sassy Doctor | Arthritis Information

I went to the doc. today, because having surgery on thur. well I had a list of questions that I needed answers to. So I gave her time to tell me, but she wasn't telling me what I wanted to hear. I ask about the test that was taken last week, she said they all come back ok but one. That something showed on the lymph nodes. when I try to get more out of her she said that she would sent me to a parthology (know thats not spell right). I asked her about radation or chemo, she did answer that. I don't think I asked anything out of line. before I could ask any more she layed into me telling me for the 3rd. time what she was going to do Thur. That she had only been seeing me for 2 weeks and already had me set for surgery. That she does, what is best for the patient and that I didn't want mouth cancer, come on she telling me nothing about the cancer that she is taking out of my mouth on thur. I just hope she was telling me that she wanted to get it out as soon as she could, before it spead to other parts of my mouth. and to beat it all she ask me if I went to my gp, to be checked before surgery, no one told me to. she was wondering about my heart and I told her I had been to a heart Doc. a few months ago for a 3 hour test on my heart, where they put you in and scan your heart plus tread mill. The Heart doctor couldn't find anything wrong with heart, so she called gp, who had no record of me ever going, come on he's the one who sent me ( I sure didn't go on my own). She acted like I was lying to her, so I signed a release so she can get records from the cardiolist. I wonder if they have a record of me being there...When you get old and sick do doctors think you are oject, just do what they tell you and keep your mouth shut. that they don't have to talk to you. I may not be the smartest person on earth, (as you can tell from my spelling) but I do have feeling and want to know whats going on. Are we the only ones who ran into these kind of problems or is it the same for all ages? I know they never talk to my husband when it comes to his health, but they will tell me everything about him. but when I'm trying to talk to them about me, they beat around the bush as we use to say...... Do you know what I'm trying to say. Maybe I'm just taking it wrong, but why would Doctors order test and not get the resaults or even know they ordered them. I'm so sick of test and doctors and i'm just getting started with this. oh well tomorrow is another day.Rusty, I am so sorry. Nobody should be treated like this, and unfortunately, what you experienced from not being told what to do, to doctors covering their ass, to reports going missing, lab tests screwed up from one end to the other, is the norm these days.

I have found through the years when a good friend contracts (is that the right term, like catching a germ?) cancer, is to volunteer to take all their medical billing and handle it for them. Is there someone you trust who can take this part from you? I don't know your situation, but having someone you trust keep an eye on the billings and the mistakes (always in their favor) is a big burden off you in a very trying time.

It sounds like this doctor wants to move fast for a reason. This might be one of these times in life where you do have to just let go and trust your life to someone else for a bit. At least she is paying attention and actually taking action, that's huge. Best of luck with your surgery and we are all pulling for you. Cathy

Rusty, I'm sorry you're being treated so poorly by your surgeon, that just stinks. Here you are trying to be an informed patient just like "they' tell you to, being proactive and involved in your own care, and this is what it gets you. Your surgeon should be ashamed of herself, I believe it's part of her job to fully answer any and all your questions. I can't imagine her allowing a member of her own family to be treated like that by their physician. Please don't let her off the hook, continue to ask until all your questions are answered to your satisfaction, it's your body. Best of luck on Thursday, I will be sending positive thoughts your way.

Andrea

Aw, I'm sorry it's going like this for you Rusty. Here you are, you gotta be at least a little scared. To have a doctor that won't address your questions in a way you understand just makes it that much harder. I like Cathy's suggestion. I hope you have a "Cathy" in your life.

I am so sorry you are feeling disrespected.... is there someone who can go w/ you to these appointments? you go w/ your husband.. can he go w/ you??

You have a right to ask questions.. to have things spelled out for you... so that YOU understand what's happening and what needs to be done and why.

I hope you get answers and if you don't feel comfortable.. you have the right to see someone else.. a second opinion... Just dont' wait on it.

my best wishes for good results.

Rusty honey, I'm so sorry you are being treated like this. Your doctor sounds like an ass. I hope she is a better doctor than communicator.

In my experience, some surgeons can be extremely arrogant! I've said this to my PCP and he smiled, as if to agree with me. You have to stand your ground. Do you have someone who can go to your appointments with you and advocate for you? My husband is always with me. He may remember things that I forget, and won't let the doctors off the hook if they start evading answers.

And Cathy had a wonderful suggestion! Make sure it is someone you trust completely. I know my adult daughters are very good about that, if I need them. Of course they both work for hospitals as coders, now, but have also worked in billing for a medical group, and many years ago, for an insurance company.

I can/t stress enough, not to let your doctor get away with not exp;aining what is going to happen. You need to know what to expect. Did she explain the surgery to you?

Keep us posted, Sweetie. You know you have a lot of friends pra ying for you!

You are in my heeart and prayer1

Much love, Nini

I'm sorry your doctor was insensitive - you certainly need someone sensitive at a time like this.

I think one thing you should consider is that this is a surgeon - a cutter. That is what they do. Often they don't even have to communicate with patients much at all, they leave that to the GP's. They expect records to be sent to them, and all information available for them to just do their job and get out. They can be a very arrogant, single-minded individuals. Not all, please, but many in my experience.

This doctor very well may not know the answers to your questions. As I said, surgeons cut.

After your surgery, if you do have cancer you will be referred to an oncologist. They are the ones who know cancer in and out, and the treatments that are appropriate for the type of cancer someone has. In my experience oncologists are amazing people - they have to be to choose to go into that line of work. If it becomes necessary for you to be treated for cancer, I hope you will be blessed with a sensitive, caring oncologist.

You have a lot of issues medically and will be seeing many doctors because of that. I would recommend you get copies of lab results, and all other pertinent records applicable to your health history and keep them in a file. Each time a new test is taken, ask that a copy of the results be sent to you. Then when you visit a new physician, you can give him a copy of everything. It really does help everyone go through the process easier, and keeps you in the loop.

