good bye to today | Arthritis Information

I for one am glad to end this day.

It started out unremarkable- no heart jump starts but I felt edgy and nervous all day. I have been sleeping poorly with bad dreams that wake me up with anxious feelings. Even though I know it was only a dream I can't turn off the anxiety.

Today my job brought a lot of unusual requests and I had to stretch myself beyond what I am used to handling- alot. Since I got RA and I have this fatigue and brain fog I have begun to doubt myself and what I am capable of. My self confidence level feels low. Being in a managerial position this is not good. I also have trouble articulating. I've been worrying that if this keeps increasing I will no longer be fit to do my job.

Then I did my 3 hr. grocery shop after work.

Later when I was watching TV my 2nd year college student comes down and nasitily asks me if I'm going to buy the rest of his school clothes or not. I turned him down last time he asked because the shorts (5 pairs) he wanted to buy on line were a piece! In front of his sister no less who I did not buy school clothes for. I have a certain set policy of what I will help them with while they are in school and personal items are not in it. Plus I had to buy him his fancy razor blades for his shaver that were over for 4 stinking blades that he put on my shopping list. Just the other day when I asked him if he had go online to a local newspaper near his University to see if there were any jobs he could apply for while it's still early- he told me this is why I hate to come home! I'm 19 years old- I can handle my own affairs- you are demeaning me! Well if he can handle his own affairs why am I buying his school clothes? Why did we have to put 2 tires on his car and get it an oil change because he didn't have the cash and it was absolutely necessary? He does have a job but it's only several days a week as a server at a failing restaurant and he didn't want to hear early on that he should look for somewhere else or at least take on another part time job to supplement what he was making. I work 2 jobs and I there is plenty I tell myself no to so I can help my kids.

Sorry- I've been doing a lot of whining lately I know.

I took a xannax tonight and like I said- I'll be glad to say good bye to this day and hope tomorrow is better.

Oh Wantobe, you are not whinning. I have delt with these issuses as well. I had to quit my job as a Food Service Director, Cook, Cheif Bottle Washer and Floor Scrubber. I had 2 teens as well. Always demanding and uncaring. My daughter was in a gang for quite a while. That took some time to get her out. My son just wanted money for silly things like cars and such. My daughter now is a bible backing mom with 3 kids and doing well. My son...well I haven't seen him in 5 years. I hope he is fine.

Please don't feel bad

I'm going to wipe the slate clean for the day and start over tomorrow.

Glad your daughter is on track- and your relationship with your son renews and becomes a better one!

Good Night

Don't ever think you are whining. We know what you are going thru. Kids can be a real trial at times. Stick to your guns, sweetie. Kids want to be grown-up and get no input from the folks, but when they want something it's different.

Get some sleep, and I hope you awaken renewed tomorrow.

Much love, Nini

i can totally relate to what you are going through. I have two teens living at home. One has been chomping at the bit to start his Air Force career, which has been put on hold for the last 8 mo. because of a surgery he had that still has not healed. I cannot get him to help around the house for anything- except maybe money, but i dont have any of that. He barely makes enough at his part - time job to cover the gas and insurance to get him there. His gf lives with us and is the biggest blessing in my life right now. She does anything and everything without having to be asked. I just love her to pieces! Younger son does try and do chores that needs doing without being asked, but he's oblivious to our financial situation and we want to keep it that way. He has been putting in job apps and resumes everywhere since he graduated, but since he just turned 17, nobody wants to give him a job. He's even resorted to fast food...

lost poet: I think it's wonderful your daughter has turned things around. Hopefully your son will do the same, sooner rather than later.... I will pray for your family

want to be: hang in there sweetie. I think we all go through periods of self doubt. YOu will know if your job gets to be too much for you. This darn disease can be such a pain in the butt sometimes!!!!!

Hope you had a good nights sleep - at least when you're refreshed you can take on the day. Nothing worse than trying to cope when you're tired. Sorry that your son is being such a pain. That would drive me nuts. I have two boys, 24 yr old is married, 18 yr old is heading off to college this fall. I feel blessed in that both have always appreciated what we have done for them. They may get a little irritated at my questions, but oh well.... The one difference I do see in them is that the 18 yr old has been at home since my dx, while the 24 yr old was not. While the older son checked online about RA when I told him, I don't think it's as real to him as to my youngest who sees me with my meds, taking naps, having some pain, etc. Was your son out of the house at college when you were dx and does he maybe not understand how RA can limit you? Just a thought - can you have a heart-to-heart with him? I know - guys always love having those emotional discussions with mom.

