Had to quit my job...again | Arthritis Information

Being a relative newbie around here, I really didn't want the first new topic I started to be a downer but my family, I'm sure, is sick of hearing this same old song and dance. I promise to try and keep this short.

5 yrs ago, my rd (of 2 yrs then) insisited that I quit my job and go on SSDI. After a year of her badgering me, I finally did. I got lucky and got the SSDI first time out, no hassles. And she was right, I did feel alot better. So much so in fact I thought I could go back to work. I worked at a dry cleaner, pressing clothes. No big deal, I thought. They took me back (my boss's mom has ra so I am very lucky to have someone so understanding to my problems) worked my schedule according to what I needed, 4hrs a day, morning work only...etc.

In trying to keep this as short as I can, 4 months later... here I am again, sitting at home cause it was way too much for me. This time around has been more of a mental blow to me than the first time and that was bad. Being the type of person I am, I never wanted to depend on anyone for anything. Now I depend on Uncle Sam for a handout check and my husband for his insurance and lots of other things. Last Thursday was my last day and everytime hubby goes to bed or to work, I'm in tears over this...again.

I feel like such a waste. When I got the SSDI so quick, it felt like even the government thought I wasn't worth having out in the workforce. Here's a check...stay home. I know lots and lots of people would love to have their SSDI and the wonderful hubby that I have but I just want to feel productive. It was great being back at work... gossiping with the other girls, talking about recipes and what not. Now I feel like I don't have anything worth contributing to the outside world and I have to start back where I was 5 yrs ago. This disease is a major bite in the butt! I hate it.

I'm sorry this ened up sooo long, I tend to be long winded when I vent. Thanks for giving me a place to let loose without having to talk to anyone who just rolls their eyes and says... "yeah, I wish I had it that bad. Sitting at home and getting paid for it." That's pretty much my family's take on the whole thing. I tell them to be careful of what they wish for, they just might get it! Again, sorry so long.

Ahhhhhhhhhhh Lisa. I can relate. I love my work. I have been on short term disability and it is very hard on the self esteem. My heart goes out to you. It feels good to be productive. What about volunteering for a cause you can get passionate about? Volunteering -you can adjust to how you are feeling and it is so rewarding.

My vents are much longer than yours

I wish I could make you feel better. Take comfort in the fact that you are in a situation beyond your control and that you stay home because you have to, not because you want to. Roxy has sound advice. See if you can do light volunteer work or something that won't jeopardize your SSDI. It's not enough, I'm sure, but what else can you do? I'm sure your family understands and they don't want to see you suffer. Focus on taking care of yourself and your family. We all know that is the most important and biggest job you will ever have.

{{{{Lisa}}}} Honey don't put yourself down like that.You can't help how your body is,you tried to work and who knows maybe you can try again.But so what if you get help from Uncle Sam and husands insurance.You worked hard for the ssdi and so has your husband.It is set up for people who are having a hard time and you are.I am so glad that you did get ssdi,that will help atleast with finances.

You take care and don't you worry about getting help.

I don't have any advise for you; I can only imagine how you feel. I'm only 34 and I too worry about what my future holds. These kinds of fears are on all of our minds.

Lovie

Hi everyone~
Thank you all for the kind, reassuring words. It helps so much just knowing I'm not alone with this stupid disease.

I really think my problem with this is, like cristene said "it is a situation beyond my control". I am a recovering alcoholic, I went through rehab 18 yrs ago. Addicts of any kind are usually very controlling people. When we can't control things, we use the drug of our choice to feel like we are some how regaining control... stinkin' thinkin' at it's best.

I can't control my RA. I do what I can, take my meds, try to rest, etc and still no control. I quit drinking because I was sick and tired of feeling sick and tired, as the AA saying goes. And now I'm sick and tired from something I can't change. I try so hard to put this disease in the same context as alcoholism...the serenity prayer, the fellowship of all the people on this board (like AA) and for the most part, it works really well. Just sometimes, it really gets me down.

I do feel alot better today because of you guys and plus my mom showed up today with foot long hot dogs from the local summer time hot dog stand! ~mmmmmm~ Soon to be closing for the season

I was thinking about the volunteering, but where I live there really isn't anywhere to volunteer. Town is like 15 miles away and with gas prices the way they are ~whew~ it was costing me about . a week just to go to work for a 0. paycheck! So, I guess after sitting down and reading this, maybe it was better for me not to be working, all things considered. When the gas prices go down some then I can venture into town to see what I can find. Besides, the little dog is VERY happy that I am here with her all day again! Thanks again you guys, you're the best!

Dear Aunt Lisa,

They just want to sit at home and get paid. You have to remind them that they don't want RA. You would much rather work than have RA!!!!

Don't feel down

Not being able to work is not the end of the road, as a matter of fact it can be quite rewarding. As Shelli mentioned, volunteering is a wonderful way to while away some time. I had to quit work last December but I still go back to the center and volunteer my time and now, I am thinking about joining the center's chorale group.

My point being, is that some times we have to find other ways of stimulating our emotional needs other than working.

It is hard at first but I have found that as time goes on, you begin to see that there can be a silver lining in those dark clouds, we just need to know where to look for them...

God Bless you,

Toni