In
a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first
witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her
and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She
responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since
you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me.
You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk
about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you
haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than
a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.' The
lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the
room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?' She
again replied, ' Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He
can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is
one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his
wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know
him.' The
judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet
voice, said, 'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll
send you both to the electric chair.' I love it !!!