Hope today is better - at least it's Thursday, so the week is almost done.

ah yes.. the entitlement years...

Sorry, wanttobe.. I've also been there.. stand your ground.

It's a new day and I hope I feel better but that damn xannax has me feeling tired- I hate that after effect. At least so far I feel calm but I haven't gotten to work yet and my assistant is out today...

I was DX'd near Thanksgiving and was in the middle and at my worst part of my horrific onset at Christmas so all were home to witness it. I have to say out of my whole family this son giving me problems was the most helpful out of all them. In my house I am the rock and it was hard for anyone to believe or to accept that I was not able to do for them as I do. In fact they had to do for me. I was unable to even feed myself for several weeks. They did not do well with this. I could see them eyeing each other up when I would ask for help- like they were keeping score who was doing more than their fair share. It broke my heart. I always had to ask for help when it was so obvious I needed it- but no one would do anything unless I asked. We would be at the dinner table and I'd have two hand braces on so I could hold a plastic fork to eat but my meat was on my plate whole and everyone would be chomping away while I sat there unable to cut mine.

Anyway- my husband would go to bed at like 8:30 and leave me to fend for myself for the rest of the night on my recliner couch. I wasn't sleeping at all- had a severe pain cycle from 11 PM til 11 AM. That was my last bathroom trip because I couldn't walk unassisted. One night my son gave me my cellphone and he said Mom, if you need anything just call me- it touched my heart so deeply! He really has a good heart deep down inside. I know he is just wanting to be his own man- but he is not acting like one and his slacking and poor choices are hitting me in the pocketbook!

Oh crap- I better leave before I'm late for work!

Hope your morning is going better. My kids are little so I can only imagine what you are going through.

I hope that you have a better day and just remember that there will be a day when your kids understand all that you have done and sacrificed for them. It took me having my own children to realize how much my mother has done for me and how much she loves me. We are closer now than we have ever been. You sound like a wonderful and caring mother to me!! Hang in there!

So Sorry Wanttobe that you are going through all of that trouble with your son.
I have one who is exactly the same so I can totally relate to you. I keep asking myself when is that boy ever going to grow up! ! Anyways try and hang in there. I go through those kinds of days too. Those our the days when I keep telling myself ~tomorrow's just going to be better I know it.

Here's hoping your day will 100% better. Take care
Mom2
Wanttobe, I usually don't post when it comes to family matters because mine is so screwed up that I don't feel qualified to even make comments. But all i can say is you are a MUCH nicer person than me and I sure hope things get better for you.wantto..

what a touching story about your boy making sure you could reach him if you needed something!!

That is endearing..

but, since they are still growing up.. they have their moments of selfishness.. he'll pull his head "out" Im sure.. Hang in there.

Babs I still get a tear in my eye when I think about that night!

I think he'll turn out just fine too- it's just tough being a parent and having to act like one. They'll test you and also just make mistakes that they have to learn from and you have to stand by and watch even though it kills you!

It's been great to be able to vent and commiserate!

Man... I hope I do not have that to look forward to that stage twice! I am sorry, wanttobe. much hugs.

Oh- it's coming joonie! I once heard a phrase- small children small problems...big children big problems! LOL. I guess we all make it through though!Are you still allowed to ground them? How about a time out put your nose in the corner until I say you can move? Oh how about sending them to their room without dinner? How about throw a brush at them? How about yelling get out of my room?

I am feeling better today - thank you!

Well joonie I am still known to throw a shoe after someone running up the steps but grounding and time outs are way past LOL!

Oh you just brought back a memory of this son when he was little and in time out. I used to make him put his hands on his head while he stood in the corner because otherwise he would peel the wall paper off the wall! One time he swung from my curtains and pulled the rods right out of the wall! I have a million funny stories I could tell about that one!

You know we can all relate. Of course I care enough to write back to this post. RA just simply screws up our lives!!! You're entitled to do some whining. Hope things smoothe out soon for ya. :)[QUOTE=wanttobeRAfree]I am feeling better today - thank you!

Well joonie I am still known to throw a shoe after someone running up the steps but grounding and time outs are way past LOL!

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Well... the one I have always done is yell get out of my room. I have recently ventured into grounding, but it is hard to keep her grounded when MIL gives in.
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