Over the years I have been through a lot with my mother and her cancer journey. If there is anything I can do to help you, Rusty, I will be happy to. Just take it one step at a time and reach out to others for support. Hugs and prayers sent your way!

Karen

Hugs, sweetie and more hugs. You should call the hospital patient relations and explain to them you need your questions answer BEFORE surgery.

Pip

Rusty I'm sorry this doctor left your mind so uneasy and still full of questions. I agree with the others who say if there is someone else you can bring with you to be another pair of ears and someone who will give you the moral support you need to speak up for yourself that would be the best thing. When you are feeling ill and anxious no one needs to go through what you are with these doctors. It's unacceptable that they don't remember sending you to a cardiologist, etc. I can understand your frustration.

Prayers going up for you that things start running more smoothly and for a succesful surgery on Thursday. Keep us posted.

thanks everyone. I know I can alway come in here and find the support that I need. I know I need to start a medial file and I need to take someone with me. Most of my family works and can't take off, unless its an emergency and they have enough of them with the kids, but they would if I asked.

Maybe I should tell you a little about myself.....I was born with a servere speech inpairment, all my life people couldn't understand me. Some take it as a mental problem. I made A's and B's when I went to school, I was made fun of so much even by teachers that I quit school 2 weeks before the end of 8th. grade. Over the years I have try to replace words with words that people could understant so I don't alway word things right. I'm very good at math and have worked as a book keeper, I have alway did all of ours and family and friends taxes every year. I now, take care of 3 people who need help, I do their banking and help them shop. I have learned myself about the computer and I can do just about anything on it. I don't feel dumb, I just wish people would understand me better....maybe this new Doctor thinks I'm too dunb to know anything....I don't know...wish my RD could take care of it, he listen to me and answer my questions. sorry to go on like this. Thanks again for all the replys

Well, when it comes to cancer, you probably won't have all of your questions answered. I sure didn't, even with my Dad, another cancer survivor and smarter than I, asking me about every little detail and coaching me to hold the oncologist's feet to the fire. He's right about it, but I was plain too sick to do everything he suggested. Somehow it all got done anyway.

In perspective, you just do the best you can and leave all the details with God. I'll be praying for you.
Mike

Rusty so sorry to hear about all you are going through. Follow Pip's sugestion and have a patient rep speak with you before surgery. They may well be able to get you the answers you are needing. It would be good to have a family member or someone you trust go with you to help you hear things you might miss. My husband won't go most times so take my oldest son.
Hugs and prayers go out to you.
mom2
Rusty- Well now that really throws another wrench in the works with your speech impediment doesn't it. How about making a list of questions and handing a copy to the doctor and keep a copy for yourself to makes notes on as they answer?Rusty. I think since the Internet became an everyday usefull tool, Dr's have become pissed off about the " knowledgable patient " People can find info their DR's is even unaware of. I have. So some Dr's think that you the know all are a keyboard Dr and they have no time for that. Just my 2 centsRusty. I would go through with the testing and surgery on Thursday since it is already scheduled but I would be doctor shopping soon after. You really do have to advocate for yourself these days. The internet was the best thing ever invented as I believe people are much more educated about their health these days. Doctors should see that as a time saver for themselves since many times the patient has already done the homework before they get to the office visit. Your doctor treated you like crap and I would take every opportunity to let her know how you feel the next time you see her. There is no guarantee that you will get a doctor you will get along with next time so ask around and find a doctor that is both reputable and has a good bed side manner.Rusty, I also forgot to add that you as a patient has rights and responsibilities. You should ask for a copy of them. Your doctor has the right to tell you everything that is going on and your questions should all be answered in such a way that you understand what it is you are getting into. You also have the right to refuse care but when you do, the doctor has the obligation to let you know what the consequences of your action will be. Do not go through with a test, procedure, surgery until you are fully educated on what is going on. Hi Rusty,

It is sad that the surgeon treated you so poorly. I hate to say it, but, I believe that is the norm these days of healthcare in the US. Last year I was suspected of having lymphoma and went through a lot of test and doctors. The best of them all were my GP and the oncologist. Hillhoney responded to you about the oncologist and hopefully you will get a caring one. Mine was fantastic and I couldn't have asked for a better one.

I think the advice about taking someone along is a great one. My oncologist had a person on his staff to take notes for a patient if they did not bring someone along. I think for me that was the most important thing you can do because they may hear something you did not because when being faced with all the treatment options,etc. it is hard to hear everything.

Most of all, please know that you are in the hearts and prayers of your friends here on this board. I'll keep looking for your updates...Hiking_gal

I sorry, Rusty. Much hugs and prayers.

Sorry about this doctor. Have you contacted the American Cancer Society for info and support. I have found them helpful in dealing with cancer in family and friends.

Take care.

Jan

Rusty; As always I have a different take on this. If this dr is pissy and treats you horrible and won't explain things--do you really want them as your dr? I think I would get a second opinion--I would want answers to my questions before anyone is going to cut me. I know time is important in this and I think you said surgery was scheduled for Thursday--tomorrow? If I stayed with that dr., I would let them know that you are scared and need answers, you have never been through this before and need information. Good luck--hope all goes well. Hey there Rusty, sounds like your dr and mine are related! Hope things go well for you tomorrow.

jamie

Hopefully this Dr. was having a bad day. Still that's no excuse. One thing you should remember is that while you are at your Dr. appointment, you are essentially their employer for that time slot. It is YOU that are PAYING them for their expertise. Try not to be intimidated-easier said than done when you're sick and scared-. I think having someone go with you to appointment makes it easier. Good luck and hang in there!
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