What do I do now? | Arthritis Information

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I'm in tears here. My PCP just called me and told me they're not willing to fill out the FMLA paperwork because they don't know what's wrong with me and they can't answer all the questions on it. Nevermind that I have high RA, CRP, ANA, sed rate, etc. values. Everything points to an inflammatory arthritis. And these results have come back repeatedly. They're telling me the specialist will need to fill it out and the appointment isn't for three weeks.

My boss is being VERY hard on me, making comments that I "don't look sick" and "you look better today" and complaining that I'm not "staying on task."  I've been with the company 11 years; the boss is new to me (has never been my supervisor) and I got him just when I started getting sick, so he apparently has it in his head that I'm a slacker, not that I'm sick.

I can't miss ANY more time at work without risking losing my job, which means losing my health insurance, which is a Bad Thing right now. I'm sitting in the cafeteria at work right now on my laptop and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to urp before I go back to work, which is going to make me late back from lunch. (Lunch. Ha. I had a couple bites of roast pork. I haven't kept a meal down in three days. I didn't eat much dinner last night -- it came back up -- and no breakfast. I've lost nine pounds in ten days.)

I can't keep food down. I can keep a bite or two down but anything more comes right back up. I am so tired that I feel like I'm going without ANY sleep even when I'm sleeping 12-14 hours. I get tired just sitting up.

I huuuurt so bad. Every joint hurts. I saw the doctor Friday and they put me on relefan. Then the NP I saw ... quit or was fired right after I saw her that day. She was supposed to fill the paperwork out ... (there's more, it was an AWFUL visit, but anyway ...) I go back tomorrow to see them again, but what's the point if they won't do anything?

I just don't know what to do. I've been to the emergency room. I've seen multiple PCPs. I've even brought it up to my allergist/asthma doc under the principle that they deal with autoimmune stuff too. Nobody will do anything other than to say it's "probably autoimmune." They won't even call the rheumatologist to try to get me in earlier. And I've asked everyone from my asthma doctor to the ER doctor if they can please help me.

And I hurt. I hurt SO bad.  I can barely walk and I've fallen a couple of times trying to sit down because my back cramps.
(((hugs))) Sorry you are feeling so bad.  cygnet. i'm sorry you are having a tough time right now. But here is a suggestion. Save the urp for when your boss is in the room. Urp on your desk and then run to the bathroom, leaving it to lay on the desk for all to look at. Then....come back to your desk, and urp again. A few URP piles on your desk should be a clear indication to your boss that just maybe you ARE sick. It won't take too many days of this to convince your boss that maybe...you should stay home. Good luck. oh, and by the way, he can't fire you for being sick....he will be in big trouble with the labor board. As long as your evaluations are shiney and you are not on probation, and you show up to work, do your job....and continue to urp on your desk...you are safe. hang in there. i hope you get some answers soon. Ask your doctor for a Rx for phenergan or oral zofran(this one is non sedating). this should help. i feel bad for you as i have been there and completely understand. my employer (a hospital) was sympathetic to my situation so i was lucky.Can you file a complaint against your boss with your Human Resources Dept?  Explain to them that a firm diagnosis often takes some time, and the stress of your boss's insensitivity is aggravating your condition, not improving it!talk to your doctor tomorrow when you see him...its easier to make a point face to face explain thingsLorster is sooo funny. But jeeze, maybe that's what it takes for him to physically see that you are SICK! I am sorry you feel this horrible. People have good points on here, you need to go talk with HR, today if you can. Explain what you just explained on here! Hopefully you will get more support going through HR. I really hate the fact that you have to prove you are sick by LOOKING sick. It's not fair is it? hang in there , you will be ok!it is important that you bring this to someones attention. make sure you comply with company policy when making a complaint...follow the chain of command. once you do this, it is documented that you are feeling discriminated against. the company will have to think twice about your situation.Cygnet, I am so sorry.  This is so stressful and probably making your health even worse.  You've already gotten good advice, and it sounds like you've done everything to get to an RD as soon as possible.  You've probably already done this, but have you called the RD's office yourself to try to get in earlier?  Is there another RD around you could see sooner?  Hang in there. [QUOTE=lorster]cygnet. i'm sorry you are having a tough time right now. But here is a suggestion. Save the urp for when your boss is in the room. Urp on your desk and then run to the bathroom, leaving it to lay on the desk for all to look at. Then....come back to your desk, and urp again. A few URP piles on your desk should be a clear indication to your boss that just maybe you ARE sick. It won't take too many days of this to convince your boss that maybe...you should stay home. Good luck. [/QUOTE]

Not Feeling So Well after reading this ..

Urping  Boney..

 
I would also call the RD... tell tell tell TELL them you need an emergency visit.. that you are suffering with X Y and Z.. have they been faxed your tests?? if not.. FAX them.. demand to be seen.. they have room for emergencies..
 
You have to be your own best weapon......
 
I wish  you well.. and let us know..
 
1. Have you talked to HR and formally requested FMLA leave?   If not, talk to them ASAP.
 
2. If yes, what date and did they provide you with a medical certification to have completed?    You have 15 days to return the medical certification once it's provided to you.  You should still fill out a FMLA request form so it's on file.   They don't have to certify it as being FMLA eligible until the medical cert is sent, but they have to allow you to request the leave.
 
3.  Medical Certification: The standard form does not require a diagnosis, so there is no need for your GP to wait on a diagnosis.  What is required is some medical facts to support the need for FMLA - test results, medications, etc.    Did the form you gave your GP request a diagnosis?
 
3.  When you say you've been missing time from work, how much are you talking - a few hours a day - a few days a week?    Knowing what your current condition is like, will your GP support you being off work fulltime.  
 
