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I'm in a difficult situation vis a vis a particular person.

For the first time in my life (and I pray to God it will be the
only time as well) I find myself in a situation where I
absolutely DESPISE an individual.   And I mean really,
genuinely, HATE and LOATHE, an individual.   I find them
completely ODIOUS.
I don't want to go into too much detail, but I do have
to see this person now and again
and cannot cut them out of my life.
This is some one who, given the choice, I simply wouldn't
have anything to do with ... but I don't have a choice.
Just thinking about them makes me want to vomit.

Also, expressing this hatred is completely out of the question.

Can anyone give me advice ... how can I regain some
kind of balance, or belief in myself, now that I discover
these feelings in me.....

Anna
Hate is such a strong word and feeling.

Is there something positive about this person that
you can think of? If so concentrate on that when you are
in the position of having to be around them.
You sure don't want to make others unconfortable when
they can feel your hatred for this person.
 
Be civil in their presence, and let it go when you are not.  I think once you come to such a strong 'realization' about someone, there is nothing else you can do.  Don't let it eat you up, or drag others into it.  You feel the way you feel.  That person has done something to earn those feelings from you.  Don't let them do that to you again, and leave it at that. Anna
Your honesty is refreshing. At best, about the only thing one can do is separate the person's terrible behavior from the person themselves. Too often we simple mesh the behavior with the person and respond to that. I find many people loathsome simply because of what they did or continue to do.

I really can't get comfortable with the idea of trying to see something good in someone whose behavior continues to be unacceptable.  Yes there is potential there and I am not rejecting them as a person, but  I'm not a social worker. Short of a changed life--I prefer to keep those people away from me, unless I need to interact with them for some reason.

There are some people that seem to irritate us for reasons we can't explain. They probably exhibit something that reminds us of something about ourselves or someone else that stirs up uncomfortable feelings.

There are folks that might as well wear an "Out of Order" sign. Don't use them and don't let yourself be used by them.

Thank you all for your kind replies.

Mab - I will remember to hang the "out of order" sign (figuratively speaking) around the individual's neck next time I see them.   Thank you for making me smile!

Anna

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