This is a question for those of you who were diagnosed in childhood or adolesence. At what point did you feel able to cope on your own and deal with life as an adult? I'm 23 now but feel like I'm maturing more slowly than my friends in terms of independance and assertiveness. They have jobs, house, husbands and children whereas I've only just entered higher education and live at home during the holidays. I'd say I was more 19 than 23 but I've reached a point where I don't want to feel like a child any more, I want to be treated like an adult. It doesn't help that I don't seem to have changed much physically since the age of 14, because of chronic illness and the steroids used to treat me!
I would be interested to hear any thoughts on this.
Thanks, Moonie x
Moonie, I have had RA since I was 4; however, I did not get officially dx'd until I was in my 30s. Nothing has changed for me other than more joints are affected and it was progressed to being a constant problem. I didn't do a lot of PE as a kid but other than that, everything was pretty much the same. I got married at 19 and had my first child at 23 so I guess it didn't change the growing up part for me. I wish I could be of more help.
My second cousin has now been dx'd with RA and she is only 3. The docs are much better now at catching RA when you are young. They haven't put her on meds yet because of her age but she already walks funny which is so sad. By the way, 23 is still young so enjoy yourself and don't worry, when the time is right everything will fall into place.
Moonie, You have probably heard this before. But someday you will be happy for your "youthfulness". Many of us lose our childhoods way too young and grow old way too fastI'm sorry your second cousin has been diagnosed with RA Cristene. I was diagnosed with viral Arthritis at 3-7, had intense physio, had to wear splits and a neck brace, but I went into remission and had a 'normal' 7 years. Perhaps if it's treated early she will have a better outlook. I sure hope so!
Best wishes, Moonie
Moonie - All we can do is the best we can.
I know many able bodied 'kids' still living with Mom & Dad who are pushing 30. Some of them had kids of their own and are still back home!
What really matters isn't the other 'kids'. It's whether you are headed the right way and even more important are you having a little fun along the way.
You sound like you going to get there! Try to have a little fun.
I kinda got thrown into husband and kids. I still do not do like most people my age. Tend to the house, wash dishes, and things of that nature. I have just be inducted in my sibling ring...lol...after 26 yrs....lol...I was always left out of the sibling ring. But as of this year I am In!! YAY!!
Hi Moonie,
RA started for me when I was 18 mos but I wasn't diagnosed until I was 3. I too look young for my age because the RA stunted my growth a bit. I'm very small and petite. It was embarrassing that in HS I was still wearing kids clothes. Snoopy sneakers too as they were the only thing I could get my bunion feet into!
When I was in college my friends would get a kick out of the fact that I could pass as a kid at the movies and get a cheaper ticket. So there are some benefits! As a kid I wore splints, limped, had numerous surgeries. There's no hiding that I'm disabled. I still get stared at as if I walked off a space ship.
I think the real turning point for me is when I moved away after college and got my own aparmtent. I did all my own cooking, cleaning and shopping which seemed to baffle some people. Some people look at me and see a small weak woman and others see me as this strong independent women. It's funny actually. I guess that speaks to their own experiences and hang ups.
My mother still babies me and treats me like a child. I'm 35. I have been told by friends older than me that they're mother's treat them the same way. So I don't think it's an RA thing. I think it's an annoying mom thing.
Take your time growing up and enjoy it. I know it's probably quite frustrating for you at times because you want to be viewed as the young adult that you are but it will all sort out.
Thanks for the replies; you are all right, there is no rush. Growing is one of those things that just happens, regardless. Kayobe, I can really relate to your story, it's reassuring to know that others have experienced similar things.
Love and hugs to you all,
Moonie