I think the most important thing is to be real clear with your doctor that without the medical certification, your job is at jeopardy.   2nd is to talk to HR  - it's their job to handle this kind of issue and work with your manager to settle down and allow you the time to get the paperwork completed (assuming it hasn't been 15 days)   Sounds like your manager needs some coaching as well on quite a few topics.  
 
Sorry this got a little long - I used to (and still backup) handle leaves at my current job and we are so very good to our employees and work with them, that it makes me angry when employers are nasty about it.
You and I are in the same boat. They wanna fire me too for missing so much work. I got calls yesterday telling me that my doctor had not filled out the FMLA paperwork... he had but forgot to put the length of time that I need it. Hopefully it'll all be taken care of soon.
 
Does your doctor know that you will lose your job without this paperwork? I made sure I told mine that. He wants to get paid, so he needs me to have a job!
 
I am so sorry that you are so miserable. We've all been there. Hugs to you. I hope you feel better soon. Wendy
I work for a very large corporation. There are very strict rules that exactly adhere to the laws ... The general logic is that if we are sick enough to need substantial leave, or leave beyond our vacation allowance, we are sick enough to qualify for FMLA. Otherwise, you get 40 hours per year for "unexcused absences" for everything from flat tires to your dog died.  And yes, they can make it unexcused even if you're sick if you don't dot your "I's" and cross your "T's" and play the game of getting FMLA coverage.

The doctor office's logic is that he can't fill out the paperwork for FMLA because (1) it asks for a diagnosis and I don't have one and they've only seen me a few times for this and (2) it asks for a period of time that I'm expected to be sick and they can't say.

So basically, I need the FMLA so I can make sure my time's covered for doctor visits so I can get diagnosed. But I can't have FMLA until I'm diagnosed. *headdesk*

(I can take doc visits as vacation, but I'm rapidly running out of vacation time. I think I have ten hours left. And I am SO PISSED that the NP I saw Friday basically blew me off -- LITERALLY said she had no time for paperwork -- then promised to do the paperwork only after I begged and had a crying meltdown -- and then either quit or was fired and now I have to go back in again because apparently she didn't leave any notes about anything.)

I may have to go to an early morning shift so that I can have time in the afternoons for doc visits. That's going to be so much fun with fatigue. Or a 4/10 schedule. Ditto on the fatigue. Part time is also possible, but then there's $ concerns.

As far as my boss goes, I honestly think he's more clueless than deliberately malignant, but he's not helping and every time he says, "You don't look sick ..." I tend to translate it to, "And why are you screwing up? Why do you keep asking me to repeat things and claiming you didn't understand or remember something? You're not sick ..." even if that's not, actually, what he's saying. And he has been pulling me aside about staying on task and things. I just get so tired and I hurt so bad, it IS affecting my work performance. I think he just doesn't get it.

Barfing at the boss's feet is tempting. Barfing in the bathroom with a couple of the biggest office gossips in there (oh, hai, no I can't gossip, gotta go do some toilet worship ...) happened today, so he'll probably hear about it anyway from people other than me, which may make a bigger impression. I'd also wager money that the rumor becomes I'm pregnant within a day or two, but anyway. I should start a betting pool on how long it takes that rumor to get started with a few of my friends ... *grin* I've got to laugh about it, you know? Or I'll cry. (Pregnant = because, you know, upchuck at the office means morning sickness. Which it's not. I checked. Three times.)

Cygnet2008-06-11 17:40:18

Sounds like there isn't much room for flexibility.   Still seems not right that your FMLA form is asking for a diagnosis to be listed - the DOL model notice doesn't request diagnosis and it may not be legal to request,  but if that's how your company is handling it, they must have checked it out.   As far as the length of time needing leave - we would get quite a few back with estimated lengths or "undetermined at this time"  listed. 

Good luck with your visit - I sure hope your GP is understanding and completes it.     
I feel so bad for you. No one should have to deal with all this stress while feeling so ill. I have no further advice but I will include you in my nightly prayers. This is EXACTLY how I got fired! Large company, insurance company no less! I was on FMLA, the first one sent back said I needed time for various Dr appts. There is an option for that. They can put in a DX of something very broad like Unspecified connective tissue disease, or Polyarthritis, SOMETHING that shows you have something and they have not had time to figure it out. I was on FMLA for about 900 hours total since the first of the year. This was October. My doc at the time, said he felt it was "all in my head". I had all the probelms you are having with focus, no memory, can't stay on task, etc, etc, etc. I even went to a therapist for almost a year to try to help! Now, I was starting to believe it was all in my head too.
Long story short...I got fired because the A$$hole would not give them a DX , and said I was fine to go to work full-time.
Pop forward a year later and about 4 docs, and I finally get a dx of RA.

Call the RD and tell them it is URGENT that you get in! Tell them if you don't get something on paper to explain all your pain and foggy memory you will be fired.
Another reason for your fatigue is probably because you can't keep anything down, leading to malnutrition.

Also, go to HR and explain. I did get an extension on my 15 days by an extra week. Maybe you can get an extension.

AND... STAY ON THE DR'S BUTTS TO GET THE PAPERWORK IN! It is YOUR responsibility to follow up on it to make sure it's in on time.

Good Luck and gentle hugs.  Unspecified Inflammatory Polyarthropathy - this was my "Hmmm..we are not too sure, but it's some kind of Arthritis" diagnosis. If a company is going to fire an employee, I think they will find a way to do it no matter what. It is a good idea to document everything at this point. And Cygnet, whatever you do, don't quit. Let them fire you if that is what is going to happen. That way you can collect unemployment. Just do your best and keep doing your job to the best of your ability. And get to your doctor and get something in writing to protect yourself. If I had an employer like you do, I would be sick all the time just from nerves.
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