Sometimes I Hate Being a Woman! | Arthritis Information

I just gave notice that I am leaving this job for another one (that is a good thing for me). My firm will survive. Other associates have left before me. So why must I start crying in the middle of giving notice. To 2 different people. Got my composure in between. Seriously! ARGH! And I am an attorney so it is NOT professional looking! But I had all this anxiety built up. Of course it made them feel sorry for me, so they were not at all mean about it (doubt they would have been anyway) but it doesn't reflect well and I feel like a bumbling mess.

I need a drink, but can't have one because of the gd MTX.

Oh Arggha!!!! You poor thing!!! Not only are you a woman but a sober woman. Yes we all have had days like this. I have cryed when it was the last thing i wanted to do. I hate that. I also have those days when a drink would be really nice i think. Or maybe even several would sound good. To much medicine. I wouldn't even chance it. But look at the upside. Your not a drunken man. LOL That would surely be worse. Nothing against men of course, I love men. Just that I do enjoy being a women for the most part. But just for five minutes I would change bodies with someone to be healthy enough to have a little fun and let my hair down.What's worse is that my misinformed family are constantly saying "whatever, one drink won't hurt." My mom doesn't drink, my dad drinks regularly (but not too much) and my sister drinks socially. So we will get together and they are constantly pressuring, thinking I'm just being a worry wart to turn down a drink!I've been on MTX for more than 5 years and have several glasses of wine a week. Many of us here do. My doctors ok with it and my blood test have always been fine. I can't figure out why so many doctors differ on this subject.

Sorry you had a rough day.

I do not really feel sorry for myself for not drinking. I mean truely on those bad emotional days when one feels like they should have a drink to calm down. Really truely i do not think the drink does you that much good. Just for me personally I am fine without it most of the time. I fret more ablout just feeling wore out and crippled up. Like today my toe had a fit and i had to hop on one leg. Not that it was an easy or even smart thing to do. Just glad i was home when it happened. Then i said who ever put my crutches up better go find them. I do not use them always. But i like them handy even if they are an eye sore and in the way. I don't think like I use to. I've cut out my habit drinking. I use to have several drinks a night; mmore out of habit than wanting or needing it. I just started pouring the wine as soon as I got home from work.

I think if I told myself I couldn't have any at all (or my doctor told me that) I'd want it even more. After a while I don't miss it. As I've gotten older I don't drink for the buzz like I did when I was younger.

I do enjoy a glass of wine or two when I want though.

Oh when i was younger i drank like a fish. But as i got older i really only drank maybe a couple times a year. So i had already grown out of it before i started taking all of this medicine. Just guess as i got older i had more hobbies and ways i would rather spend my time. But there are those days. I guess truely it would be nice to have more options in life. LOL Just all around. I have a friend that visits on occasion. And one day we went out for drinks. I new ahead of time and did not take my pain pills. I only had half a pina colada. So my friend was trying to be polite and did not finish there drink. The next time my friend game to visit. And said lets go out for drinks i said wonderful you drink i will watch. Because i said honestly hobbleing around in pain is not worth it to me. But i do not mind if other people do drink around me. As long as they are not like a falling down drunk nuisance or something. So what can i say i go out for drinks i just have a soda.I haven't discussed with my RD recently, but I haven't had bloodwork done since I was increased to 20 mg. I was being watched closely for a while for anemia, but RD said my liver bloodwork looked fine. I took it upon myself to start having one drink every other week. I will probably ask him again later at the end of July. I have bloodwork this week, and appointment in another month.

My father is Scotch/Irish/Welsh and he always tells me that I come from a family of good livers. He's had some health problems lately but not with his liver, despite the fact that he drinks every day. He can quit, had to for a few months for health reasons, but definitely drinks most nights. He can handle it (not that it's a good thing to build up a tolerance).

So we were on vacation last weekend and I had my "one drink" and ended up having another the next night from their harrasment. But DH is supportive and I will worry about my liver until I have bloodwork having been on 20 mg. I had some liver problems when I had mono, and also had some problems when I was on Darvocet/Prednisone at the start of all this.

I went to school in New Orleans and definitely enjoyed alcohol there (although I was not a party girl, and I am proud I was not!) I have been pregnant and/or breastfeeding a lot in the past 4 years, so you get used to not drinking, but that is always a temporary condition, unlike what MTX may be! Before MTX I drank maybe 1-2 times a week, never more than 2 drinks. I do miss it!

Yes i just like to believe that they will come up with a magic cure. Like a vacine. And we will get one shot someday and be cured. Then we can do what we want to do. I guess i have trouble excepting this is a life long problem. Oh that would really bumb me out. I am just considering the fact that i may live in a day when they will find a real cure soon. Well thats how i live in my la la land. It makes me happy. milly2008-06-25 18:25:03I miss my red... I haven't had a single drink in over a year... Since I had my first bad flare. I was afraid to!! then w/ the MTX, I didn't because I sure don't want to add liver issues to all this..

but, in september, when my grandson is born. I will imbibe to drink a toast to him... you betcha.

