opinions about this issue including our doctors. I'm constantly amazed how much our doctors differ on this issue.
Oh yeah! Doesn't it make you feel real comfortable in the knowledge of our docs!If I drink a beer or two or three the next day it feels like I have been run over by a train.
Why is that???? I feel like I have a bad hangover so I don't even drink anymore. Is it the RA doing something with my system???? Has anyone else experienced it to that level???
I feel like it hits me harder, I get a buzz a lot faster...but I don't really drink much and when i do its only like one drink anyway. RA does change the way your body works esp. depending on what medication you are taking.
Yes this business of each doctor having a different opinion on how much you can drink while taking MTX is a little un-nerving.
I typed in Methotrexate in the browser and that's where I found the info about no more than 2 drinks per month. Now I just typed in Rheumatrex which is the brand name and in their Patient Information leaflet under Who should not take Rheumatrex it says People who drink alcohol- so it must be pretty important.
It's really got the potential to ruin your liver all on it's own.
If I can't have my martini I don't want anything else so I guess I would have to make a choice to try a different medicine that doesn't ban alcohol. Enbrel= shots. Yikes I hate needles. I don't see myself trading vodka shots for needle shots LOL.
When Mark and I remarried we started a ritual of a glass of wine with dinner. It was really nice, something different for us, and it kind of marked a new beginning.
So yeah I do miss the drink.. But we decided we would go to something like a virgin Tom Collins, and drink it with the same ceremony and care we gave to a glass of wine. It isn't the alcohol content, its the connection.
Maybe your H is afraid of losing a connection with you. Join him, but drink something else, clear in a martini glass...
Man does this strike a chord with me. I was started on MTX right before the holidays, that really sucked! I too am a martini girl. Stoli up with 2 olives! I was odd man out.
I have had one since starting MTX. I was on a ski trip at a very nice restaurant. Let me tell you I nursed that sucker all night, partially because I was a little nervous about it. I will continue with the special occasion mentality as long as my tests are good. My personal opinion about martinis (traditional ones) specifically is that they are a big cup of booze, so I think that's a lot for your liver all at once. I think that should be kept in mind.
Every doctor, pharmacist, and internet source I have polled says 2 drinks a month are ok, so I do think that is the most consistent answer.
Since I don't want to waste my alcohol occasions, I buy no alcohol beer to have with pizza etc. There are quite a few brands out there, I found one that suits me. There is a very small trace of alcohol in them, but I never finish a whole bottle anyway. And like Katie's suggestion I have had virgin margaritas when I'm at a mexican restaurant.
I hope some of this helps.
Maybe you guys could take up smoking pot.
Like you said they are just one big cup of booze so I too worry if I have one and feel guilty too.
Lovie- hmmm... what would my 24, 19 and 16 yr. old think if they saw mom toking it up? LOL
I actually was dreaming of martinis the other night! I mean literally having a dream where I was making myself a martini!
Ganja man! That is something better left to my youth Lovie!I've had the same advice as Lovie, so I'll have a few a week and almost never on my MTX day. We hosted a wine tasting recently and I had a few tastes of each of the 5 wines and skipped the seconds everyone else had. Liver #s are good, so I'm good.
SnowOwl
See- that's what I picture I would do too. If my husband couldn't have something I wouldn't have it in the house to tempt him. But that's the kind of person I am. I don't know if it's fair to expect a person to give something up because you can't have it.
I think he tries to coerce me because in his mind he really thinks it's OK and he wants his "old drinking buddy" back. I printed out the Methotrexate page I googled and hilighted the part about abstinence or absolutely no more than 2 drinks per month and left it on his desk this morning.
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