I thought I would post an update on what's been going on for me. I haven't posted much lately about where I am at and a few people have been emailing and inquiring how I am. Crap! I feel stressed out just reading about what you've been going through and I didn't even have to go through it! Hope things look up for you!
Anyone who has emailed, thank you for your emails. I read and appreciate every one of them. Know I will reply as usual, when I catch up. I am just a tad overwhelmed at the moment trying to answer them. Sorry for that.
Up until a month ago, I had two months where my RA was pretty settled. I think this was due to me starting on Probiotics, they definitely seemed to settle the whole RA thing down during that time. As many others have found them to help, I too am finding they are definitely worth through into my mixed lolly bag here.
I know you are a trooper but that is a massive load that you carry.
I can only give you my thoughts and ask the man up stairs to help lighten the load a bit.
Hugs..........
Thanks, both of you. Yes, my plate is decidedly full.
Seems to be part of what my life is about...managing a full plate. And that isn't the half of it and only the last four weeks...I hope I am getting better at managing some of it.
Oh, and then there is the ex husband, who two years ago, got 'rid of me' a he deserved better than a chronically ill wife, he might have to help and care for...now is calling me 4 or 5 times a week wanting to 'engage' me and make his life better. He found that his problems followed him, he still has them and now I am supposed to offer comfort. He is calling so much at night when I am exhausted, I have stopped answering the phone, just to see how many times he tries to call me...ten times, one night recently.
Meanwhile, he is leaving our daughter asleep in cars at night (she's six) while he goes and plays poker with friends who are into not only alcohol but things like Ecstacy, then he is driving her around after that who knows how inebriated/stoned etc.
I am certainly learning to trust that Neve and I be okay, somehow. That God/Higher power/the universe or whatever it is to you...is supporting us and that we will get through somehow, someway. I have a big mental list of 'the plate' and am attempting to deal with it one thing at a time. I hope I am succeeding.
Hi Cords, I have had a sh*t couple of days, excuse the language, and I read your post and realise, I am definitely not the only one. The 'black dog" definitely raised its head here and really scared me, thankfully I feel better today so far but I was really shaken at how it gets hold of me, I don't feel ready to let my posts show what happened yesterday at the pain clinic but will get around to it. My poor hubby just gets on with everything, he doesn't have the comfort I have that if everything gets too much, I just switch off and retire to bed, I feel awful for him but the stress exhausts me like you, I just wish you had a reliable spouse to look after you, as I would not be able to cope without Gary. I truly wish you well and pray that you will find your knight in shining armour to look after you and Neve and love you both unconditionally. You certainly don't need another 'child' like your ex to look after. I think if your ex is stoned/drunk driving Neve around, it is time to cut ties, get some advice, my sister went thru the same thing and it was an awful worry, something you do not need on top of everything else. Just remember your pain forum family are always here for you Cords, love and admiration from your friend Janie.XXXXX
I agree- you don't need the extra worry of thinking Neve is not being properly cared for or exposed to undesireable behavior when she is with her father. You may want to insist on supervised visits.I'm sorry you are having such a bad time right now. It seems like we walk a very fine line between "ok" and sick, and it does not take much to send us into a flare. Then one thing starts up everything else. You can only do so much. Don't worry about the move yet, it is still a ways off and may go better than you expect. I hope life improves for you soon.
Laker, yep, that is it. We do seem to walk this fine line where the littlest thing can trigger us into a flare. I feel also the move will be okay this time. I am really trusting that somehow that will all be okay and not effect my health too much. And like you say, I am not really worrying about it yet as it is not urgent, thank goodness. One thing at a time here. What I am doing is writing down what is important about it as I believe writing things down is powerful. Like, it would be great if we could get a place where we are not going to have to move again...where we can stay long term e.g. five years which would give me a chance to heal and get well. This will be our third move in two years. None of them instigated by us. Lol. In writing it down, I am putting it out into the universe what I need. I think that's important to do at the moment, but apart from that and putting out my 'feelers' with people I know I am not doing much major action on the move right now. It can wait.
Babs, thanks for your kind words. Please any information or ideas you have about Neve's situation, that would be great. I am starting to think I am going to have to take this thing to court because he is putting her in situations that aren't okay and yes, I think I need to stop it. Please PM me or my email address is on my profile, sweetie. Thanks.
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