Sorry your family is insistent on your indulging.. but, you are a strong woman who can make her own decisions (obviously) and don't worry about the little bit of tears when you resigned. Some may view it as something other than emotional change.

Good luck w/ your new position!!

KatieG I understand completely! Before RA and MTX I had a martini every single weeknight. 9:00 was "cocktail hour" for as long as I could remember. It was the hour the kids all had to go to "bed" (even if it was to watch tv or whatever in their rooms) and my husband and I put our feet up and unwound and wiped the slate clean for the day.

On the weekends we drank more. Our friends are drinkers too. I say that and I don't want to lend the impression that we are a bunch of sloppy drunks- that's not the case but when we are together socially we drink.

Now I get RA. Now I have to take MTX. My first doctor said not a drop! The liver thing was stressed very clearly. At first I was so sick I didn't care to drink. I was on so much pain meds it wouldn't have been safe to drink anyway.

Then I got better. Now I had to watch my husband have his martini or two every night and more on the weekend. I had to watch our friends and him drink. Suddenly their jokes were no longer funny. Suddenly I couldn't stand their good moods. I grew very resentful of my husband. I didn't feel right about wanting to tell him to stop drinkling in front of me- I didn't think it was fair to him. But I thought if the roles were reversed I wouldn't drink in front of him. So my resentment built and it showed whenever he drank. He also would try and coerce me to drink telling me that the doctor was exaggerating.

I guess he caught the hint. Now he really only drinks beer and not daily, which I don't care for so it doesn't bother me. My new doctor says I can drink occasionaly so I have a martini once per month and he joins me. He still trys to tell me I can drink more often but I will not jeapordize being well on MTX with ruining it by getting my liver levels up from drinking.

I still get depressed that I don't have the freedom to drink whenever I feel like it but it's probably a hell of a lot better for my health that I don't.

Sometimes I just feel like I really need a vice- I'm at a loss for what to do....

Much hugs, KatieG!My DR just told me it's OK to have a couple of drinks Now and then on MTX. Another words not two six packs and shots every night. AS far as hating to be a woman you could get a addadicktome operation ( LOL sorry I could not help myself )Yes but what does "now and then" or "occasionally" mean? I wish they would be more specific.[QUOTE=wanttobeRAfree]Yes but what does "now and then" or "occasionally" mean? I wish they would be more specific.[/QUOTE]

A couple of drinks say on the weekend

I think my doctor's instructions are that I can have "two drinks a month." It's even written on the little handout. I guess they figure you will cheeat a bit over that, so about one a week?Katie. I think with this disease, we must continue to live. Your doctor is most likely being cautious. Ask him why that amount. That seems a bit conservative but he most likely has his reasons based on your current lab work, etc. Katie, I think you're very wise to be careful about alcohol since you've had a couple of liver issues in the past. I wish your family wouldn't pressure you. Liver trouble is very serious and for that reason I stopped all alcohol completely. Now, if I was told to stop all sugar intake, that would be a problem and I'd probably sneak the occasional piece of cake, but I don't miss alcohol much and for me it's just not worth taking any risk I don't have to.

About the crying,....I used to work as a legal assistant for several years and I got to know the attorneys well, men and women. If one of the women cried because she was leaving, I would be touched by the emotion that shows she's still a human being and not just a legal machine. I have to admit, and it may not be fair, but I would be uncomfortable if one of the men showed that kind of feeling. You don't expect it of men. But women are the more gentle, nurturing sex and regardless of what you do or who you are, you still have the heart (and hormones) of a female, with the emotions that go along with it. Sure, there will be some who will take this or any opportunity to be critical, but you truly did nothing wrong. Your reputation as an attorney should speak for itself, regardless of this small show of emotion.

Thanks! I am doing better today. I have told 10+ people now, and only cried when I told a female partner, because I knew she would be sympathetic. But I was able to stop the tears and move on--yay! Almost done telling everyone. Will be a relief when everyone knows.

My hand has been worse than usual the last 24 hours, I think it is stress?

Stress makes everything worse. I wouldn't be surprised if that's the cause. We had a GM who was a man leave here and he had tears in his eyes. It was said he was leaving on his on accord but I don't think so.

I would get teary if I left here to even on good terms- just because I really put my heart and soul into this place and things would be changing.

As for the drinks- I didn't get a hand out but I did see some other on line doctor who said 2 drinks a month also. Nothing is clear- it's hard to make a good decision

Katie,

congratulations on the new job. Every one needs a good cry now and then and I'm sure the people who were there understood. Bet they've done it, and felt the same way you did afterwards, at some time in their life too. And besides, they probably know you enough to know that you are NOT "a bumbling mess"

I wish I could have a drink too. I'm so messed up from 20 mg of prednisone 2 x a day and major insomnia that a drink would do me in. So I have my pretend drinks.

Hang in there,

Cathy

As far as amount of alcohol - my RD is fine with 3-4/week as my tests have always been great. I just need to avoid day before, day of and day after mtx. I like my red wine, so glad that I can still indulge. If I had a history of liver issues, I'm sure the answer would be different.